punISHment

an emphasis on the "-ish" because it was given, and then withdrawn.  at least part of it.


We went to the bathroom, because I wanted to ask Him (at 4 or 5 in the morning) if we were going to have sex after all or not. I had "given" Him my sex card 12 hours before, and said I wanted sex then, but He told me I had to wait, that He would "tonight" . Of course, after all the playing and movie watching and charades and pictionary and fun and playing and some other stuff too, it was late and everyone was hungry, so I was nominated to make pancakes. So anyway, He said if we didn't go to have sex right then (which I was quick to point out wasn't an option, because I was nominated to make pancakes) that I wouldn't get sex.

I could deal with that. but Jessi wanted to play. I at least wanted to make sure that if I didn't get laid, and I didn't get played with, Jessi would at the very least get played with. I know she's been having a rough couple of weeks with her mom, and scening can take away a lot of stress.

On top of that, there was some other stuff going on between Master and I that pissed me off and I don't really remember them right now, (Actually I think I'm starting to remember, because He's pretty much being a constant remind of things that piss me off, and He's doing it on purpose) but when I went into the kitchen (to get this over with as quickly as possible, make pancakes and gtfo) I found that the pans I'd already washed twice, we both in the sink again. I bitched. He said it was a stupid thing to be upset over and left the room. I bitched some more. He came back into the room (As I'm washing one of the pans) and said, "Five. I'll do it myself. Get the fuck out of My way."  I just let go of what I was doing and went into position, not turning off the water, rinsing my hands or any of that. I slipped on the way down, and it scared me, but I was so pissed off I don't think I made a sound. (where was I? Jessi was popping her knuckles and I got distracted. Hmm...) I could smell the dog piss on the floor, and when I stood up the smell was still on my hair, too. I determined that He wouldn't break me. I would do what I had to, get a shower, and go to bed. He left me in that position until He was walking away after washing the pans. What He didn't realize was that He also got the rest of the small plates, and both of the spatulas dirty as well. (So basically every utensil I needed to make pancakes) I started to get what I needed to get in get done get out, and He got in my way and wanted to talk about my attitude. Whatever. We argued back and forth, and He reminded me of my place multiple times. I hadn't disobeyed anything. He said I should be obeying the heart of the law and not the letter of it. I didn't see the point/importance/correlation. We're arguing, why should I pretend to be overly eager to obey when I didn't want to? It should be worth more that I loathe having to listen to what He says and am still doing it, that for Him to think that I'm hanging on His every fucking command and be lied to. He said I was obeying just to spite Him. He told me that I was acting as if He'd mistreated me, and I had no right to... blah blah blah. I have no clue how that sentence ended, and I really didn't agree with anything He said anyway. I just wanted Him to get out of my way and let me cook so I could be done with my duties and go to bed.

After some time of this, He told me I wasn't allowed to talk for the rest of the night. My initial impulse was to say, "Yes Sir." I caught myself, because I knew He'd think I was doing it to piss Him off, which I wasn't. It was a direct order, and that's how I'm supposed to respond. He told me originally not to talk for the rest of the night, and then after a bit said that after He went to bed I could talk. That pissed me off even worse, it seemed like that defeated the point of the punishment if I was going to be making pancakes by myself in the kitchen, taking a shower directly after, and He would be in bed before I even got out of the shower, then He wasn't actually punishing me, because I wasn't around anyone to talk to in the first place. It made the restriction punishment useless/obsolete.

He kept asking me questions, and telling me I could talk about X because He needed information from me. So when major started talking to us from the living room, and He wanted major to come into the kitchen, He lifted the speaking ban.I acted nice and happy and cheerful or whatever, because what was between Master and I needed to stay that way.

So I made Him eat a pancake because I was worried about Him after we were fighting and He said He wasn't eating anything. I ate one, too. Even though I was angry, I was in fact hungry even if I didn't want to admit it.

He forgot randomly what He was mad at me for sometime in there, too. I was so pissed, and I didn't know how to tell Him that He was doing what He was supposed to as my Master, so yes, but no I didn't think it was fair because I was just as pissed off as He was. So He completely removed the punishment, because He had second guessed Himself and wasn't feeling right in His head.

We talked while I was in the shower, and I told Him my opinions and thoughts on the punishment, and He went to the room as I was getting out of the shower.

He had made the bed, gave me an extra blanket (it's been so cold lately) and laid my softies on the pillow all together.

He told me that was Him being a good husband to me, and that He should always act like that, even when he was mad at me. I told Him I hoped He still felt that way after He stopped feeling "different in His head"

--------------------------------------
He interrupted my blogging this morning by asking me to go make pancakes. He told me I could wait until after I blogged, but I wanted to make sure He ate before He left so I went ahead and did it. I made pancakes (after washing everything I needed, before I started cooking this time) and fixed them the way He likes them, and made coffee, too. I snagged a pancake while I was cooking, and it was nommy with butter and salt, like a flat biscuit. I brought the syrup and plate and coffee in, and presented it to Him. He told me I was a good girl, and to get a treat. I was still pissed off, and I was so confused by it. I got the treat, put it in my pocket and started washing dishes (I was waiting on my water to boil for my tea [I made Jessi some, too.]). He came in and talked to me about it (I'd started crying) and said I was good because I didn't have to present it to Him, but I did, even though I was angry. He said He felt the same (confused) as I did, because it was hard for Him to tell me I was good when He was pissed at me, but that it was the right thing to do as my Master. I was determined to stay pissed off, but the anger has faded, and I don't really know if I'm angry now.

I expected Him to do something this morning to me. to punish me. When I woke up before Him, I was planning on going into the kitchen and bleaching the floor. That's why I'm wearing a white shirt today, and jeans I can get stuff on. I didn't because I ended up having to walk the dogs, and then people were in the bathroom, and stuff like that. Also, I didn't want to while He was awake, because I was afraid He'd do it on purpose to punish me again.



Major's penis is named wrath! (7 deadly sins) "Feel my wrath!"


Jessi and I are going to go pick up applications around town for a few hours, so I have to go now.