AM session

After reading my blog during breakfast this morning, Master needed to get off. He had me sit on the other side of the bed, facing away from Him until He had need of me. He doesn't like me to see what He masturbates to. He pulled me over and fingered my ass while I sucked on Him, and then made me choke on it on purpose several times. He sent me again to the other side of the bed to sit and wait. He called me a whore, and then pushed me down to catch His cum. He made me hold it in my mouth with my head turned away until He turned off the pc. He had me show Him that I had caught it, and then lift my tongue so He could see better. Then He allowed me to close my mouth and after a few long seconds, allowed me to swallow. He asked if it tasted worse this time, and I told Him it didn't.

He can't wait to tell major that I'm "starting to be a freak with that stuff. She wants Me to cum in her grits... Literally. And then eat it."

I was a bit blah at first, and then remembered what He's using me for, and I feel so proud to be able to hold His cum. to take it, and make sure it doesn't go to waste.

It was a good morning until He was almost late.

He wasn't late, so it's still an ok day.

Need list

Trash bags
Toilet Paper
Pine Sol (floor soap)
Prizes for costume contest

May 31

Today
Plan outfit for the party
Make needs list for the party

Wash load of laundry

Wash load of laundry

Wash load of laundry

Wash load of laundry
Teach Jessi how to Fold Clothing

Fold Clothing (Some)

Do a general once over of the basement, with a notebook to list what needs to be done.

Bring all blankets upstairs (Basement) to be washed

Fill out applications (PRIORITY)

dust cobwebs (FLR)
check if windows need washing (FLR)
put away any food/other (Kitchen)

Sweep carport 

throw away trash (Kitchen)

wipe down fridge  (Kitchen)

Wipe up dog blood from shower/cabinets/outside of tub (Bathroom)

Mop (Hallway)

Sweep Hall when dry

Sweep/Mop (Kitchen)

Sweep/Mop (LR)

Wash/Put Away Dishes
bleach chair, move to FLR
keep dishes washed as they are used

Wash couch cushion covers

move cushions to FLR 

 take out trash

online job applications
This Week 

Trash to dump (Don't forget lasagna/pizza sauce in fridge; trash in house) $2 + gas

Mop/Sweep (all areas)
Kill Bugs (Basement)
Sweep thoroughly (Basement)

Clean up bookshelves

clean up desk

sweep/mop as needed (FLR)
clean microwave thoroughly
Blankets folded and put into the blanket closet, sorted by what can be used downstairs. 
Wipe out bathroom sinks
Keep mop thoroughly clean, let drain in sink, move to beside toilet

scrub toilet

Sweep steps to dungeon

sweep cobwebs outside dungeon door

Laundry into bathroom (bedroom)

Sheets and blankets changed and washed (Bedroom)

clothing put away (Bedroom)

sweep (Bedroom)

General Pickup (Bedroom)

Laundry into bathroom (bedroom)

Sheets and blankets changed and washed (Bedroom)

clothing put away (Bedroom)

sweep (Bedroom)

General Pickup (Bedroom)


Day Before the party:

Wash the couch in LR
Mop/Sweep upstairs thoroughly

Finish washing laundry
Sweep, as needed
Wipe counters (Kitchen)
put away dishes
finish dishes, if needed
put away any food/other (Kitchen)

throw away trash (Kitchen)
take out trash

Day of the Party  
Mop/Sweep, as needed
Last minute clean-up (LR)
Last minute clean-up (Bathroom)
Put up decorations  (Ginger is bringing)

Basement 
Sweep thoroughly
Sweep, as needed


Living Room

Clean up bookshelves

clean up desk

bleach chair, move to FLR
Last minute clean-up

Formal Living Room
dust cobwebs
check if windows need washing
sweep/mop as needed


Kitchen
Wipe counters

put away dishes

finish dishes

put away any food/other

throw away trash

wipe down fridge
clean microwave thoroughly

Hallway
Blankets folded and put into the blanket closet, sorted by what can be used downstairs. 
Mop


Bathroom
Wipe up dog blood from shower/cabinets/outside of tub
Wipe down counters
Wipe out bathroom sinks
Keep mop thoroughly clean, let drain in sink, move to beside toilet
scrub toilet
wipe down mirror
clean broom thoroughly


Bedrooms

Laundry into bathroom

Sheets and blankets changed and washed

clothing put away

sweep

General Pickup

Laundry into bathroom

Sheets and blankets changed and washed

clothing put away

sweep

General Pickup

Outside
Day before:
Trash to dump (Don't forget lasagna/pizza sauce in fridge; trash in house) $2 + gas

Sweep carport

Sweep steps to dungeon
sweep cobwebs outside dungeon door


Other
Today:

Apply to WalMart

Send Master fetlife message about "my views as a KC leader" tackling tough issues like alcohol at parties, and meeting new people, and scening and safe words and stuff.

Pre-Party Checklist

Red - Emily
Dark Purple - Both subs
Purple - Jessi 
 
Blue - Master 
Black- anyone can do.  
Done
Fold towels

Sort through laundry pile in Jessi's room

Move clean laundry onto FLR couch.  

Write MNG, Rocky,Halloween e-mails for Group Leaders to send on fetlife 

Gather all laundry into bathroom

Fill out wal-mart application

 Pick up paints

throw away old canned drink

Wipe counters (Kitchen)

put away dishes

finish washing dishes

Mop/Sweep (Kitchen) 

Apply to Wal-Mart for Master Kyle

Wipe down counters (bathroom)

Today/This week:

Wash Clothing  (1,2,3,4,5,6,7)

Fold Clothing (Teach Jessi how to fold, too)
Do a general once over of the basement together, with a notebook to list what needs to be done.

