Last Night's Punishment

I knew yesterday was a bad day from the start. I couldn't seem to get a grip on myself, and kept losing my temper over everything. I thought I'd gotten a mark three times yesterday for speaking out.

Then it happened. Master and I were talking about money, and I mentioned cash that he had, and was adding things together and His face went blank in a bad way, and come to find out He didn't have x cash in His wallet that He should have. We searched the house, and I had close to a breakdown, cursed and slammed doors, (didn't curse at Him, I knew I was angry and was trying to control myself but failed) and when we found the money, it was my fault. I had seen the money lying out somewhere and put it in a specific place so that it wouldn't be found by anyone else or eaten by our dogs.

He told me to apologize, and I did (after a few minutes, I needed to let the adrenaline slow down from the panic). Soon afterward I was sent to clean up after the dogs (we'd  been gone all day at church and my parents' house) and I lost my temper and yelled that it wasn't fair, I'd asked forgiveness and He'd forgiven me, why should I be sent to do it as punishment? I asked this as I was cleaning it up and washing my hands. He came into the bathroom and grabbed me by my hair and put me on my knees. Once I was looking up at Him, He said, "I told you to clean it up, not because I was punishing you, but because I am your Master and I didn't want to clean it up, so I told you to do it, since that's your job. Do you understand Me?" I nodded yes and He marked my hand, and then walked off and as He went out, told me to stay until I was ready. Just as I was about to get up, and had stopped crying, He came in and told me that was long enough, to follow Him.

I was put in five in the dark in a corner of the formal living room right beside a real live honest to goodness spider for what felt like several minutes. It was hard to stay in that position, the hardwood hurt my knees, and my legs were already sore from position 2 in the bathroom.

I was so pissed at myself, because I knew it had been coming all day, and I just couldn't hold my tongue and be good.

When it was over, he came in, turned on the light, and allowed me to recover. He held me and told me it was over and that He loved me, and that it was ok now.

We watched a movie and then went to bed