Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and
flipped over. The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath
the steering wheel. "Go and get help!" he cried. "But I can't. I'm naked and my clothes are gone!" "Take my shoe", he said, "and cover yourself." Holding the shoe over her pubes, the girl ran down the road and found a
service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to
the service station proprietor, "Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!" The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, "There's nothing I can
do...he's in too far."
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A man walks into a psychiatrist's office,,,,,
wearing only underwear made of Saran Wrap......
The psychiatrist says, ‘Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.”
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What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your balls motherf**ker this ain't no ordinary blowjob. teehehe
---------------------------
My girlfriend and I were having sex the other day when she looked at me and said, "Make love to me like in the movies." The Game.
So I fucked her in the ass, pulled out, and came all over her face and hair.
I guess we don't watch the same movies.
------------------------------
an Eskimo on a driving holiday in Wales, car breaks down, mechanic says "you've blown a seal" she replies "yeh and you shag sheep but what's wrong with the car?"
--------------------
Once upon a time there lived a king.
The king had a beautiful daughter, The PRINCESS..
But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.
No matter what;
Metal,
Wood,
Stone,
Anything she touched would melt.
Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.
The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?
He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king,
'If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured.' The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan.
The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth...
THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE.
The first brought a sword of the finest steel.
But alas, when the princess touched it, it melted.
The prince went away sadly .
The second prince brought diamonds.
He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt.
But alas, once the princess touched them, they melted.
He too was sent away disappointed.
The third prince approached. He told the princess,
'Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there.'
The princess did as she was told, though she turned red .
She felt something hard. She held it in her hand.
And it did not melt!!!
The king was overjoyed Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed. !
And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after.
Question: What was in the prince's pants?
M&M's of course.
They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
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Woman says, "Wanna hear a joke about my vagina? ......... Oh never mind, you won't get it."
Man says, "Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind, it's too long."
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A woman gave birth to a white baby in an african village.--------------------------
The chief took the baby to the missionary to explain since he was the only white person in the village.
Trying to find a way to explain, he pointed out into the field by the village.
"It's like this. Do you see that black sheep out there in the middle of all those white ones?"
"Oh, I see." said the chief.
"I not mention the baby, and you not mention the sheep."
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