Bring all blankets upstairs (Basement) to be washed (Please, subs are afraid of bugs in blankets)

Fill out wal-mart application 

dust cobwebs (FLR)
check if windows need washing (FLR)
put away any food/other (Kitchen)

throw away trash (Kitchen)
wipe down fridge  
Wipe up dog blood from shower/cabinets/outside of tub (Bathroom)


This Week 
Mop/Sweep in general
keep dishes washed as they are used

Sweep thoroughly (Basement)

Clean up bookshelves

clean up desk

bleach chair, move to FLR
sweep/mop as needed (FLR)
clean microwave thoroughly
Blankets folded and put into the blanket closet, sorted by what can be used downstairs. 
Wipe out bathroom sinks
Keep mop thoroughly clean, let drain in sink, move to beside toilet

scrub toilet

Trash to dump (Don't forget lasagna/pizza sauce in fridge; trash in house) $2 + gas
Sweep carport
Sweep steps to dungeon

sweep cobwebs outside dungeon door

Laundry into bathroom (bedroom)

Sheets and blankets changed and washed (Bedroom)

clothing put away (Bedroom)

sweep (Bedroom)

General Pickup (Bedroom)

Laundry into bathroom (bedroom)

Sheets and blankets changed and washed (Bedroom)

clothing put away (Bedroom)

sweep (Bedroom)

General Pickup (Bedroom)
Wash couch cushions, move cushions to FLR


Day Before the party:

Wash the couch in LR
Mop/Sweep upstairs thoroughly

Finish washing laundry
Sweep, as needed
Wipe counters (Kitchen)
put away dishes
finish dishes, if needed
put away any food/other (Kitchen)

throw away trash (Kitchen)
take out trash

Day of the Party  
Mop/Sweep, as needed
Last minute clean-up (LR)
wipe down mirror

 
Basement 
Sweep thoroughly
Sweep, as needed

Living Room

Clean up bookshelves

clean up desk

bleach chair, move to FLR
Last minute clean-up
Formal Living Room
Pick up paints
dust cobwebs
check if windows need washing
throw away old canned drink
sweep/mop as needed




Kitchen
Wipe counters
put away dishes
finish dishes
put away any food/other
throw away trash
wipe down fridge
clean microwave thoroughly

Hallway
Blankets folded and put into the blanket closet, sorted by what can be used downstairs. 


Bathroom
Wipe up dog blood from shower/cabinets/outside of tub
Wipe down counters
Wipe out bathroom sinks
Keep mop thoroughly clean, let drain in sink, move to beside toilet
scrub toilet
wipe down mirror



Bedrooms

Laundry into bathroom

Sheets and blankets changed and washed

clothing put away
sweep personal bedroom
General Pickup


Outside
Day before:
Trash to dump (Don't forget lasagna/pizza sauce in fridge; trash in house) $2 + gas
Sweep carport
Sweep steps to dungeon
sweep cobwebs outside dungeon door


Other
Today:
Write MNG, Rocky,Halloween e-mails for Group Leaders to send on fetlife and Cans for the food drive.
Apply to WalMart
Send Master fetlife message about "my views as a KC leader" tackling tough issues like alcohol at parties, and meeting new people, and scening and safe words and stuff.
Post a Message about I Heart it in the Can on the group page with links to info

Reminder in cookie cutter emails to bring a canned item if participating

Post a carpooling thread on fetlife.

http://kcatawbanc.blogspot.com

Anal and amazing.

When we went to the grocery store, He told me to hold His hand because He didn't feel well. A few minutes later, Jessi pointed out that He had a mark on His face. He went to the bathroom to wash it off, and I forgot He wasn't feeling well. I knew (a little voice said not to move, but I couldn't remember why, so I ignored it) I should have stayed there and waited on Him, but instead I told Jessi we'd go ahead and get dog food. When we came back to start picking up groceries, He walked by as if He didn't even see us. I told Jessi to take the cart (I thought she would follow me, but she didn't) and I ran after Him. When I touched His shoulder, He jumped, and then His face went blank. Knowing what was coming, I led Him to the shoe section (The only place in the store to sit down was luckily right next to us) and I had Him sit down. He had a seizure, but since I was there, we were able to manage. I rubbed His head, and kept Him breathing, and once He was conscious again, I asked if He would be able to get horny so that we could make it through the grocery shopping (I told Him it'd be 10 minutes)  and then I'd help Him more once we got home. He seemed to be trying, but was still having trouble thinking clearly and such, so I rubbed Him some (yes, in the grocery store) and promised Him a blowjob in the shower (It was hot out, and He'd been wanting a cool shower, so this would play into His fantasy). That still wasn't bringing Him back, so I told Him I'd let Him fuck me in the ass when we got home. He asked "really?" and I told Him "I'm Your property, I belong to You, You can do whatever You want to me." He perked up almost immediately, and put His arm around me. I mentioned that He was making me horny too, because His hand was right beside my ass. He moved His hand and rubbed me briefly through my pants and then moved my clothing and actually stuck His hand down my pants and toward my asshole. I asked Him to "please stop, we're in wal-mart!" but He persisted and pushed one finger up my ass anyway. "Please, You're embarrassing me!" He hooked His finger and tugged on my asshole, "I can do what I want with you, you're My property, remember? I own you and if I want to finger you, ass or otherwise, I will, regardless of where we are." I moaned (very quietly) when He said that into my ear, and after just a minute, He stopped fingering me. Almost right after He pulled His hand out of my pants, Jessi walked by, looking for us. We hurried after her and finished shopping.

Then He sent me into the shower and told me I was going to suck Him off, and then He was going to fuck me in the ass.

Finish this later, when we take a break/get finished with what we're doing.

Later:

He sent me to the shower, and told Jessi TMI for her taste (even though she reads my blog and knows what’s happening anyway). He told me He was going to fuck me in the ass, and also make me suck His cock. I said, “I hope not in that order” and He laughed and agreed with me. I washed my hair before He got into the shower, and I was hoping to be able to play with the toy I took into the shower with me (the plug) so that anal wouldn’t hurt as much as I thought it was going to. He told me to turn the heat down and then move so He could get into the shower, and I did. He washed, and after a bit, we ended up playing with the shaving cream; He sprayed it on my stomach. I put “cum” in His hair, and then He grabbed my mouth with shaving cream on His hands and made me hold it in my mouth for a minute before letting me rinse it out. It wasn’t as bad as shampoo. He let me rinse my face and mouth out. After, He made me get down on my knees and suck His cock to show Him how sorry I was. I did, and He told me I should be able to taste the old spice soap He’d just used on it. I couldn’t taste it, but I could smell it, and I liked the smell. After a minute, He started washing His hair, and I could see the soap running down His stomach. I hoped none of it got into my mouth, and I looked up while sucking and saw that He was leaning way back, hoping that it wouldn’t run down His front. 

