Master has encouraged me, on my dominant profile, to begin looking for a submissive, a female. To be honest, I really thought He was just putting up with me talking to people, and really didn't want me to have someone submissive to me. I mean, I think it would be good for me, and give me a bit of self confidence while also teaching me a few things about how hard it is to be a dominant (so I would then have more respect for His authority as well). BUT I didn't really think He wanted me to actively look for a submissive, because what would happen if they came into our life? If I met this person, and turn out to be good at topping?

Fuck, I mean, what if I turn out to be terrible at it? I'd have wasted this other person's time and humiliated myself.  But if I am good at it, wouldn't that be worse? I'd have less time for being a submissive, and I know I would get emotionally attached to this person, ... I don't know how much.   I know right now that sexual contact (such as kissing, fingering or any type of sex[duh]) is not something I would be interested in with this person, but what if that changed? I don't want to be in a situation where I want to do something that I know is wrong, and I'm afraid that this would move me a little closer to that situation.

In fact, the whole thought that He really does want me to find a sub kind of scares me, because I don't know if I could really handle it. Some days I think "yes, maybe," and some days I think "hell no".

I'd like to talk to You about this, Master. If it's something I want to move forward with, I want to know what ball field I'm playing in.