July 28 Friday 12:25 AM
Missed journaling yesterday (earlier “today”) - couldn’t drag myself out of bed. Walked the dogs and took a nap and even then was so tired I didn’t want to get up.
We stopped my stimulant and switched to a new med. I’m getting so so dizzy and having a ton of trouble.
And I’m getting angry at night, R says I’m trying to fight with him.
I don’t mean to. I get so angry. It feels real. I still think the things are real… but both of us just… completely lose control.
It’s like I feel irritated and I snap harder than maybe I realize, and then he over reacts too, and then next thing I know we are HURTING each other.
I’m so fucking tired. And hungry. And angry. And it’s been so hot lately. And I’m easily distracted and can’t focus or finish anything I want to do.
And he’s still sick. They did his mri and no one ever called to tell him anything about it. Hell, it’s being sent to a cardiologist. Will that guy even KNOW what to do with it?
I’m so tired of this run around bullshit. It’s got to be something serious and no one wants to help. We need fucking HELP and it’s like no doctor will do their damn job. I’m fucking desperate at this point. I’ve BEEN desperate. What the hell else CAN I DO?
I’m probably just stressed + issues with my meds, but his shit is serious. It’s fucking serious. He needs a neurologist to look at the scans and x rays. And I don’t know how to make it happen.
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