My mind is blank for a few minutes, and then He made me finger His ass while I was sucking His cock, choking me when I didn’t want to do it, and whined over His dick. 

This may have been before or after the previous sentence, but ..

He made me try to put the toy up my ass, while Sucking Him off, and He told me that I could either put the toy in my ass and suck His dick, or take His dick up my ass and suck on the toy. I couldn’t make up my mind, even after being slapped, so He decided the toy would have to go up my ass, because He wasn’t done getting His dick sucked quite yet.  I tried and tried (With much forced gagging) to get the toy into my ass, but I needed to sit on it, and to sit on it I needed to be lower that I could get while sucking His dick, and so the toy just wouldn’t go into my ass. After about 3-5 minutes, He gave up and we went on to something new. I whined and begged because I was scared, and didn’t want Him to fuck my ass yet.

I think He fingered my ass before He fucking it… Having a hard time remembering the order of things, but I know at one point, He put fingers into my ass and stretched it open, and apart, even to the point of picking me up by my ass with His fingers.

He also drowned me under the shower, and then let me cough for a minute or two. (That was while He was fucking me vaginally) and fucked Susy in the pussy for a WHILE. She really liked it. I remember thinking I could hear the water squishing in my pussy when He fucked me.  (He told me to “Let me fuck you. Hold still. Don’t tell me no.”)

I screamed a lot.

At some point, (I think when we switch from vaginal to anal) He turned me away from the water and facing the far wall. He told me not to move when He put it in my ass. I screamed like such a bitch, but I think I took it OK.  He fucking my ass for a long time in the shower, and I heard water sloshing then, too. He stopped fucking me (rather suddenly as I remember) and then took the glass plug and put it up my ass. (I screamed then, too.) and He told me to hold it there. I did, and then He rinsed me off (?) and then took it from me and started fucking me with it. It felt so good when he did that. The anal had started to hurt, but hen He  used the toy it felt amazing. Then He started to use it deeper and farther out, but then He slowed down, and I thought He was suggesting that I grab the toy again to hold it in while He do whatever He was doing.  He immediately slapped my ass and told me that I shouldn’t try to force Him to give me something I don’t deserve. He hit me several times, pulled out the toy, called me a bitch, and shoved His cock back into my ass, all while I was apologizing and trying to explain that I didn’t mean to try to make Him give me more play with the toy (He’d said I didn’t deserve it while He was doing it, and I was very grateful) I was trying to hold it in as I’d been instructed.

Another time, He hushed me for a short while, told me He didn’t want to hear me scream, and after, asked me some questions, and so I was un-hushed.
He made me get out of the shower, handed me the toy, and told me to dry off and go wait on the bed, with the toy in my ass. I started to dry off, and He told me to stop being so slow. I hurried to dry off, but I was afraid to dry my pussy, because I’d been bleeding the whole time (Day 1 of my period) so I guess I wasn’t fast enough for Him. I took the towel with me and rushed to the bedroom. He’d put down a towel between the bathroom and the bedroom, which I had not in any way imagined, and it saved me from stepping on the hall floor, which was dirty. When I went into the bedroom, the bed was made, and it made me horny all over again. It was the most romantic thing He could have done in that situation. I hurried to the bed, spread the towel out, and got into a modified Position Five after putting the toy in my ass. I had spread my legs, and laid my head all the way down on the bed, but was still in the basic five position with my ass up and my hands folded as if in parade rest (?). 

When He came into the room, I think I could hear His dick get hard all over again. He pulled the toy out of my ass, and put His cock into me deep. He told me to stay still and not make a sound (maybe?) and fucked me hard with my hands stuck between my back and his stomach. I really liked this part. 

He made me get onto my back, and I think this is the first time I've done it without complaining. He asked if I was ready, and put His dick into me without any pause or slowness to it at all. It just..  went into my ass. It didn't hurt. It was pretty neat. 

He fucked me and I came all over Him. I didn't know I had yet, but it was feeling really good, and I started begging and He said, "What are you saying please for? Do you want Me to let you keep coming on Me?" It was like my brain body went into overdrive and I started loving it even more, because it was so good. He kept fucking me like this for a while. I kept begging, and when He'd ask what I'd say I don't know, because I was afraid to ask for anything; it was so amazing I didn't want anything to change.

He started calling me whore, and it was like my body was made of fireworks. Then I asked why I was a whore, and He said, "Because this is the only thing you're good for, to be a sleeve for My cock, and a holder for My cum." I begged Him to let me hold His cum from now on... To "always cum inside me, even if I have to swallow it." He laughed at me (did that happen?) , and said He would try if that was what I really wanted. I said I did, and I promised, because I wanted to do it even if I changed my mind later. He said, "Well then will you take My cum in your ass right now, to seal the deal?" I jumped at the chance to hold His cum, and said yes as enthusiastically as if He'd asked to fuck me for an entire night. It hurt when He came inside me, because there was so much of it, and His cock stretched me again to cum. 

I don't remember when he pulled out. I miss a few minutes here, and He was lying at the foot of the bed.

I wanted to suck His cock so badly but was afraid to ask, because He'd been in my ass, and I was afraid it would turn Him off if  asked to clean His dick for Him. 

He told me to clean Him off, and I knew He was thinking the same thing I was. I talked a minute with Him to be sure though, and asked Him to "help" me do it. He said He'd prefer if I did this on my own, He wouldn't want to force me if I changed my mind. I agreed, and started sucking on His dick. It was the most amazing experience ever. It didn't taste bad (or really any different to be honest) at all and I loved sucking on Him. It was just what I needed, and it felt good to me. I straddled Him so He could watch my ass (He always likes that) and He fingered me a minute or two and then (it started to hurt I think, so) He stopped and just let me enjoy myself. I actually groaned a small complaint when he made me stop sucking on Him. Then I licked the places I'd missed to get them nice and clean. He made me stop that before I wanted to, too. 

