Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
June 12 finally posting.
So emily wanted me to post what happened so that she'd know, and I guess this was the 11th when it happened, because it's on the to do for the 12th and anyway...
so major fingered me.. and then I spotted for a few days. I think it happened when he was kind of scraping the inside of me with his fingers, I know why that happened too, it was part of the play, but I don't think Master would really want me to go into the details, or so I'm gathering. Anyway, I spotted for about a week after, and it was old blood, a dark color, and not much, but sex also hurt a bit, and I was sore from the fingering for a short while.
It really made me crave playing with my Husband instead of His friend. Yeah, he's fun or whatever, but I hate trying to remember having sex or even just playing with Him and not being able to. I don't even know if He's ever had sex with me. I can't remember any. I really think He just doesn't like me. I know I'm not like them at all, and they don't really like me either, but it's hard to come out and ask for sex when I don't think He would want to have sex with me anyway.
Maybe one of these days I'll write a fantasy or something that we can both mutually enjoy.
Phiar
so major fingered me.. and then I spotted for a few days. I think it happened when he was kind of scraping the inside of me with his fingers, I know why that happened too, it was part of the play, but I don't think Master would really want me to go into the details, or so I'm gathering. Anyway, I spotted for about a week after, and it was old blood, a dark color, and not much, but sex also hurt a bit, and I was sore from the fingering for a short while.
It really made me crave playing with my Husband instead of His friend. Yeah, he's fun or whatever, but I hate trying to remember having sex or even just playing with Him and not being able to. I don't even know if He's ever had sex with me. I can't remember any. I really think He just doesn't like me. I know I'm not like them at all, and they don't really like me either, but it's hard to come out and ask for sex when I don't think He would want to have sex with me anyway.
Maybe one of these days I'll write a fantasy or something that we can both mutually enjoy.
Cheers,
To Do Tomorrow
Bathe dogs
Fold laundry
Jessi do applications
pics of the box - post - blog about party and post pics on fetlife.
Pics of Jessi's back - Jessi post on fetlife.
food
prep for wednesday, girl day.
Write out lines that Jessi is to copy, and how many of each etc.
talk to jessi about what is expected in each area of the household.
Fold laundry
Jessi do applications
pics of the box - post - blog about party and post pics on fetlife.
Pics of Jessi's back - Jessi post on fetlife.
food
prep for wednesday, girl day.
Write out lines that Jessi is to copy, and how many of each etc.
talk to jessi about what is expected in each area of the household.
Anal this morning
So Master and I had anal again today. It was my idea, really. He didn't feel good, He's had a pretty bad headache for a few days, and I hoped it would make Him feel better. So I said that I wouldn't mind anal again today, even though normally I'm sore and say no to anal for several days afterward. I guess I'm finally stretching out to His size maybe, getting used to Him... At least I like to hope and think so.
I wasn't totally ready for anal this morning, but it still felt good. He cut me off from coming, and I assumed it was because I'd stayed in bed with Him all night instead of going to my bed like I was supposed to after He fell asleep. He woke up, and the first thing He said was "Aren't you supposed to be in your bed?" The way He said it was gentle, and He'd just woken up, so Susy jumped at the opportunity to say she wanted to cuddle with her Daddy, and snuggled close to Him again. "You can punish Emily for it later, Daddy, but I wanted to cuddle You alllll night." He laughed and agreed. So anyway, I'm pretty close to orgasm, and He comes. It's also a rush because He didn't have much time before work, and now He has to take a shower, too since we had anal. I whimpered in pain a lot this time, and it took me a bit to work up to the begging. I also put my panties in my mouth so I wouldn't wake Jessi.
He told me to work up to being horny when He got home in case He wanted to have "better sex" tonight, but we were very hungry and all went to wendy's when He got home. Then we had to talk about the thing I already posted...
I'm really actually looking forward to my "punishment" for not sleeping at the foot of the bed. It's a little bit like role-play, since I know He's not really mad, it's just an excuse for us to play and for Him to hurt me a little or think up something totally crazy for me to do that will make me insanely horny and suffer for His pleasure.
I wasn't totally ready for anal this morning, but it still felt good. He cut me off from coming, and I assumed it was because I'd stayed in bed with Him all night instead of going to my bed like I was supposed to after He fell asleep. He woke up, and the first thing He said was "Aren't you supposed to be in your bed?" The way He said it was gentle, and He'd just woken up, so Susy jumped at the opportunity to say she wanted to cuddle with her Daddy, and snuggled close to Him again. "You can punish Emily for it later, Daddy, but I wanted to cuddle You alllll night." He laughed and agreed. So anyway, I'm pretty close to orgasm, and He comes. It's also a rush because He didn't have much time before work, and now He has to take a shower, too since we had anal. I whimpered in pain a lot this time, and it took me a bit to work up to the begging. I also put my panties in my mouth so I wouldn't wake Jessi.
He told me to work up to being horny when He got home in case He wanted to have "better sex" tonight, but we were very hungry and all went to wendy's when He got home. Then we had to talk about the thing I already posted...
I'm really actually looking forward to my "punishment" for not sleeping at the foot of the bed. It's a little bit like role-play, since I know He's not really mad, it's just an excuse for us to play and for Him to hurt me a little or think up something totally crazy for me to do that will make me insanely horny and suffer for His pleasure.
Standing Orders
Master and I have vaguely discussed that I'd like to add making our beds to my list of everyday duties, and I really like the idea, but I'm afraid I won't be able to stick with it. I've been using my bed all day and actually didn't even make them today. I'm probably going to try and make His before He goes to bed, though. Maybe He won't notice, at least not tonight.
Masturbation! With toys!
Yesterday I was cramping really bad, my back hurt, I had a headache, and I was really moody. I blogged about the sex the night before, and got really horny to have something inside me, specifically my ass. I told Him so over messenger and after about ten minutes (I had time to finish blogging) He sent permission for me to go masturbate. (Jessi had left to go to an interview [Coldstone] so I knew she wouldn't be back before I was done) I took my purple toy (my big toy) and my glass plug (also the big one) into the shower with me. Danny helped out, because it always gets me in the mood to have someone talk down to me and order me around so that I can whimper and beg or whatever I need at the time.
Monday, June 27, 2011
1)
When responsibilities are given to me, it is my duty to do the task well, quickly, and to the best of my ability. If I am presented with an obstacle, I will immediately ask myself, "Is there another way to accomplish this task?" If I cannot think of another solution, I will seek advice on the matter from one of my superiors. Having a responsibility means that I have been given trust. Failure to fulfill that responsibility results in a loss of trust from everyone who was depending on me.
I will do all tasks assigned to me whether I like them or not.
2)
The last person awake in the house is responsible for:
Locking all doors, walking or bringing in the dogs, turning off all lights (inside the
house and outside), making sure that the oven and stove are turned off, and closing the
formal living room, bathroom, and all bedroom doors. This also applies to the last person to leave the house.
