FOOD, A talk, a panic, a punishment, and a challenge.
I ate bunches and bunches of food last night!!!!
1 Sm Chili (w/ crackers)
1 Lrg fries (w/ sour cream)
1 Chix sandwich!!! :) om nom nom
1 side salad (with ranch dressing)
and a small frosty :D
I ate more than the boys (Major's mom bought us food, they had two sandwiches each and a large fry, which daddy didn't finish his) and my belly didn't swell none.
Also, Master put me in Position 5 for back-talking. The thing I was upset about, that triggered my attitude, was something that I had reason to talk to Him about, and He respected that. However, the way I went about it, and the attitude I showed was not acceptable, and so I deserved my punishment for that. I wanted to make sure Master knew that I accepted my punishment, and that the time I spent quietly afterward was to gather myself and ensure that I did not act out again.
When we got home, after I took a shower and Master read some about floggers, we talked about the marks and what was going on with that. He didn't feel as if my rule about wearing my collar was fully discussed, and so didn't take it into consideration about my marks, really. Also, He wanted to talk about Susy getting a mark versus everyone else getting a mark, since I am the one who always gets punished for it. I said that if someone else were to get a mark, they should get the individual punishment that comes with getting a mark, but that I would still take the 3 Strikes (Anal, for right now) punishment. He agreed, and said that He would count the mark Susy got for refusing to eat and refusing to switch when told to, but not the collar one. We discussed and
I think (don't remember exactly) that I'm basically not required to display complete and utter obedience and respect when wearing the collar, and I don't have to wear it all the time, but I am still responsible for my actions, and if I am not wearing my collar when I act badly, I will be judged more harshly for it, since I tend to behave better when wearing my collar.
However, I'd still like to get something down in writing about that and have Master read over it, agree, or edit it with me. I'd like to come to an agreement and then write it down to make sure we both understand each other.
After He said that I now have 3 Strikes, for certain, I asked if I could wait to be punished when my stomach wasn't so full from eating all that food (above). He said no, He wanted to do it now. I stopped myself from whining, it's a punishment, and made the bed the way He likes it for anal. I was anxious about it, I couldn't really remember any full-blown anal-for-punishment sex scenes, and it scared me. I know I'm not supposed to enjoy punishment, but anal is hard to push to enjoyment anyway, and my ass has been tighter lately since I haven't been playing with my glass plug for over a week (we had guests), and usually I have to push the pain to pleasure to be able to handle anal in the first place. This was all going on in my head as I got on my hands and knees on the towel and put my head down on the bed so that my ass was presented to Him. He rubbed me and asked what was wrong. I said I was scared. He put me on my back, and put a condom on, said He'd have sex with me first if that would help. I said I didn't see how it would, since this was punishment. He said to try to enjoy it, and the anal, too. That He wanted it that way.I tried to enjoy the sex, but I started crying soon after he told me to enjoy it. I think I was so nervous that all the emotional pressure just kind of collapsed. The sex didn't hurt, but it wasn't turning me on either, even though I was trying. I was also trying not to let Him hear me cry, and I held and rubbed His back. Then it started to hurt, He was going really deep, and every thrust felt like it triggered a cramp, and I think I was yelling, or told Him it hurt. He pulled out, and started to push into my ass, and I rolled over and started crying again, this time it wasn't just tears, it was sobs. He told me to roll back on my back, and I did, and then when He went to fuck me, I rolled over again, trying to pull my legs to my chest to curl in a ball. He told me it was a punishment, and to stop it. I was sobbing really hard now, and think I said "I can't..." I knew it didn't matter, but I couldn't stop crying, and He told me to stop, over and over. He slapped me once. I kept crying. Then I wanted to get away, and He yelled at me to stop crying, and I asked Him to leave me alone, or let me go, and He called me a bitch, and I cried louder when He yelled at me, and then I was pinned and couldn't get loose at all, and I was trying to get loose. At some point He took off His condom and gave me a look like it was my fault for making Him go soft for crying, that I had ruined everything. I scratched Him on His right harm, and He has a bruise on His chest from me, also (i pinched Him). I was panicking by this time, and he kept yelling at me to shut up. he said he wasn't going to hurt me, and I was still scared. I remember yelling that I wasn't playing; to let me go. He laughed at me at one point, part of the time it was Mikkal, and part of the time it was Kyle. I started screaming, angry, and I heard Emily tell me to get angry, it would help the fear, but it didn't. I remember being afraid that He would lose control, because I thought He was angry at me for crying and I didn't understand. I wanted to call yellow or something (that's as close as I got to remembering what my