He let me put Him boxers, PJs and socks on Him, and called me the best wife ever. I felt so proud and content and happy!

He wouldn't kiss me after that until I'd brushed my teeth (But we'd agreed before I went down the second time for that. atm.) and I did, and then ate a spoon of peanut butter to gross Him out. He guessed and wouldn't kiss me deeply right then. PB has a strong smell, lol. 

We made food, and watched Stoya Workaholic with Jessi. (Well, most of it, He and I got tired and had to go to bed before it ended, but Jessi finished it.)

Jessi worked really hard on the house today. Master worked hard at work and has a few extra hours to work tomorrow. He's been under a lot of stress lately, and has had 5-8 seizures this week, after about a month of not having any. Tonight was the first night Jessi had noticed when He had one. She didn't freak out though, and that was good. I got Him to bed, and rubbed His head until He fell asleep. He didn't want sex, and was a bit emotional and sad. I hate when that happens, because I hate to see Him upset like that. It kind of breaks me a bit. But I told Him a story and He slept easy after that.

Note to self: uninstall bit torrent.

Standing Orders

I am to keep my toys clean and ready for use at all times.

SEX!! Well, a blowjob anyway.

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new personality

he came out this morning, and talked to me a bit before Kyle woke up. he was hurting, so I brought him some pain pills, and rubbed his head, because that's what I always do for Master, and he seemed to be stuck with no one else around. I know how much it hurts Timmy to be stuck, in pain, and it would have broken my heart to leave my husband like that, no matter who was out.

mall and stuff

jessi and I went to the mall today. she bought me a sandwich, and I let her try a bite, and she really liked it. she ate chikfila and I ate subway, and next time she wants a olive, green pepper lettuce, american cheese, and bacon sandwich. we had a lot of fun at the mall, but were really worried that major would be worried about us, cuz we said it would take an hour, and then we went to eat, and then we looked at stuff at the mall too.... which made us be out an extra 90 minutes.

-------------

hold on helping jessi make a sex noise. 

-------------

I made major mad at me in the car. I cried when he wouldn't hug me when we left (we had to leave fast, we forgot that we had to pick up Daddy at 10 PM). And we ended up getting there 20 minutes early anyway, so I was a terrible judge of time. 

Daddy fixed it. I'm glad He did, I was so sad I had made major upset. (she cried like 4 times.)

I still want my birthday sex. 

Daddy had a bad headache all day... I'm glad He's feeling so much better now. He was sad earlier.

I was out from the time we woke up until we dropped Master off at work today. Apparently I don't make coffee as well as everyone else ;) I was a bit scattered, and my throat made my voice sound a lot like Emily's. I really had a good time today, and the tea was very good, it made my stomach feel much better. Thanks. Love!

Jessi listened really good today, and got herself 2 thongs and bought me two bras (she said it was an emergency because they were on sale) and it was $11 about for all of it. She had a few problems, but quickly pulled herself together after some cuddles, and I was very proud of her.

Permission not to blog today

received permission not to blog today.

tomorrow is the 27th. Danny's been half/out a lot lately, which has really made me look a lot like a bitch. maybe since it's his day, he'll show up. It'd be nice, as Danny really hasn't been out lately at all. I mean, it's not really a "it would be nice" kind of feeling, but it does feel weird when he's not out for a really long time. I keep getting the sadistic urges and it's frustrating to handle it as a masochist. With Danny around, I can get back to being myself, and getting some erotica or DP poetry done.

So our meet and greet had no one show up today, and that kind of sucked. a member of a group of people who hate us showed up just as we were leaving, and her kids were with her. Master waved hi, but didn't approach.

major's mom made the best food ever. and we had salad, too. and rolls. I've really missed butter.

He spoke with Jessi this morning, and after that it seemed like she perked up a little.

she was the only one who didn't finish her food at dinner. I had 2 servings of salad, and dinner. Daddy got 2 servings of the potatoes and ham and cheese.  and jessi didn't get 2nds of anything, and didn't eat the ham or tomatoes and her plate was still half-full when everyone else was finally done. At the beginning of the meal, she made a point to say that she was really hungry, but she ate the least of anyone there.

He asked me to get her the chicken/fries from last night for her to eat, but I asked if it could wait a few minutes, and since then He hasn't told me to go get it, so I didn't, but I'm really worried about Jessi actually eating when she's hungry. she had a nutella sandwich and some popcorn earlier, and everyone else had 2 servings of oatmeal each for breakfast.

I lost control of my temper today over Him not noticing that Vicki was out, and then hit majors car with my hand because he moved it when I was trying to get in. I got stuck in Five outside beside his car because of it. I think it was because He complimented my appearance but didn't notice that Vicki was out, which pissed me off really badly.  I wanted to ask for rule 3 to be disbanded because I didn't feel like He appreciated the effort I put into my appearance.

Soooo I was all set and ready to clean, but major set up a meet and greet for our next party already. and it was today! and Daddy worked today! so major came and picked us up from His work (it's closer than our house) and we went there. Jessi kept wanting to stop and get drink/food before and during the MNG. After, when we were going to get food, she decided she didn't want food. It took a while (prolly around an hour) to get her to eat.


Daddy was really upset. He said this was her first opportunity to show Him that she could behave without Him around, and she didn't.

The meet and greet was fun. There was a lesbian named ashley. she's a friend of ginger's from work. she said I was her type, it made me happy. then again, she also asked my age, because she didn't think I was old enough.

I told her I was married, and she said that didn't matter. I know a lot of people don't care, but I wouldn't, and it seems to me that if I say I'm not available because I'm married, they should respect it. End of story. but blah.

kk major is going to bed now, so i have to go.... night night.  11 PM

Stuff to pack today to keep on hand at all times.