When I am the last person awake or leaving the house, I am responsible for locking all
the doors, walking or bringing in the dogs, turning off all lights (inside the house and
outside), making sure that the oven and stove are turned off, and closing the formal
living room, bathroom, and bedroom doors.
I will remember to lock the front door before going to bed. This is imperative to the safety of the entire household.
I will obey my Sister without question or excuse.
_____________________________________________________
1) The front door.
I told you to make sure you locked the front door before going to bed, both today and
last night. That's twice I've had to remind you to do the same thing, and you didn't
listen either time. Maybe you had something else on your mind, but at this point why is
not important.
I've noticed that when you just agree with me, you're usually not listening very well,
because there's either some excuse when I ask why it wasn't done or it isn't done the
right way (and I give instructions on the right way to do things).
Now I know that it may not seem very important to you to do what you're told, and that
"lock the front door before you go to bed" may not sound very important, but there are
several scenarios where something seriously bad could have happened.
Burglars, family, the people who own the house, ANYONE could have walked in and done or
taken whatever they wanted. This mistake wouldn't just have cost you. It would have
affected everyone in this house.
2) The car insurance
I understand that you didn't want to call them-it's not fun, it's a grown-up
responsibility. It sucks. You are a grown-up now, and no one is going to pay this for
you.
OK, the internet didn't work for you.
It was working for me, which means either you lied, you didn't give it time to connect,
or it really wouldn't connect in which case you could have done several things to get
the number.
You could have 1) asked me - my internet was working, and I could have pointed you in
the right direction b) used a phone book or c) found a statement from geico in your
mail, those have the phone number.
When responsibilities are given to me, it is my duty to do the task well, quickly, and to the best of my ability. If I am presented with an obstacle, I will immediately ask myself, "Is there another way to accomplish this task?" If I cannot think of another solution, I will seek advice on the matter from one of my superiors. Having a responsibility means that I have been given trust. Failure to fulfill that responsibility results in a loss of trust from everyone who was depending on me.
I will do all tasks assigned to me whether I like them or not.
2)
The last person awake in the house is responsible for:
Locking all doors, walking or bringing in the dogs, turning off all lights (inside the
house and outside), making sure that the oven and stove are turned off, and closing the
formal living room, bathroom, and all bedroom doors. This also applies to the last person to leave the house.
When I am the last person awake or leaving the house, I am responsible for locking all
the doors, walking or bringing in the dogs, turning off all lights (inside the house and
outside), making sure that the oven and stove are turned off, and closing the formal
living room, bathroom, and bedroom doors.
I will remember to lock the front door before going to bed. This is imperative to the safety of the entire household.
I will obey my Sister without question or excuse.
_____________________________________________________
1) The front door.
I told you to make sure you locked the front door before going to bed, both today and
last night. That's twice I've had to remind you to do the same thing, and you didn't
listen either time. Maybe you had something else on your mind, but at this point why is
not important.
I've noticed that when you just agree with me, you're usually not listening very well,
because there's either some excuse when I ask why it wasn't done or it isn't done the
right way (and I give instructions on the right way to do things).
Now I know that it may not seem very important to you to do what you're told, and that
"lock the front door before you go to bed" may not sound very important, but there are
several scenarios where something seriously bad could have happened.
Burglars, family, the people who own the house, ANYONE could have walked in and done or
taken whatever they wanted. This mistake wouldn't just have cost you. It would have
affected everyone in this house.
2) The car insurance
I understand that you didn't want to call them-it's not fun, it's a grown-up
responsibility. It sucks. You are a grown-up now, and no one is going to pay this for
you.
OK, the internet didn't work for you.
It was working for me, which means either you lied, you didn't give it time to connect,
or it really wouldn't connect in which case you could have done several things to get
the number.
You could have 1) asked me - my internet was working, and I could have pointed you in
the right direction b) used a phone book or c) found a statement from geico in your
mail, those have the phone number.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
My first toy for $8.57
I just found a toy that I typically end up paying $15 for at the local sex toy store for $8.57 ... so here's the link, wonder if we'll be using this store from now on?
http://batterybliss.com/catalog/Vibrators-under-20
Vibrating Hairbrush... Someone got cum in their hair.
Voice Activated Vibrator - This could go very badly for me...
I like this one. $9, and it looks nice.
Two person double ball gag
panties that say "naughty" on the back
feather duster ball gag
Man thong made of mint candy
http://batterybliss.com/catalog/Vibrators-under-20
Vibrating Hairbrush... Someone got cum in their hair.
Voice Activated Vibrator - This could go very badly for me...
I like this one. $9, and it looks nice.
Two person double ball gag
panties that say "naughty" on the back
feather duster ball gag
Man thong made of mint candy
Sex last night
So I got into my bed at the foot of the bed, and master called me up onto His "for a minute". I thought He just wanted to cuddle, because He seemed really tired before then, and had seemed very uninterested in sex, so I hadn't asked, I figured it was pretty important to get Him into bed. (It is IMPORTANT to note here, that at this point He had not read my blog post from last night about my fantasy, because it amazed me at the similarities - I felt like He'd read my mind, or found some way to read my blog without me knowing)
I had to hold His cum inside me all night. I love that. I was His personal cum storage unit overnight.
(And now that I've told about the sex, I'm going to go shove a big purple toy up my ass in the shower and masturbate about it. Thank You for allowing me to play while You're at work, Master.)
really really random shit
I like the v05 shampoo better for getting my hair clean. I use the herbal essences when I want my hair to be soft and smell good, but it seems like when I really want to get the oil and dirt out of my hair, I have to use it twice or else use the other one. I'm running low on both, right now.
I really want a working pair of tweezers. I think the pair I had has been un-aligned (whatever the word is) because Master uses it sometimes for things other than plucking hairs. and I've been dying to pluck my eyebrows lately. I almost locked myself in major's bathroom the other day to use his because they're very accurate and stuff.
I've been thinking about putting food dye in with the conditioner that no one likes because it has a strong flower scent to it... and dying my hair that way. I know it would make a huge mess, and I'm afraid people would think I was stupid for trying it, but it doesn't stop me from wanting to do it. I just don't want anyone to think I did it because we don't have money to get my hair dyed. That's not why I want to try it, I want to try it to see if it works. *sigh* And I haven't decided on red or blue yet either. I think blue might look weird in my hair since it's not black right now anyway. But red could turn pinkish, and that would be even worse, wouldn't it?
I'd really actually like to do a pamper day as a group event, but I think it could potentially be a disaster. We wouldn't be able to do baths and such, but we could make popcorn, watch a movie, sit on blankets and do our nails... and help each other with lotion and stuff or.. idk. I'm not really very good at this kind of thing, but I think it could be an awesome opportunity for the girls of the group to hang out and get to know each other. Maybe the girls could have the upstairs or dungeon, and the guys could have the other floor, whichever it was.
but if it was a sleepover kind of girly party, then that could get even more complicated.
Jessi and I are going to do a girl day this wednesday, that's what got me thinking about all this.
