headache, mood swings. permission not to blog yesterday.

I keep waiting for Him to come search for me, but it is not His job, and every time He gets up from His seat I cringe and hope He's not coming in here, and then when He doesn't, I feel sad because I miss Him.

I know He will not be upset with me or He would have called me to Him by now, but if I'd done this... I would be punished. I don't understand and I feel so hopeless from all of this.

I am angry, but sad, but I miss Him, but I am afraid.

and I know I cannot switch until I know what to expect, or I will not come back.