1. Inhaler/other medicines that we need on a daily basis (Jessi: Daily meds Emily: allergy meds)
2. Overnight Bag
3. Implement for punishment. Paddle/cane/sharpy

 Overnight Bag

• Shirt, Bra, Panties, Jeans, Socks, pajamas
• 2 pr boxers, 2 prs socks, shirt, Jeans, pj pants, 
• toothbrush / paste
• phone charger / phone
• hairbrush
• collar/alternate in public collars
• make-up 

 Grocery List
Toilet Paper
 Butter
Sugar
Eggs
milk
pancake mix
rice
coffee
floor soap
dish soap
laundry soap
oatmeal


To Do Before we leave
Gather all dirty dishes
Wash dishes
Gather dirty laundry into bathroom
wash clothes
teach jessi to fold clothes
vaccuum couch
sweep/mop all floors except kitchen
feed dogs
 rewrite calendar
fix lawn mower
Jessi: call tire places and get quotes


Master says
30 people get messages about the meet n greet/preparty things
overnight bag/stuff to keep on hand has to be ready

big family talk.

Jessi (pretty light purple)

Monthly Budget

+$300 income a month
-$130 insurance
-$70   gas
------------------------

leaves $100 for other bills, groceries, etc.

Jessi is looking for a 2nd job. Note, took Master 6 months + to find one,
so Jessi should speak w/ her manager.


Both Girls

• Make an overnight bag, including meds, inhalers, change of clothes, punishment implements.
• NO excuses for not doing something as ordered. Do first, ask about alternate options later.

 Jessi

• NO questioning
• Deal with negative feelings. Don't use pain/negative feelings as a place to fall back on. 
• 
  

Emily

•  Attitude. 
• Discrete Public Punishment

Daddy

•  Allow Jessi to be more expressive about negative feelings "Get over it" or "Don't think about it"  "'Get over it' should translate to 'fix it.'"
•  

Private things stay private. Confidentiality.

Jessi Rules expectations needs etc

Protocol, orders, and rules, how I interpret them

Protocol:

I will address Him as "Sir" or "Master" when possible (not around parents, or within other "Vanilla" situations).

I will learn and, when ordered to, take on the following positions:

Position One: Standing up straight, feet positioned at a 40-degree angle. Arms firmly at my sides, thumbs inward, pointed down. I may answer questions or respond to my Master (when appropriate) in this position.

Position Two: Sitting on knees, hands folded in lap. Master calls this the "happy position"; I am allowed to speak and show emotion.

Position Three: On knees, hands behind back, head bowed slightly forward. "Listening position".
Modified Three: On knees, head bowed slightly forward, hands held out in front. "Offering position" (used when presenting something, such as food).

Position Four: Feet shoulder length apart, good posture, hands behind back, staring forward. No looking around, no facial expressions, no speaking.

Position Five: On knees, leaning forward, hands behind back, nose 1-inch from the ground. "Punishment Position".

I will not interrupt my Master when He is speaking.
I will thank my Master when appropriate and for punishments.
I will ask permission for any action that I am unsure about.
I will openly communicate with my Master, answer questions when asked, and not keep secrets.
When He is not present, I will obey Master's slave as I would obey Him. 

Specific Orders:

I will block Adam from contacting me, and in return, will not contact him or view his online profiles.
I will take my medications as prescribed.
I will eat when I am hungry, and only stop when my body is satisfied.


Rules:

1. I will not cut (or self-injure in any other fashion).
2. If I feel the need to self-injure, I will go to my Master and alert Him of these feelings.
3. Dress to kill; I will always look my best, both to please my Master and to better represent Him in and out of His presence.
4. I will remember my place in my Master's priorities. (God, wife, submissive, work, group, family...)

http://glass-shards-through-glass.blogspot.com/2011/04/basic-slave-rules.html


















My needs as a submissive, and as a friend:

1. Clearly defined rules and expectations. I can be sort of dense, and sometimes I need things to be spelled out for me.
2. Play-time! I wouldn't say that I "need" play on a regular basis (though I would love that), but I do need it sometimes. I've come to realize that not only do I enjoy it, but it's a great emotional release for me.
3. The ability to share things in confidence. I would never expect Master to keep anything from Emily, or vice-versa. I do hope that I can share things with both of you without having to worry about anyone else finding out, though. 
4. Time to focus on work and school...this Fall, it might be helpful to have scheduled study time.
5. Affection; plenty of hugs and cuddles.
6. Quality time together; watching movies, playing video games, talking, hanging out. (Of course, I understand that this is not always possible/sometimes you will both want time alone, or time together without me. But I'd like time with you, at least some days.)
7. To be loved.
 8. No Restrictions on family/friends

_____________________________________________

I wrote the new rules down before, but I want them altogether somewhere, so here.... we.... go! (Batman, the Joker)

1. I will not cut.
2. My Husband will be informed of my desire to cut as it occurs or increases.
3. I will take care of my body with proper hygiene, eating habits, and will also wear attractive clothing and make-up for my Husband.
4. I will use the title "Sir" appropriately when speaking to my Husband, but will replace "Sir" with "Baby" when in public.
5. I will show the proper respect to myself and my body in my words and actions. I am my Master's property and do not have the right to speak badly of something He treasures.
6. I will show the proper respect and deference to my Husband; He is my Master and deserves the best I have to offer.
7. I will walk with confidence in the knowledge that my Master loves me. I will not keep my head down, I will show pride in being His possession, especially when in public.
8. I will not hold back my feelings, emotions, or voice during sex or sexual play unless otherwise directed by my Husband.
9. I will use my safe word, stairwell, the return word being ladderwell, when I have need to.
10. While wearing my collar, I will obey my Husband's commands as if each were my own thoughts. I will put on my collar (or other token of submission) in the morning when I wake up, and will not take it off until I go to bed at night, take a shower, or are otherwise directed to do so by my Master.
11. I will blog daily. If I am in a situation where I cannot blog, I will ask permission not to blog from my Master, so that He knows I am thinking of my responsibilities.

We have been discussing changing my 3-strike policy end punishment. Currently, I am punished for each mark I receive on my hand, and then  when I get three, I am punished for that mark according to Master's wishes, and then the 3-mark overall punishment is anal. I suggested it to Him (and he seemed to like the idea) that instead of doing anal, since it's not as much of a punishment as it used to be (I'm getting better at being able to take it) that needle-play would be a more appropriate punishment since I'm so scared of it. It would make me dread fucking up, and I would try harder to please my Master. He hasn't changed it yet, but He was considering it at one time, and we never really came to a specific decision on it.