I really want a working pair of tweezers. I think the pair I had has been un-aligned (whatever the word is) because Master uses it sometimes for things other than plucking hairs. and I've been dying to pluck my eyebrows lately. I almost locked myself in major's bathroom the other day to use his because they're very accurate and stuff.
I've been thinking about putting food dye in with the conditioner that no one likes because it has a strong flower scent to it... and dying my hair that way. I know it would make a huge mess, and I'm afraid people would think I was stupid for trying it, but it doesn't stop me from wanting to do it. I just don't want anyone to think I did it because we don't have money to get my hair dyed. That's not why I want to try it, I want to try it to see if it works. *sigh* And I haven't decided on red or blue yet either. I think blue might look weird in my hair since it's not black right now anyway. But red could turn pinkish, and that would be even worse, wouldn't it?
I would very much like to go to the $ tree and spend about $5 on bathroom supplies, such as
A pair of tweezers, a bottle of lotion, maybe a new shampoo and a candle for the bathroom.
I'd really actually like to do a pamper day as a group event, but I think it could potentially be a disaster. We wouldn't be able to do baths and such, but we could make popcorn, watch a movie, sit on blankets and do our nails... and help each other with lotion and stuff or.. idk. I'm not really very good at this kind of thing, but I think it could be an awesome opportunity for the girls of the group to hang out and get to know each other. Maybe the girls could have the upstairs or dungeon, and the guys could have the other floor, whichever it was.
but if it was a sleepover kind of girly party, then that could get even more complicated.
Jessi and I are going to do a girl day this wednesday, that's what got me thinking about all this.
Strike One
I got my First strike in a while yesterday.
We were on the phone, and He said that we were going to Major's while Jessi was at work, something about food, and to remember to bring some game, a rental that they'd been playing so we could take it back to major so he could return it. I said ok, and then promptly forgot to put it in the car. I wanted to hurry and get the dog food so that we could leave soon, and jessi wouldn't be late for work and such, I also told Jessi that I would have to call Him back because He told me to pack something and I couldn't remember what it was. When I talked to Him next, I asked Him what we were supposed to pack to go to major's house, and He told me "nothing, we're not staying the night. I have work tomorrow." so I assumed it was just one of those normal feelings of "i've forgotten something" when I really hadn't. It wouldn't have been that unusual, I was used to bringing a ton of stuff to major's house. I remembered that we needed it two roads from the house. Master scolded me and asked what was so important that I couldn't remember the last thing He'd told me when we got off the phone. I said I guessed it was getting socks, because it was the only thing I could remember doing from the time we got off the phone to the time Jessi and I left the house.
That was my first strike, and I have not been punished for it yet.
We were on the phone, and He said that we were going to Major's while Jessi was at work, something about food, and to remember to bring some game, a rental that they'd been playing so we could take it back to major so he could return it. I said ok, and then promptly forgot to put it in the car. I wanted to hurry and get the dog food so that we could leave soon, and jessi wouldn't be late for work and such, I also told Jessi that I would have to call Him back because He told me to pack something and I couldn't remember what it was. When I talked to Him next, I asked Him what we were supposed to pack to go to major's house, and He told me "nothing, we're not staying the night. I have work tomorrow." so I assumed it was just one of those normal feelings of "i've forgotten something" when I really hadn't. It wouldn't have been that unusual, I was used to bringing a ton of stuff to major's house. I remembered that we needed it two roads from the house. Master scolded me and asked what was so important that I couldn't remember the last thing He'd told me when we got off the phone. I said I guessed it was getting socks, because it was the only thing I could remember doing from the time we got off the phone to the time Jessi and I left the house.
That was my first strike, and I have not been punished for it yet.
Safe but effective rope bondage
http://fetlife.com/groups/113/group_posts/1526649 is a post with links to videos of how to tie various knots. Anyway, dunno if it's of interest or not, but I thought I'd post it anyway.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Fantasy
So Last night one of the mattresses major left at our house got moved to our bedroom, and I put it at the foot of the bed, because that's where it fit in the room. Last night, I asked Master if I could sleep there because it was more comfy than our bed anyway. He loved the idea,"more room for Me" He said, and told me to get to the foot of the bed where I belong, and off of His bed. I love it! So, last night I masturbated to this fantasy:
Same bedroom, the floor is still wooden, but more of a dungeon looking wood, not a polished nice material. At the foot of the bed are two large eye-hooks (like the pic I uploaded, only bigger and thicker, and less shiny) drilled straight into the wood floor, about 4 feet apart, one about a foot in from the corners of the bed on each side. I'm a new addition to the household, and am in the process of being trained. Of course, I've got an attitude problem and fuck up all the time, sometimes on purpose just to get under His skin. He's already told me I'm not allowed on His bed, that my place is at the foot of it. Well, I have ended up in the bed every night so far, but He hasn't realized until He wakes up the next morning, because I'm very good at "Don't Wake Daddy."
I am chained to these, my ankles in thick cuffs, both chained to one, and my collar chained to the other, about 12 inches of chain attached to collar, and each ankle so that I can move some, but definitely can't get up, or on the bed. Yes, naked. He laughs and tells me "Stay" turns off the light, and gets into bed. After a few uncomfortable hours, I finally fall asleep, exhausted. It's been a long day.
I wake up to a hand on each of my hips, just before His dick goes into my ass. Now my ankles are cuffed directly to the hook, no slack at all, and I can't move. He calls me a useless whore, says I'm not good for anything. He didn't want to be forced to use my asshole, I'm disgusting, but it's the only hole I have that's tight enough for Him. Says it will teach me to sleep around and whore myself out so much. If I could only go a week without being a dirty slut, maybe He won't have to use my ass next time. Then He says it's a disgrace to sluts to call em one, because if I was my ass wouldn't be tight anyway. Says I'm not even good enough at what I do to be called a slut, either, so I'm just useless. He pounds my ass until he cums, and then leaves me there, in the dark. I hear Him shower, and then He comes back to bed and goes back to sleep. And I'm left tied there until such time as He finds me useful again.
 |
| Eye Hook |
I am chained to these, my ankles in thick cuffs, both chained to one, and my collar chained to the other, about 12 inches of chain attached to collar, and each ankle so that I can move some, but definitely can't get up, or on the bed. Yes, naked. He laughs and tells me "Stay" turns off the light, and gets into bed. After a few uncomfortable hours, I finally fall asleep, exhausted. It's been a long day.