safeword was) but I was so afraid that He would say I'm being punished and didn't deserve to be able to use it. I won't make that mistake again, it wasn't worth not calling it, if it could have stopped what was going on. He was in control of Himself, I just couldn't see it because I wasn't in control of myself, I wasn't in control of anything, and I was so scared and felt so helpless.I wanted to run into the bathroom and sit on the floor and cry until I was ok, curled up, but He wouldn't let me go. I wanted Him to hold me and comfort me and tell me it was ok, but I was so afraid of him in that moment that I would have fought him if he'd tried to hold me that way. He told me that if I didn't stop crying, He was going to give me another strike, and counted from 5 to 1. When He said Five, I started to get up, because I thought He was ordering me to that position, and even though i didn't want to, I was going to go into it. The He said Four, and I sank back down again, I think he pushed me back down as well, I don't think He knew what was in my head, and I couldn't stop crying. At thins point He was mocking me when i yelled at him to let me go, He was trying to make me angry He says to get me to calm down. he says if I had tried to hit Him, He would have told me "good girl" and let me go. I screamed and was trying partly to scream for someone to come help me, I thought briefly of calling someone to come help on the phone, and then realized anyone who would come help would tell me to take my punishment like I was supposed to, and to stop being a bad girl. and He told me that there wre some cows across the street who hadn't heard me yet, to keep screaming. I think I screamed 3 times, and two of them I was trying to lower my voice, one of them yelling at Him to let me go, and he yelled back in my face and I cried harder again. my head was hurting, and it was getting really hot, and so I struggled even harder because I kept thinking something bad was about to happen when it got too hot, so I had to get loose before then. I managed to struggle us off of the bed, and then I was stuck with a box in my back, and He was even more angry, and I wasn't any better off. I said I wanted to go home, and He started screaming at me, and told me to say it again, how dare I , I wanted to go home, did i? say it again. and I said I wanted to go home! and He screamed at me to say it one more time, and I tried to yell that I couldn't breathe. It was so hot and I felt like I was suffocating from the heat even though I was naked. He let go of me, let me up, told me to sit on the bed, and at first I wouldn't sit on the bed, I sat up, but I was afraid something would happen. Then I moved to the bed. I still hadn't stopped crying. He was sitting on the floor in front of me, and asked me again if I really wanted to go to my parents house. I said no, and He moved and I moved to the other side of the bed. It was so hot but I wanted to cover up, His touch was making me feel sick, I hoped I wouldn't throw up, I hoped He knew I wasn't trying to be bad. I said I needed to blow my nose, and He said something along the line of fuck my nose. I think I tried to smile or laugh there. I got a towel. I tried to stop crying I think I did at some point. I managed to say "panicked" I think I stuttered. He laughed bitterly and said obviously, or ya think? or well duh. i noticed. I don't know, I know it was a "that was obvious" kind of statement. I didn't know. I didn't know if it was obvious or not. I didn't know if He thought I was trying to get my way and just not be punished. He went out, and I stayed and cried into the towel. I remember wondering if he was going to get me water, because my throat hurt so bad, or if he left because he was angry, or if he went to get the car ready and was going to make me go home anyway, I had all kinds of weird thoughts in my head. I wanted to curl up in a ball on the bed, but I was afraid that He would come back in and pin me or get mad at me for doing it. I went to the bathroom and washed my face or got water, and tried to stop crying. I put on a shirt and panties. I went to Him, and we talked about what had happened. I told him I didn't mean home like my parents house, I meant home like that primal comfort that is associated with home. My brain went from Him, to Daddy (still him, but I was afraid I'd pull Susy or Candy and that would be even worse) to "home" and that's what I said. I was actually thinking of our apartment in Alabama, but when he got so angry with me, I knew what he meant immediately. I said it again though because I hoped he would understand what I needed or at least let go of me. We both calmed down, he asked me nicely to stop crying (when did I start crying again?) and I did my best I think i stopped. This has never happened before, and I don't know what triggered it. Master says He thinks it was because He went from punishment to telling me to try to enjoy it so quickly that I couldn't process it and freaked out. I'm still not sure. It may have been the mood I was in at the time.
He was still horny, and said so. It had been 45 minutes since I'd stopped crying, and I offered to try again. He looked at me so severe I almost started crying again. "Not tonight." He said firmly. We eventually negotiated that He would stay up and masturbate, and I would go to bed, make the bed, and go to sleep. He would come in when He was done. I plugged in the PC for Him, and went to bed. I masturbated, too.