____________________________________________________________

Needs and Expectations: Master

Master's Needs of His submissives

• I need a way to punish My masochistic submissives
• I need My submissives to be respectful 
• I need My submissives to obey without question, even if Timmy is giving the orders.
• I need My submissives to make a conscious effort to please Me. 
• I need My submissives to dress to impress Me.
• I need My submissives to keep track of My Wallet, Phone, Keys, Hat and Coat
• I need My submissives to never embarrass Me in public.
• I want to go out and socialize a lot. I don't want to drive, and I won't want to go home.
• I want My submissives to come to Me for advice or with problems that they have
• I want to spend money on My submissives. Tell Me if there is something you like/want
• Do Not make Me feel inferior or stupid, even if it's math.
• I want sincere feedback or even criticism after scening
• I need My submissives to do what I ask, even though it is difficult
• Epileptic. No big deal.
• Keep the damn house clean! (Added by Susy)
• I have scening needs. If I need to scene, not a big deal since there's two to choose from. :)

Goals

• Speak more respectfully to My submissives
• Give them more credit when they do good stuff!
  

____________________________________________________________________

Needs and Expectations: Jessi

• Trustworthy scening partner
• Someone I can trust to make decisions (a Everyday (b Emotional Attachments (c advice about scening partners (d intervention while scening if needed
• Financial : Jessi needs to make a list here.  (Thongs... need size and desired style)
• Frequency of Scenes: At least 2 times a month, at the very minimum.
• Someone who will give advice about life issues that I have.

Jessi's Needs of Emily

• fellow submissive to talk to
• Role Model. Someone to watch to see what I should be doing.
• Occasional reminders about things I should be doing.

Jessi's Goals

• Learn Positions
• Memorize Rules
• Input on a budget to avoid going broke
• Learn to negotiate scenes without help
• Learn to use my safeword when i need it.
• Learn to be more polite/respectful while speaking. 

 Links to show time period this was pulled from.

http://handcuffedwriter.blogspot.com/2010/11/needs-and-expectations-jake.html?zx=8e33978a25d70702
http://glass-shards-through-glass.blogspot.com/2011/05/protocol-orders-and-rules-how-i.html
http://glass-shards-through-glass.blogspot.com/2011/04/basic-slave-rules.html

Look up Gor/Gorean female positions/ training.

Jessi's Rules

Jessi's Rules

May 24 2011

I trust that my Master will balance His needs, my needs, and the needs of His other sub/s accordingly.

i must be both specific and explicit in my speech.

(my speech must be consice and to the point, not withholding information, or lying.)

i shall wear the collar my Master gives me with pride for it signifies His ownership of me and my devotion to Him.

i will learn all the positions my Master wants to teach me to the best of my abilities and will be prepared to take such positions when required and to display myself in a manner through them that He, and others who may be present, will find most pleasing.

 (i will learn my positions the way I am taught, and will submit to these positions without question upon request of my Master.)

The safeword given to me by my Master can be spoken at any time-even when i have been told to be silent. If i am not able to verbalize it - i trust my Master will show me how i can express it. Safewords are for my protection as well as His. i must be careful not to take more than i can handle, as He will need to know when to stop from getting carried away with His own passions - so that i may be prepared over time to endure more for Him.

(i will use my safeword when necessary and will use nonverbal gestures when unable to speak. My safeword is "red," my cautionary word is "yellow.")

i shall never think of myself as a weak person for it takes a strong female to commit to the drive inside me, to serve, to obey and to please a Master. i too have responsibilities and as natural as they may seem to me it is important that i use all of my faculties including my creative spirit to submit to a Master in a unique fashion personal to my relationship with Him. By doing so i hope to provide a good example to those females around me who may still be learning so they too are not led astray from their primary focus, that they are as true to their nature as i strive to continue to be to mine. i must remember that how i well i behave enlightens and empowers me to become even closer to who i am - a devoted slave, of good rapport to a Master who truly understands my needs in relationship to His own.

I will show the proper respect to myself and my body in my words and actions. I am my Master's property and do not have the right to speak badly of something He treasures.

i will suggest ways to further my training or use of me, verbally or through my journal. ---Blogging rule--- I will blog daily. If I am in a situation where I cannot blog, I will ask permission not to blog from my Master, so that He knows I am thinking of my responsibilities.

Eating properly rule

i will periodically examine my whole life and look for how it has changed as a result of my relationship to my Master. i will speak to my Master about those areas where there have been improvements and those areas where i feel uncomfortable, insecure, or unsure of what direction i should take, how i should behave, or how i can behave in a manner that is different than how i have been behaving in the past.

2 month notice on when i will be leaving the household. No uncollaring self, or immediately. Also, what that long thing above this text says.

Above all else my primary focus shall be to please my Master,hoping that He finds me pleasing in all that I do, whether i am in His presence or not. my Master knows of my potential, learning more about me in each day i am with Him. He trusts that i will act in accordance with what He perceives of my potential - He knows what is best for me and how important it is that i set a good example for other females who may be present around me.

i will not hesitate when responding to my Master and will respond both verbally and physically  (Jakes rules)

i choose willingly to be treated as my Master's property - as long as such treatment is safe.

i will not date without permission and approval from my Master.

previous relationships are not under consideration but, all future relationships, must be approved by Master.  Friend requests on fetlife, must ask Master to accept.

my safeword, verbal or otherwise, cannot be used when i am being punished. Can be used, and is at Master's discretion.

i must never be concerned when i feel too much of my flesh is showing, in private or in the general public - however, i can ask my Master for permission as to how to handle my discomfort.

The only clothing i will buy and wear will be those items which my Master would find pleasing to Him: fitting to my figure and its assets, of good quality, of reasonable cost, and appropriate in His eyes and taste for the occasions i am allowed to attend with or without Him. i may ask if i may choose what to wear so i may be able take an opportunity to surprise Him to win His favor.