I wake up to a hand on each of my hips, just before His dick goes into my ass. Now my ankles are cuffed directly to the hook, no slack at all, and I can't move. He calls me a useless whore, says I'm not good for anything. He didn't want to be forced to use my asshole, I'm disgusting, but it's the only hole I have that's tight enough for Him. Says it will teach me to sleep around and whore myself out so much. If I could only go a week without being a dirty slut, maybe He won't have to use my ass next time. Then He says it's a disgrace to sluts to call em one, because if I was my ass wouldn't be tight anyway. Says I'm not even good enough at what I do to be called a slut, either, so I'm just useless. He pounds my ass until he cums, and then leaves me there, in the dark. I hear Him shower, and then He comes back to bed and goes back to sleep. And I'm left tied there until such time as He finds me useful again.
jessi punishment (my version)
So it's two days before the party and we're all at wal-mart (major, ginger, jessi and myself [major said we could go with if we wanted, and I called Master [at work] who graciously let us go, considering all the stuff we still needed to get done]) and we're almost done there (Susy has been out and annoying everyone for the entire trip, and I'm pretty much ready to go back home and get to work so that she'll leave again [susy doesn't like to clean]) and then Jessi wanders off for a minute and comes back around the aisle looking like she's been crying. Of course Susy asked her what was wrong, I mean, it's Susy! And she probably said it pretty loud, but she was worried, and was afraid she'd said something to upset Jessi (she knows she say things that upset Jessi, but she usually doesn't know what it was or why it upset her) and was upset at the thought that something had made Jessi cry. Jessi said she felt sick. Susy asked what was wrong, and she wouldn't tell her right away, so susy asked what hurt, and Jessi finally said she felt unsteady on her feet and her stomach was nauseous. and Susy said, "well you probably need to eat." and I heard her and I came out and asked,
I don't tell her that's nothing to be proud of, it's not something I feel I should have to tell her. She should be ashamed that other people have to force her to eat. It's like having a moody 3 year old for crying out loud! That's the last time my parents had to force me to eat, unless the food was just gross.What I do tell her is that she is in trouble, and it's going to be a lot worse when He gets home tonight.
So major jumps in and asks if there's something fast she can eat at home. I say I think so, and start listing off to her what she has available to eat. She picks one small thing, and I tell her she's going to be eating more than that. And we go through the checkout, and she's trying to joke and laugh about stuff, but I don't really find it funny, it's after 8PM and the last time she ate was the night before. Major locks her out of the car, and she sits on the ground like she's sad and begging to be let in. Then we go to wendy's and He orders 4 burgers. He gives her two of them and takes 2 for himself. he asks if anyone else wants anything, and I say no because if it weren't for jessi, he wouldn't be spending his money on us anyway. It's not fair to put him into a situation where he has to feed us when he wasn't planning on it. I'm also pissed because he's rewarding her for not eating by giving her hamburgers (food she likes and wants to eat and fast food etc) and when we go home I get a bowl of ramen noodles and a burrito. I keep thinking of what I would do to her if I was allowed to. I feel like I should do something to make sure she thinks about it even if I can't punish her the way He's going to for training. I tell her that after she finishes one of the two burgers, she has to call and tell Him what she did. I wanted to tell Him, but I hoped it would inspire more fear if she had to tell Him herself, and maybe get her to realize how wrong it is to do this to her family and herself. I also added another glass of water (5 now, making that 10 instead of 8 glasses of water today) because I was upset and felt if I did a few little things it would keep me from making a big mistake and leaving her in 5 for 20 minutes or slapping her, or something stupid that would get me in trouble on top of what I might already be in (as the alpha submissive, if she fucks up, I usually get punished for it too, for not guiding her better or watching her to make sure she knows what she's supposed to do.) and I think I might have made her do something she doesn't like for cleaning, too.
When he got home, He didn't want to talk about her at all until He made up His mind what He was going to do to punish her. Then He told me, "you're not going to like it." and explained everything. Major let me use his phone for the alarms, and showed me a fun game that I could play while I waited for her to eat. he also pointed out the high scores, and kind of challenged me on that I think.
So at 2:50 AM I go ahead and wake Jessi up, and take her to the kitchen. I tell her to make ramen noodles, and put the flavor packet in *this* bowl. I sit, and play the card game until she has the food ready. I see her put the flavor packet, now empty, into the bowl. I stop her, tell her that's not what she was supposed to do, and have her remake it. I tell her I'll eat the one with the flavor in it, but her noodles don't get that. She thanks me for eating the noodles for her, and proceeds to make another bowl of noodles. I've finished 20 minutes before she has, but I also had more time to eat, because she had to cook more noodles. I also make her drink a large glass of water (16 oz) with the noodles. she jokes a few times about feeding the noodles to the dogs and I said if she did I'd make her make another bowl and eat that. "Well then I'd be up all night" she said. I said if she kept makin it and feeding half to the dogs instead of finishing the noodles, she'd be eating more than if she'd just finish the bowl in the first place. She said that "I meant if I had to make another bowl of ramen I'd feel like I was up all night." I smirked here because I knew that at 6AM she had to get up again. I also made her clean up anything that had happened due to her being awake at 3AM, including dishes and dog shit. She finished and I looked at the clock. 4AM. This was going to be a long night.
6AM, I almost missed the alarm. I caught the tail end of it when I realized I'd somehow hit the snooze. I went to the bathroom and then woke her up. "Jessi, Kitchen." I pulled a chair in this time, and sat there instead of on the counter. Another hour to cook, eat, and clean up. This is when I made it onto the high score list on major's phone.
8AM, I sat straight up, looked at the phone and realized no, I hadn't forgot to wake her up the second time. It only felt like 10AM, it wasn't. fell back asleep. Masturbated to being made to cum over and over again, and then punished for getting His hand wet.
9AM, I had her walk the dogs while she waited for the ramen to cool off. This time I made a list of what needed to be done with her name on it, and gave it to her. She had to stay up this time and get some work done around the house before she could
------------------------------ (Updated June 27, 2011)
Master let us go back to bed around 11 something - Correction, He let her go back to bed. We ended up having sex (He bit Susy on the ass several times, then had a seizure. After that was over, we had sex. I don't remember much about the sex, to be honest. It was good though, pretty sure I had an orgasm. I think He hushed me, and the only sound was bed squeaks when He came.). He woke her up at 12 before He left for work and made her eat PB a spoonful with a glass of milk.
3 PM was another bowl of ramen, and this time Major stepped in to remind her to hurry up and finish food because the party and a lot to do.
at 5PM He called and said to make her eat another spoon of PB and a glass of milk.
7PM she had another bowl of ramen, and ate some cereal on top of that. I didn't supervise this time, and realized right after she finished, but I'd been trying to get things done and was tired of watching her eat to be totally honest.
I think that was the end of it.
(And I wish I had handled this differently, I wish I had pulled her aside and asked instead of asking in front of ginger and major, because I should have anticipated the answer - it would have saved Master and I some embarrassment if I hadn't had to drag it out of her in front of both of them - They must think that He doesn't train us correctly, can't handle Jessi... or me! That I might have fucked up because I was supposed to make her eat... - I was so upset: I was pissed off, worried about her, embarrassed, and worried about me [it was my fault I didn't watch and make sure she ate, so what's going to happen to me?]. )
"Jessi, when was the last time you've eaten?"
"I don't remember."
"Well have you eaten today?"
"No."
"Well did you eat last night? I remember He was having a hard time getting you to eat then, too."
(She perks up, here) "Yes! He made me eat all of it."
