the sex last night (PS lol)

It was SO good. He just rolled over while I was playing with myself and my toy, and kind of propositioned me, but there weren't condoms in the room... and He went and got them for me! He didn't make me get dressed and go get them, and I couldn't believe it. I thought that after so much stuff and all the shit we've been through lately, He'd say if I wasn't willing to put in the effort, He'd just jack off and not fuck me- But He went and got the condoms! and then He kind of spooned me but I was turned toward Him with my upper body, and He played with me and rubbed me and it was a slow, deep hard fuck. It was amazing. It lasted for probably an HOUR. I was so out of my mind enjoying it, too. and it was warm and I was being touched and loved and He didn't want anything from me except to watch my face, and He kept telling me how beautiful I am... It's so weird, (I'm crying now for no reason!) I never usually want that, and I didn't want that. I didn't ask for it, I didn't say I felt unwanted or ugly or anything- I didn't feel those things! But He made me feel beautiful, which is something that I don't really ask for anyway, or want often or... GRRR! I'm not explaining what I mean. I mean that I didn't know that I needed what He gave me. I didn't know that I was capable of accepting it. I didn't think that it would turn me on, or open me up in the way that it did. I really needed it, and it's helped me feel better about myself.