Rules:

1. I will not cut (or self-injure in any other fashion).
2. If I feel the need to self-injure, I will go to my Master and alert Him of these feelings.
3. Dress to kill; I will always look my best, both to please my Master and to better represent Him in and out of His presence.

4. I will remember my place in my Master's priorities. (God, wife, submissive, work, group, family...)

http://glass-shards-through-glass.blogspot.com/2011/04/basic-slave-rules.html

What are your rules?

"i have much to learn in order to become a well-trained and well-behaved submissive." (Callback)

Goodbye cruel world!

See ya in 20 minutes.

:)

I'm thinking about just disappearing into my head for a while. Danny hasn't had a chance to play in a pretty long time, and I need some serious "I don't exist" time. Just to kind of let go of what's going on and feel the ocean roar in my mind.

I want pain, but not from someone else.

mom wants "a maid for her birthday"


she wants me to come over and clean her house as her birthday present. and her birthday isn't even until june. 2 weeks. and she told me this right before she gave me my present.

Jessi has gone to bed, and I don't know what I'm doing, but they keep getting mad at me and shooting me down. I'm not trying to get Him to take me home, I'm not! I wasn't even hinting at it, I've accepted and have no problem with us staying here! I was just hoping He would cuddle/snuggle comfort me. and then major was all mean and said it like I was trying to make us go home. I didn't! I wanted Him to say, "well maybe we'll just have to have sex here" or something.  and I wanted Him to tell me that the dogs will be alright on my own and I don't need to worry. and that I get to pick what we do tomorrow, not be sheeped around to whatever everyone else wants to do for my birthday!

my belly hurts.

I hate that He was all "happy birthday!" and then just decided to ignore me, it hurts me so bad. If it's my special day, why isn't it special?

The only thing I can remember about my last birthday was that my Nana didn't even remember to call me, because she was in VA visiting people. My Nana is always the one who makes my birthdays special, and... and I guess I should just get used to being a submissive and stop bitching already.




--------------
I wanted to be played with, I wanted to be pampered and played with and tied down and tortured and called names and loved and damn it I want fucking ice cream. and chili from wendy's and salt and vinegar lays.

but what I'd be happy with would be getting the car and the dog taken care of, and knowing that we have enough food to even survive the rest of the fucking month. and my first thought when I got my boots was that they were worth $40 and I could take them back and then I realized that it wouldn't even matter, it would maybe pay for gas until payday, but not food, and ... and we have to keep His job to survive, but we have to eat too.

i feel so fucking weak when I cry.

the last time his cock saw a pussy was when the cat snuck in the bathroom while he was taking a piss

tomorrow is my birthday. today I went to church with jessi, and my mom gave me my boots I asked for (she said I couldn't open them til tomorrow but Daddy said to put them on now, so I did.)

My Nana gave me a shirt, 3 pairs of socks and a hat. It made me realize how much she's considering me older, now. It used to take hours to open my presents from her.

I've been trying my damndest to be happy and cheerful all day, but the fact that no one is reciprocating that is really wearing me down. it feels like it's not even worth it to be happy if no one else can share in it.

"she'll be back"

And I am now.

pretty big argument, and I need to finish my other post, as well.

I've been so tired and grumpy all day, but I feel much better now. Master called in sick to work, cuz He felt like crap too.

We've talked about what was going on between us (neither of us have been feeling up to par the past few weeks) and what we need from each other. For each other to work on to help the other.

He scened with Jessi last night, and tried to get me to help out but I wasn't able to handle it. He ended up sending me to my room. I wasn't able to, cuz I kept wishing He was playing with me. Even though I wouldn't have been into it if we had, because we were fighting so much.

I visited my Papa yesterday, He's been in the hospital. He didn't move while I was there. He can't breathe on His own yet, they're going to take him off the ventilator sometime this week if nothing else messes things up. He's able to breathe on his own a little. He has to pass a test before they'll let him off it. and the feeding tube.

After that, we visited my other grandfather, it was his birthday the day before. my grandmother fed us a bunch, and gave us some ravioli for Master.


I love You Master.

I've said I'll try to obey with less attitude and He's going to try to be more specific with His expectations of me.

Like cats and dogs. raining or fighting?

Day before yesterday we went to spend the night at MPs house. I ate an orange, and while they had our "family discussion" I was in Five because Susy wanted to eat chips and was told she couldn't. She had a pissed off look on her face, so Master put her in Five for not "fixing it". After He let her back up, He called Lauren. They didn't get along especially well either. He started playing with me and we were starting to enjoy it, and He fell asleep... Literally while playing.

I didn't sleep well, Jessi was in the same room as us, and noise seemed to carry. I didn't feel comfortable masturbating, and He had laid on one of the covers I was under, trapping it at an awkward and irritating place for me to sleep, much less rub.

We had to rush to the job the next morning, stopped to eat McDonald's on the way. Jessi paid for it, I think. Maybe we did.  I don't know. All I know is that I really liked the chicken sandwich I had, and wanted another one. Jada talked the whole way there.

I got new shoes, steel-toed ones. MP paid for them. Our lunch came out of our tab, though.

We worked enough to make $100 before she took out the pizza money. Each. Ours is going toward bills though.

I worked really hard cleaning, and stuff. It was a long day, and I was so tired. He fell asleep on the way home. We argued and fussed after the job was over and before He passed out. We argued at MP's house.

We ate dinner at the pancake house (it's open 24 hours) and we argued there, too. I about fell asleep in my grits (which weren't that good, btw, I wish I'd just kept my mouth shut so I could have had chili and fries.) Oh yeah, we fought when He waited an hour to take a shower after we got home, too. And about other stuff.

It was my grandpa's birthday, and I forgot.

-------------------
Today

I woke up, and Jessi had done a bunch of awesome stuff. She made pancakes,




She'll be back

Standing Orders

• I will not pick my lips. 
• "Hush" means stop talking, "Shut Up" means stop back-talking.
• I will not sleep at the foot of the bed.
• I will not bite my nails. 
• I will not chew more than two (pieces of) gums at once. 