So major jumps in and asks if there's something fast she can eat at home. I say I think so, and start listing off to her what she has available to eat. She picks one small thing, and I tell her she's going to be eating more than that. And we go through the checkout, and she's trying to joke and laugh about stuff, but I don't really find it funny, it's after 8PM and the last time she ate was the night before. Major locks her out of the car, and she sits on the ground like she's sad and begging to be let in. Then we go to wendy's and He orders 4 burgers. He gives her two of them and takes 2 for himself. he asks if anyone else wants anything, and I say no because if it weren't for jessi, he wouldn't be spending his money on us anyway. It's not fair to put him into a situation where he has to feed us when he wasn't planning on it. I'm also pissed because he's rewarding her for not eating by giving her hamburgers (food she likes and wants to eat and fast food etc) and when we go home I get a bowl of ramen noodles and a burrito. I keep thinking of what I would do to her if I was allowed to. I feel like I should do something to make sure she thinks about it even if I can't punish her the way He's going to for training. I tell her that after she finishes one of the two burgers, she has to call and tell Him what she did. I wanted to tell Him, but I hoped it would inspire more fear if she had to tell Him herself, and maybe get her to realize how wrong it is to do this to her family and herself. I also added another glass of water (5 now, making that 10 instead of 8 glasses of water today) because I was upset and felt if I did a few little things it would keep me from making a big mistake and leaving her in 5 for 20 minutes or slapping her, or something stupid that would get me in trouble on top of what I might already be in (as the alpha submissive, if she fucks up, I usually get punished for it too, for not guiding her better or watching her to make sure she knows what she's supposed to do.) and I think I might have made her do something she doesn't like for cleaning, too.
When he got home, He didn't want to talk about her at all until He made up His mind what He was going to do to punish her. Then He told me, "you're not going to like it." and explained everything. Major let me use his phone for the alarms, and showed me a fun game that I could play while I waited for her to eat. he also pointed out the high scores, and kind of challenged me on that I think.
So at 2:50 AM I go ahead and wake Jessi up, and take her to the kitchen. I tell her to make ramen noodles, and put the flavor packet in *this* bowl. I sit, and play the card game until she has the food ready. I see her put the flavor packet, now empty, into the bowl. I stop her, tell her that's not what she was supposed to do, and have her remake it. I tell her I'll eat the one with the flavor in it, but her noodles don't get that. She thanks me for eating the noodles for her, and proceeds to make another bowl of noodles. I've finished 20 minutes before she has, but I also had more time to eat, because she had to cook more noodles. I also make her drink a large glass of water (16 oz) with the noodles. she jokes a few times about feeding the noodles to the dogs and I said if she did I'd make her make another bowl and eat that. "Well then I'd be up all night" she said. I said if she kept makin it and feeding half to the dogs instead of finishing the noodles, she'd be eating more than if she'd just finish the bowl in the first place. She said that "I meant if I had to make another bowl of ramen I'd feel like I was up all night." I smirked here because I knew that at 6AM she had to get up again. I also made her clean up anything that had happened due to her being awake at 3AM, including dishes and dog shit. She finished and I looked at the clock. 4AM. This was going to be a long night.
6AM, I almost missed the alarm. I caught the tail end of it when I realized I'd somehow hit the snooze. I went to the bathroom and then woke her up. "Jessi, Kitchen." I pulled a chair in this time, and sat there instead of on the counter. Another hour to cook, eat, and clean up. This is when I made it onto the high score list on major's phone.
8AM, I sat straight up, looked at the phone and realized no, I hadn't forgot to wake her up the second time. It only felt like 10AM, it wasn't. fell back asleep. Masturbated to being made to cum over and over again, and then punished for getting His hand wet.
9AM, I had her walk the dogs while she waited for the ramen to cool off. This time I made a list of what needed to be done with her name on it, and gave it to her. She had to stay up this time and get some work done around the house before she could
------------------------------ (Updated June 27, 2011)
Master let us go back to bed around 11 something - Correction, He let her go back to bed. We ended up having sex (He bit Susy on the ass several times, then had a seizure. After that was over, we had sex. I don't remember much about the sex, to be honest. It was good though, pretty sure I had an orgasm. I think He hushed me, and the only sound was bed squeaks when He came.). He woke her up at 12 before He left for work and made her eat PB a spoonful with a glass of milk.
3 PM was another bowl of ramen, and this time Major stepped in to remind her to hurry up and finish food because the party and a lot to do.
at 5PM He called and said to make her eat another spoon of PB and a glass of milk.
7PM she had another bowl of ramen, and ate some cereal on top of that. I didn't supervise this time, and realized right after she finished, but I'd been trying to get things done and was tired of watching her eat to be totally honest.
I think that was the end of it.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Party tonight!
party tonight, day one of my period, 8pm.
cramping pretty badly.expecting about 12 people tonight... that's money for us :)
last period was may 29th
cramping pretty badly.expecting about 12 people tonight... that's money for us :)
last period was may 29th
Thursday, June 23, 2011
sands, vicki, and popcorn sex!
Last night was awesome.
The girl was out from the time He got home until time for bed. she came out while I was doing makeup, and then next thing I know, once the hanging collar was on, she was out. she seems to prefer that one. I was the one stripping and showing off the outfit, but then after that (Heels, no socks, leather-looking pants, a black corset, my collar, the dangly collar, dark red lipstick, egyptian eyes, a purple hint of blush, pink mesh thong). (She's been out a few times, and one was while shaving, she made a triangle landing strip. I shaved it this morning after the sex though, it was starting to itch a bit.) she was out. I made dinner, did 9 pull ups (our new record) while wearing heels while waiting on the food, and while I was looking for my camera box (it has the cord in it to move pics from the cam to the pc and I can't find it still) she came out. She stayed out to serve dinner, tried several times to be pleasing sexually as well as aesthetically, and changed into something less intrusive on the eyes when He commented that He was more interested in comfortable and cute than in sexy-hot. (tan tank top, no bra, black skirt with a reddish orange curl pattern up the sides, and socks to be more silent, and less obvious about location. Still wearing the make-up (red lipstick now a gold), hair now pulled back in a bun except for the two even long bangs hanging on either side. She presented very well, and also presented to Major as ordered. She sat by Master's side on the floor for the entire movie, moving only when unable to hold the position, or when He needed something. After that, it was time for bed and such.
He said He wanted to cum fast, and she was ok with that, but when He switched to Timmy she kinda freaked out- she didn't know Him, and saw that He was young, and didn't want to give herself to a child, even for Him.
She made up her mind finally to serve, and she knows how to, that's for sure. She wasn't before, but I'm glad she's come to a decision on that. (Red because Emily blogged it)
and then He called Vicki.
