cluttered and busy

I keep changing my mind.
The house is cluttered.
the house smells bad. I smell dog pee, the couch, the dogs in general, the trash cans, the dirty dishes, the turtle, the laundry, the bathroom, the toilet, and something in the bedroom smells bad but I can't find it.
My speech, no.. essay.. It's finished but I have to fix it, but I want to fix it with Master's help since He'll be reading it. I also have to hand-write it unless we can find someone reliable with a printer.
I need to pick out sexy clothing :
I need 1) "hot wear" 2)military outfit 3) my outfit for my skit
I need to write my skit, and see if it's five minutes of material.
I need to find something to make my stomach not hurt and my head not fuzzy but we're almost out of pain pills, ibuprofin, tylenol, bleach, toilet paper. And I can't focus. I just can't think there's too much going on. I need something to make everything slow down so I can focus.
I need to study the leatherfet webpage and see what basic stuff I need to know to be able to even nearly compete. I need to have fluffy, patsy, lovey dovey answers for everything.
I need to wash dishes, they smell bad and I want Daddy to have a nice dinner and I want Daddy to not have to wait for food every day.
I need to know if Daddy is going straight from work tomorrow to the event. If He is, then I hve to have everything ready tonight before He gets home.


I don't know if I can do all this. Any of this. I'm so overwhelmed, and I know it's my own fault, but I was so excited and nervous and scared and I keep getting so angry.  My emotions keep getting out of hand. I feel like I have no control over my brain, and I've already fucked up once, I don't want to mess up again. But I feel so violent when something upsets me. it's like I'm standing there in my head watching the insanity and I'm like WFT and then there's this huge wave and I'm angry too.