I can't think of any more right now, but I wanted to list the ones I could think of. 

punISHment

an emphasis on the "-ish" because it was given, and then withdrawn.  at least part of it.


We went to the bathroom, because I wanted to ask Him (at 4 or 5 in the morning) if we were going to have sex after all or not. I had "given" Him my sex card 12 hours before, and said I wanted sex then, but He told me I had to wait, that He would "tonight" . Of course, after all the playing and movie watching and charades and pictionary and fun and playing and some other stuff too, it was late and everyone was hungry, so I was nominated to make pancakes. So anyway, He said if we didn't go to have sex right then (which I was quick to point out wasn't an option, because I was nominated to make pancakes) that I wouldn't get sex.

I could deal with that. but Jessi wanted to play. I at least wanted to make sure that if I didn't get laid, and I didn't get played with, Jessi would at the very least get played with. I know she's been having a rough couple of weeks with her mom, and scening can take away a lot of stress.

On top of that, there was some other stuff going on between Master and I that pissed me off and I don't really remember them right now, (Actually I think I'm starting to remember, because He's pretty much being a constant remind of things that piss me off, and He's doing it on purpose) but when I went into the kitchen (to get this over with as quickly as possible, make pancakes and gtfo) I found that the pans I'd already washed twice, we both in the sink again. I bitched. He said it was a stupid thing to be upset over and left the room. I bitched some more. He came back into the room (As I'm washing one of the pans) and said, "Five. I'll do it myself. Get the fuck out of My way."  I just let go of what I was doing and went into position, not turning off the water, rinsing my hands or any of that. I slipped on the way down, and it scared me, but I was so pissed off I don't think I made a sound. (where was I? Jessi was popping her knuckles and I got distracted. Hmm...) I could smell the dog piss on the floor, and when I stood up the smell was still on my hair, too. I determined that He wouldn't break me. I would do what I had to, get a shower, and go to bed. He left me in that position until He was walking away after washing the pans. What He didn't realize was that He also got the rest of the small plates, and both of the spatulas dirty as well. (So basically every utensil I needed to make pancakes) I started to get what I needed to get in get done get out, and He got in my way and wanted to talk about my attitude. Whatever. We argued back and forth, and He reminded me of my place multiple times. I hadn't disobeyed anything. He said I should be obeying the heart of the law and not the letter of it. I didn't see the point/importance/correlation. We're arguing, why should I pretend to be overly eager to obey when I didn't want to? It should be worth more that I loathe having to listen to what He says and am still doing it, that for Him to think that I'm hanging on His every fucking command and be lied to. He said I was obeying just to spite Him. He told me that I was acting as if He'd mistreated me, and I had no right to... blah blah blah. I have no clue how that sentence ended, and I really didn't agree with anything He said anyway. I just wanted Him to get out of my way and let me cook so I could be done with my duties and go to bed.

After some time of this, He told me I wasn't allowed to talk for the rest of the night. My initial impulse was to say, "Yes Sir." I caught myself, because I knew He'd think I was doing it to piss Him off, which I wasn't. It was a direct order, and that's how I'm supposed to respond. He told me originally not to talk for the rest of the night, and then after a bit said that after He went to bed I could talk. That pissed me off even worse, it seemed like that defeated the point of the punishment if I was going to be making pancakes by myself in the kitchen, taking a shower directly after, and He would be in bed before I even got out of the shower, then He wasn't actually punishing me, because I wasn't around anyone to talk to in the first place. It made the restriction punishment useless/obsolete.

He kept asking me questions, and telling me I could talk about X because He needed information from me. So when major started talking to us from the living room, and He wanted major to come into the kitchen, He lifted the speaking ban.I acted nice and happy and cheerful or whatever, because what was between Master and I needed to stay that way.

So I made Him eat a pancake because I was worried about Him after we were fighting and He said He wasn't eating anything. I ate one, too. Even though I was angry, I was in fact hungry even if I didn't want to admit it.

He forgot randomly what He was mad at me for sometime in there, too. I was so pissed, and I didn't know how to tell Him that He was doing what He was supposed to as my Master, so yes, but no I didn't think it was fair because I was just as pissed off as He was. So He completely removed the punishment, because He had second guessed Himself and wasn't feeling right in His head.

We talked while I was in the shower, and I told Him my opinions and thoughts on the punishment, and He went to the room as I was getting out of the shower.

He had made the bed, gave me an extra blanket (it's been so cold lately) and laid my softies on the pillow all together.

He told me that was Him being a good husband to me, and that He should always act like that, even when he was mad at me. I told Him I hoped He still felt that way after He stopped feeling "different in His head"

--------------------------------------
He interrupted my blogging this morning by asking me to go make pancakes. He told me I could wait until after I blogged, but I wanted to make sure He ate before He left so I went ahead and did it. I made pancakes (after washing everything I needed, before I started cooking this time) and fixed them the way He likes them, and made coffee, too. I snagged a pancake while I was cooking, and it was nommy with butter and salt, like a flat biscuit. I brought the syrup and plate and coffee in, and presented it to Him. He told me I was a good girl, and to get a treat. I was still pissed off, and I was so confused by it. I got the treat, put it in my pocket and started washing dishes (I was waiting on my water to boil for my tea [I made Jessi some, too.]). He came in and talked to me about it (I'd started crying) and said I was good because I didn't have to present it to Him, but I did, even though I was angry. He said He felt the same (confused) as I did, because it was hard for Him to tell me I was good when He was pissed at me, but that it was the right thing to do as my Master. I was determined to stay pissed off, but the anger has faded, and I don't really know if I'm angry now.

I expected Him to do something this morning to me. to punish me. When I woke up before Him, I was planning on going into the kitchen and bleaching the floor. That's why I'm wearing a white shirt today, and jeans I can get stuff on. I didn't because I ended up having to walk the dogs, and then people were in the bathroom, and stuff like that. Also, I didn't want to while He was awake, because I was afraid He'd do it on purpose to punish me again.



Major's penis is named wrath! (7 deadly sins) "Feel my wrath!"


Jessi and I are going to go pick up applications around town for a few hours, so I have to go now.