I reminded Him that the last time I was out was two months ago, and we had an argument before I left. He was very upset that He hadn't called me back to discuss what had happened. I called Kyle, and we discussed what we needed to. I told Him to tell me His needs. it took a minute but we came to an agreement that we would have sex. The I told Him to tell me how good I felt, how smooth my skin was, etc. Then I told Him to start at my feet and kiss, caress and love His way to kiss my lips, and to play with my tits as well. He did and then went down on me also, and rimmed me, which felt amazing, just so you know... and I really enjoyed it. Finally I let Him put on a condom and fuck me while playing with my tits. gently, still. slow and soft fucking and twisting and pulling. Then He stopped with my tits and just fucked me. I felt really good, and we had both enjoyed ourselves enough, so I kissed Kyle and called Mikkal out, (I was ready to be fucked hard and wanted to keep the gentle service-style mood with Kyle, and so I pulled a different personality to keep the mutual feeling between Kyle and I - I feel a need to explain this because I think Kyle was upset, and questioned my reasoning) and He of course said "you know I'm not submissive to you, right?" I of course answered in the affirmative, and then held onto the bed because I knew He would fuck me really hard. He did... I squirted all over Him, and it felt absolutely amazing. I was really able to enjoy it, because I knew I was coming. and then, after I finished, He came. I don't even remember His orgasm, I just remember feeling like I'd conquered the world. and we had to change the sheets. I came back from getting the sheets and Mikkal said "somebody's mad at me... cuz I made you come" and was all happy about it. He fell asleep really fast, but before He did, He said "I bow to your uber dominant cock" because I'd made the comment that I liked having dominant sex. I didn't have to masturbate to fall asleep.
I pulled the girl this morning when I woke up, and I put the thought in her mind. She was to get up and serve coffee and breakfast in her collar, a thong, a skirt and heels. She did as I had put in her mind, and woke Him up with a bowl of cereal, a glass of milk, and perfect coffee. then she ate her breakfast kneeling at the side of His bed. this part was a significant amount of time, and she learned things about us that she didn't know before.
Then He pulled Emily. I spoke to Him about some things I'd noticed and answered some questions He had. I received permission to speak with Jessi about some things, and instruction on how to act in that manner. Then He said He was horny (I was now sitting on the side of the bed, the floor was pretty uncomfortable. ) and I kinda sorta talked Him into sex. We dry humped for a bit, after I told Him how horny it made me to think of riding Him with heels and my skirt still on. He let me on top, and then held the metal hang-down part of my collar, and it turned me on even more. He would pull me down to thrust harder and the heels and the skirt just made me so horny. And then He shoved me off and fingered my ass while hlding me down.. and then I heard the sound... The sound that always makes me clench my asshole. The sound of Him lubing His cock with spit. I told myself, "you want sex, you're turned on, just relax." and then I told Him, "I'm scared" and He responded with "you should be." and it didn't help me take it at all. But I took it. He made me put my heels together, and put a blanket over my feet, to hold them together I guess. which really really turned me on, it was almost as if He'd tied the heels of my shoes together. (Which is super hot btw!) and then He made me stay down, and then pushed my shoulders down and pulled my head back, I could see my face and His reflected on the gold knob on the frame of the bed... which turned me on, too!!! everything about the sex turned me on. and then after a few minutes of reaming my asshole in this position, He flipped me onto my back, pulled my panties the rest of the way off and took my heels as well, but allowed me to keep the skirt, which (you guessed it) really turned me on!! :) and then I started coming. He was pounding my ass, and I knew I was about to, and then I was happy because I was about to orgasm, and then I was crying but I knew I was about to come and I shouldn't be upset or desperate or anything... and this was when he asked me "are you done?" and I answered "I don't know!" and then he slowed down again for a minute and we both grinned and really enjoyed it, and then He started fucking me really hard again... and then I was giggling and happy and really really enjoying it and I was having another orgasm, and He leaned back to fuck me in the ass and watch me squirt and come everywhere... everything was soaked and wet... and it was really really a good yummy feeling and He kept making me squirt everywhere... and then I said something like I think I'm done, I don't think I can have another orgasm... and He got this look on His face, and said "Oh really? lets find out." and I tried to correct myself and say that I didn't think I could handle another orgasm, but it was too late, and He forced another orgasm out of me (not that I minded by then) and then at the end of it I begged Him to cum. He laughed and told me "I can't. I don't have time, I've got to go." and before I even realize He was out, He was standing at the foot of the bed, and leaving to take a shower. He sent me to get some things, i forget what. We talked while He was in the shower, I forget... but It was amazing great awesome loving hard core pain rough sex etc. I feel absolutely amazing.
PS I really do think being hydrated made it easier to cum, unless it was something else that's changed recently. I just can't really think what else could have made it easier for me to have an orgasm, that doesn't make much sense.
Also, I am slightly out-of-my-mind horny after writing this. Oh well. lol.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
I made a dandelion flogger this morning. It was crap, but it was fun making it even though it makes ppl itch.
I had a bad dream last night - it was the water-boarding scene, but I could only remember the scary stuff and the sad and upset parts and shame and ... Daddy didn't want me to talk about it then, but it is important to me that i get it out somewhere because I don't want it to stay inside me, I want it out of me so I stop thinking about it.
In a puddle gasping, can't breathe, and he says it's over, and I reach up and beg him not to end the scene - I'll confess I'll say whatever you want, just don't end it, don't give up. -
I never told Him that I asked major to take a shower with em while we were on the couch for aftercare. I was so cold and drenched and cold to the bone and wanted a warm/hot shower, but I didn't want to be alone, that was scarier than anything. and I asked, and then I heard in his voice that i'd done/said something wrong in the way he laughed when he said no... he wanted a cigarette and would come get me after I took a shower...
And I'm sitting in the bathtub, the water running over my face and hair and down my back, and I know I need to get up and wash my hair - i'm covered in dirt and black specks- and I just can't bring myself to do it. I don't even know why I got in the shower now, because I haven't done anything to clean up. I haven't soaped up or shaved or done anything but sit there in the water, and I feel so useless and lazy...
And I'm sitting on the washing machine, wrapped in a towel with my knees tucked up to my chest. I had some vague notion that i should cover up, and that's the only reason I'm holding it. I would have preferred to be naked, but I would have embarrassed someone. I giggle when I think that someone might mistake it for an empty bathroom and come in to use it. Then I am down again, deep, thinking about the trouble I'd be in if they found me, or if major came to the bathroom and knocked and gave me away. It's dark, and i prefer it that way, and I just sit and breathe and don't think of anything after that.major comes in and tells me i scared him because i was hiding. I get downa dn go with him and gt really clumbsy and stupid putting on clothes. I don't want a water... I've had enough! and I drink just a few sips of coke even though I'm really thirsty - it still scares me some, and part of me thinks he's going to tip the can up and make me choke/drown/suffer all over again.
I keep telling him I could switch and pull myself back if I have to, or if he'd prefer, that I just don't want to. I don't know if I even really believe it myself, but I'm trying hard to convince myself that it's true.
and then it's time for him to go scene with other people. i don't want it to be over yet, and I try to stay near him as much as possible, -i have a blanket around me now, where'd it come from?- but so many people keep talking.
and it's cold and wet and I'm in the floor in a puddle trying to breathe, and people are laughing and it's cold and there's a cookie and I try to spit it out but it just gets worse and i gag and cough and sputter and can't breathe and there's so much water...