I was being punished the way He plans on punishing me next time. He was on the bed with the laptop, and He called me into the room, naked. He commanded, "Five" and I went down to five, my face in the corner. "No, not there. I don't want to see you, Bitch. Trash like you, that cant even obey simple commands, you dont even get to imagine that I'm masturbating to you. Stand at the foot of My bed. There. Five. Good, I don't have to see you from here, that's perfect." He made sure I could hear the porn, turned it up loud, and thoroughly enjoyed Himself, keeping me in five the entire time. Eventually, He called me. "Crawl to Me, bitch. I don't want to have to look at you, so put your head under My hand." I did, and He grabbed tightly to my hair. He pulled me up unto the bed below the laptop, and pushed my open mouth down onto His cock, moving His other hand out of the way.
At this point the story splits.
1) He shoved my head down all the way, and came as I gagged, my throat spasm-ing around His cock.
2) I began to push my head down farther, and He grabbed my hair tighter. "Oh no you don't, bitch. When I said catch, I meant catch. Now catch My cum, and don't swallow until I give you permission." He came, squirting the cum into my mouth, a big gush, and then several small squirts. "Suck the rest out." I did, fighting not to gag, trying to pull my head back, but His hand on the back of my head was keeping me in place. "See? We've found something you're good for. Now go back to the foot of the bed until I call you again." He turned the porn back on, and let it run to the end. When the sound stopped, I heard His voice directly behind me. He'd gotten out of bed as I crawled back to the foot of the bed.
"Swallow."
Gulp. Gasp.
"Good Girl. Recover. Hug Me. I love you."
I remember wondering what was taking Him so long to cum, because He hadn't come to bed yet.
I had some weird dreams, and in one of them, Master got a job at a Lego factory, putting new Lego sets together. I got a job in the same factory as an "Adult Escort" I was basically a stripper/hostess, who led the adult tours of the Lego factory.
I woke up and went to take a shower. I took my anal plug with me. I rinsed off, washed to toy, and then laid on my back and tried to put it in... It wouldn't go. Danny came out and made me sit on it. It went in then, lol. Danny made me count, slowly. When I missed a number, I had to restart at the nearest 27 and keep going from there. Eventually the water started to go cold, so I turned it off altogether. Originally I only had to count to 527, but when i got there, Danny forced me to keep going, because I had "tried to cheat" and not started at 27 every time I missed a number. I didn't stop until 627, which was (If I'd been counting by second) 10 and a half minutes. I was counting very slowly though, so I think it was more like 15-20 minutes. Then for good measure, she pushed it in and out several more times, making sure it hurt. Made me wash the toy and my ass in case He wanted to lick my ass.
I went in and woke Him up, told Him I was ready, and what I'd done. He went out a few minutes, made me put the toy in while He was gone, and lay on my back. Then He came back in, and licked my clit while pushing the toy in and out. It felt amazing. Then He gave me my bit gag to bite on (at my request) and put His dick in my ass. It hurt to go in, but not as bad as I was afraid it would the night before. He fucked me for a good 20-30 minutes, and twice during, stuck His thumb into my cunt and kept fucking my ass (which was AMAZING, btw. He's never done that before, but it made all the pain go away, and I absolutely loved it.). He called Danny and told her thank you. Then He called me back, and fucked the hell out of me!!! Afterward, we cuddled, and Danny made me put my hands behind my back (Master was playing with my tits and I wanted to rub) and Mikkal came out (He'd been out?) and pulled so hard on my tits, making me arch my back, and then rubbed my clit until it hurt (more sensitive than normal, and that's a lot) and I actually pulled one of my hands out from behind my back, my fist was even clenched. He made me put it back, and kept rubbing that same terrible spot, watching my face as I struggled with how much it hurt. Then He stopped and we cuddled more, and H fell asleep a few moments.
We got up and did a bunch of business stuff, and then went to wal-mart, bought TP, and went to wendy's.
I got another Chili!
When we got home, Daddy wouldn't let me go potty (I hadta poop) until He left. He was talking about how bad the house was, adn I told Him I could have it clean before He got home, not counting the laundry, and he said fuck the laundry, go clean the house.
My duties: Clean House Blog Read "The Day I Came in Public" Eat my chili Make a list of things to do to clean the house Oh yeah. Jake is moving out. He's paying us today, and also in two weeks because of the short notice. Jessi is moving in with us, she's pretty much already collared, but her consideration is going to be four months, since we weren't going to consider her for two months, but Master decided to go ahead and do it. Major may be moving in as well, but there is a lot to consider for him, so he hasn't made up his mind yet. Jake is supposed to come by later today, but its getting late and I'm tired of waiting on him. Master gave me orders not to be mean to him. I really want to. He's fucked with my life the way He's acted the past few months. But I'll behave.
Master said
(I said a certain dog in a car at Wal-Mart liked me more than it liked Him)
"Well duh, a dog will usually prefer another Bitch to a human any day." about me. It made me so happy, to be listed as less than human in His eyes, to be His toy, His Bitch, His slave...
No comments:
Post a Comment