Mikkal raped me, not last night, but a few days ago. I loved it, it was intense, unexpected, and violent. I didn't have to play along, because I was part of it. I was afraid, I was in pain, I had no choice but to obey , and at any given point I could start crying. He showed no regret, no remorse, no pity. He enjoyed every second of it, and it was amazing.
He fucked my cunt and my ass. It hurt so bad, and I got slapped so many times. I was given commands, and sometimes I couldn't bring myself to obey.
He told me to whisper. "Daddy, I'm scared," and then "Daddy I'm so scared"
I said it the first time, and then he wanted me to whisper it. Then I didn't whisper all of it, I was crying, and He kept working on me until i could say what He wanted. It struck me, during this part, that He seemed almost like a serial killer, and once I said what He wanted and played through His fantasy, He would be done, through with me. It was hot, I hadn't ever felt this intense before. He held His hand over my face and wouldn't let me breathe if I didn't say it in a certain period of time. He said He didn't care if I cried, that it wouldn't help me, that He didn't want to see it.
It was an amazing experience. Being able to cry and not worry that He would stop was such a relief. I am so glad I got to do this, because I kept wanting more from all the previous experiences. This time, after He was done, I was satisfied, satiated, content. I absolutely loved it, and I fell asleep exhausted.
He had to switch condoms, because they were wearing me raw, and didn't give enough lube. I don't know why, I was enjoying myself, so I should have been wet, but I guess I wasn't. Then He went for my ass. By the time He was done with me, I was sore, tired, and done as well. I was too tired to get up and take another shower, so I did it the next morning. I laid on the bed and cry afterward, it was actually kind of therapeutic. I kind of (for a moment) wanted to lay there and just be that tired crying abused discarded girl. I didn't want to come back for a bit, but I was so tired... and I had to show Him I was alright.
I don't want this to be misunderstood. I loved this scene, this sex, this amazing hour of my life. But I don't think I'm going to want rape play for a while. I don't mean this as It was too much, because it wasn't It was perfect. It made me want to explore other things, because now I know that my Husband really is capable.. can be as sadistic as I need. I'm not afraid, I'm not overwhelmed, I'm just.. satisfied with this scenario for a while.
Thank You Master for understanding what I couldn't say myself.
The experience was so perfect I don't need more for a while, i'd hate to ruin the memory.
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