And I realize I'm awake, in bed, and there's nothing wrong but I can't breathe and I've been whimpering and I want to be held but I want to call major and tell him that I never want to do that again, and I stop myself and sit up, and stop to think. major is with destiny and doesn't need to deal with something stupid like this, it was just a bad dream, i don't really need aftercare all over again, I just need a shower. I'll go take a shower, and maybe I won't bother anyone else -He's asleep isn't He? and then He's not and I'm being held and covered with blankets and love and told nice things and loved on and it makes the fear go away, even if it doesn't make the breathing slow. After a while I go take the shower and don't wash anything, and go to bed - this time I can sleep and I'm safe and comforted.
and I gave Him a smurf blowjob, I saw it on a post of things not to do to your dom, and I thought I'll try it one day, and then He wanted a blowjob and it was priceless! so I did. and in two fell sucks He knew something was wrong and was so fucking pissed.
I was tied to the bed and fucked... and it was a-fucking-mazing. He didn't use a condom for the first few minutes, He kept telling me He was going to cum inside me, He loves making me beg, sometimes I wonder if He'd love making me cry. Sometimes that makes me horny, but I don't know who that thought would be hot to. I haven't gotten to be tied down in so long, and He let me strugle once I was down, and He hurt me and I didn't think I could take it but I had to, and then He fucked me and told me to try to get loose, and I did and I couldn't do anything about it, I was helpless and nothing I'd done in the past to keep myself out of this situation had done me any good, I was doomed - I was powerless to stop Him from doing whatever he wanted to me, even if He had wanted to take my ass, there was nothing I could have done about it, and if He'd wanted me to be quiet it would have only taken a pillow or the time to shove something in my mouth and tie it there and I would have been completely quiet, imobile and helpless. It was the hottest sex I've ever had
The day before that, He fucked Lauren in the ass. And apparently that was the hottest sex He'd even had. She really didn't want to, but she did everythign He asked, she sucked His cock while He rimmed her asshole and pussy at His will, and then she held her breasts tightly around His dick and licked His balls while He shoved His cock between them and sucked and licked... and then He put her on top of Him and made her sit all the way down on His dick, and laughed at her and told her she wasn't allowed to cry... and flipped her over onto her back and fucked the living daylights out of her ass. she always felt like she was just a short way from being able to make herself like it, but at the same time, she was pleasing her Master and that was more important, she wanted to please Him first, enjoy it second. He absolutely loved it when He came... I don't knwo what was different but He said it was the best sex He'd ever had.
I had a bad dream last night - it was the water-boarding scene, but I could only remember the scary stuff and the sad and upset parts and shame and ... Daddy didn't want me to talk about it then, but it is important to me that i get it out somewhere because I don't want it to stay inside me, I want it out of me so I stop thinking about it.
In a puddle gasping, can't breathe, and he says it's over, and I reach up and beg him not to end the scene - I'll confess I'll say whatever you want, just don't end it, don't give up. -
I never told Him that I asked major to take a shower with em while we were on the couch for aftercare. I was so cold and drenched and cold to the bone and wanted a warm/hot shower, but I didn't want to be alone, that was scarier than anything. and I asked, and then I heard in his voice that i'd done/said something wrong in the way he laughed when he said no... he wanted a cigarette and would come get me after I took a shower...
And I'm sitting in the bathtub, the water running over my face and hair and down my back, and I know I need to get up and wash my hair - i'm covered in dirt and black specks- and I just can't bring myself to do it. I don't even know why I got in the shower now, because I haven't done anything to clean up. I haven't soaped up or shaved or done anything but sit there in the water, and I feel so useless and lazy...
And I'm sitting on the washing machine, wrapped in a towel with my knees tucked up to my chest. I had some vague notion that i should cover up, and that's the only reason I'm holding it. I would have preferred to be naked, but I would have embarrassed someone. I giggle when I think that someone might mistake it for an empty bathroom and come in to use it. Then I am down again, deep, thinking about the trouble I'd be in if they found me, or if major came to the bathroom and knocked and gave me away. It's dark, and i prefer it that way, and I just sit and breathe and don't think of anything after that.major comes in and tells me i scared him because i was hiding. I get downa dn go with him and gt really clumbsy and stupid putting on clothes. I don't want a water... I've had enough! and I drink just a few sips of coke even though I'm really thirsty - it still scares me some, and part of me thinks he's going to tip the can up and make me choke/drown/suffer all over again.
I keep telling him I could switch and pull myself back if I have to, or if he'd prefer, that I just don't want to. I don't know if I even really believe it myself, but I'm trying hard to convince myself that it's true.
and then it's time for him to go scene with other people. i don't want it to be over yet, and I try to stay near him as much as possible, -i have a blanket around me now, where'd it come from?- but so many people keep talking.
and it's cold and wet and I'm in the floor in a puddle trying to breathe, and people are laughing and it's cold and there's a cookie and I try to spit it out but it just gets worse and i gag and cough and sputter and can't breathe and there's so much water...
And I realize I'm awake, in bed, and there's nothing wrong but I can't breathe and I've been whimpering and I want to be held but I want to call major and tell him that I never want to do that again, and I stop myself and sit up, and stop to think. major is with destiny and doesn't need to deal with something stupid like this, it was just a bad dream, i don't really need aftercare all over again, I just need a shower. I'll go take a shower, and maybe I won't bother anyone else -He's asleep isn't He? and then He's not and I'm being held and covered with blankets and love and told nice things and loved on and it makes the fear go away, even if it doesn't make the breathing slow. After a while I go take the shower and don't wash anything, and go to bed - this time I can sleep and I'm safe and comforted.
and I gave Him a smurf blowjob, I saw it on a post of things not to do to your dom, and I thought I'll try it one day, and then He wanted a blowjob and it was priceless! so I did. and in two fell sucks He knew something was wrong and was so fucking pissed.
I was tied to the bed and fucked... and it was a-fucking-mazing. He didn't use a condom for the first few minutes, He kept telling me He was going to cum inside me, He loves making me beg, sometimes I wonder if He'd love making me cry. Sometimes that makes me horny, but I don't know who that thought would be hot to. I haven't gotten to be tied down in so long, and He let me strugle once I was down, and He hurt me and I didn't think I could take it but I had to, and then He fucked me and told me to try to get loose, and I did and I couldn't do anything about it, I was helpless and nothing I'd done in the past to keep myself out of this situation had done me any good, I was doomed - I was powerless to stop Him from doing whatever he wanted to me, even if He had wanted to take my ass, there was nothing I could have done about it, and if He'd wanted me to be quiet it would have only taken a pillow or the time to shove something in my mouth and tie it there and I would have been completely quiet, imobile and helpless. It was the hottest sex I've ever had
The day before that, He fucked Lauren in the ass. And apparently that was the hottest sex He'd even had. She really didn't want to, but she did everythign He asked, she sucked His cock while He rimmed her asshole and pussy at His will, and then she held her breasts tightly around His dick and licked His balls while He shoved His cock between them and sucked and licked... and then He put her on top of Him and made her sit all the way down on His dick, and laughed at her and told her she wasn't allowed to cry... and flipped her over onto her back and fucked the living daylights out of her ass. she always felt like she was just a short way from being able to make herself like it, but at the same time, she was pleasing her Master and that was more important, she wanted to please Him first, enjoy it second. He absolutely loved it when He came... I don't knwo what was different but He said it was the best sex He'd ever had.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Response to" bitching about how hard life is, AKA teen angst"
The bathtub already drained slowly. now it takes 30 minutes to drain after a 20 minute shower.
The mop ended up in the kitchen, twice. In the sink twice. Random places several times.
Then, when she did put the mop beside the toilet where I've told her it goes multiple times, she didn't bother to make sure it was clean, and there were some pretty nasty bugs as well as flies because she didn't follow orders.
I've rinsed the mop behind her at least 3 times without saying anything, but this time I was upset. So Master and I discussed what to do about it. He said we would tell her exactly what we wanted, write it down, type it out, and have her sign it. Then, He said to put the mop outside and she could clean it when she got home from work. He and I had been arguing, so He was outside and didn't talk to her (Blink was out when she came home, and i think she got offended because I didn't speak to her, but blink doesn't talk) about it until the next morning. We (I went, too) ended up being late to His Dr appointment because He took the time to fully explain what was expected of her, especially regarding the mop before we left.
We got home and everything was great and He gave both of us treats. Then I went to take a shower... and the bathtub looked like someone had bathed a homeless guy in it. The whole tub was coated in dirt. I spent at least 10 minutes trying to get all the dirt to drain, as well as a scrub brush and a spray cleaner to get it unstuck, even though I knew it was from the mop (that Master told her to wash in the sink!) because I wanted to keep the peace.
It makes me so angry, because I feel like I have to go behind her and clean up after her every time I ask her to do something! If I ask her to wash clothes, I have to empty the lint trap. If I ask her to do dishes, I have to put the rag in the dirty clothes and make sure she has a clean one before she starts, or she'll wash the dishes with a rag that has been soured for 3 days. If I tell her to "make sure you X before you move on to the next thing" she nods, agrees, and then immediately forgets to do it.
None of this would have been a big deal, and she wouldn't be having such a hard time, if she would follow the instructions given to her instead of doing everything her way every time she's told to do something.
What I want her to learn from this is that we expect her to do it right the first time, or else she'll have to 1) put up with the consequences of doing it wrong, and 2) have to redo it or fix it later.It's better to take longer doing something and make sure you do it right than to cut corners and have a hubcap fall off later. I learned this at an early age, and I learned it here:
Colossians 3:23
And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not to men;
When I do something, anything, I'm doing it for God. He doesn't want me to hurry up and finish so I can go take a nap before lunch! He wants me to do it right so I can take pride in my work. He knows my intentions, and He doesn't accept anything less than my best. He doesn't expect perfect, but He does expect me to try my hardest. (The "He" here is referring to God.)
I understand that Jessi doesn't necessarily see this my way, but it is important that she see why it is such a strong principal in my life, and why I'm so strict about it.
Rinsing the Mop
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Even with everything that's been going on, I've been so proud of her, because she's been coping well every time He tells her something. She hasn't been getting upset and shutting down, she's continued functioning and dealt with the issue when it came up.
AND THEN!!!
There was another opportunity for her to behave well!
Major, jessi, and I went out to the flea market. Master had work (He came home early today because He had a seizure at work, [it's been bad all day] BTW just so that you are fully in the loop here about why we're not going home like you want, j) and so it was another opportunity for her to show that she was learning, and trying and could be obedient.
and she quit playing with us. Major and I were both in a good mood and playing and picking and such, and she stayed very quiet, several paces behind us the whole time (I stayed close to major a lot because I was having problems hearing what he said [I've been sick, it's sinuses and congestion, which affects hearing] and Jessi wasn't really talking, so staying near her would have been pointless). At the restaraunt she refused to do something because it wasn't fair. It wasn't about it being fair anymore, it was about her obeying what I told her to do repeatedly. Also, she made various excuses ranging from "I can't think of anything" to "It's not fair and I refuse" which pretty much spells out that she didn't want to, rather than telling me she actually believed it wasn't fair.
Questioning someone is questioning no matter whether it is "important" (importance is relative!) or not... and BTW if it was important, she would have said, "I questioned her because it was important!"
she never tried to call shotgun... and i don't know if she thinks there's a rule about this (the rule is she can't call shotgun in Master's car, because she said she gets to ride shotgun in her car always since it's her car. If she get's a permanent shotgun in one specific vehicle, Master says that it's fair that I should get a permanent shotgun in our car.) but it was major's car, and I have no problem riding in the back if she actually plays the shotgun game with me.
This didn't ruin the whole trip out with Major, but it really put a damper on things because I feel like she does these things out of spite to be disrespectful since "Master isn't here, so you can't make me do it"
I've been patient so far. It's starting to run out, and when I start discipline for disrespect, she's really going to start having a rough time of it.
---------------------------
OH! I haven't had a "decent scene with Master" since before Jessi moved in! Every time He wants to scene with me, I tell Him that she needs it more than I do, that it will help her more than it will help me, she needs the pain more often, and I know she uses it for that a lot... but I really miss scening with Him, too.
I had already told her to clean the mop after mopping. I showed her how to do it 2 times, so I know I've told her at least 3.
I told her where the mop is supposed to go after it has been drained. The mop ended up in the kitchen, twice. In the sink twice. Random places several times.
Then, when she did put the mop beside the toilet where I've told her it goes multiple times, she didn't bother to make sure it was clean, and there were some pretty nasty bugs as well as flies because she didn't follow orders.
I've rinsed the mop behind her at least 3 times without saying anything, but this time I was upset. So Master and I discussed what to do about it. He said we would tell her exactly what we wanted, write it down, type it out, and have her sign it. Then, He said to put the mop outside and she could clean it when she got home from work. He and I had been arguing, so He was outside and didn't talk to her (Blink was out when she came home, and i think she got offended because I didn't speak to her, but blink doesn't talk) about it until the next morning. We (I went, too) ended up being late to His Dr appointment because He took the time to fully explain what was expected of her, especially regarding the mop before we left.
We got home and everything was great and He gave both of us treats. Then I went to take a shower... and the bathtub looked like someone had bathed a homeless guy in it. The whole tub was coated in dirt. I spent at least 10 minutes trying to get all the dirt to drain, as well as a scrub brush and a spray cleaner to get it unstuck, even though I knew it was from the mop (that Master told her to wash in the sink!) because I wanted to keep the peace.
It makes me so angry, because I feel like I have to go behind her and clean up after her every time I ask her to do something! If I ask her to wash clothes, I have to empty the lint trap. If I ask her to do dishes, I have to put the rag in the dirty clothes and make sure she has a clean one before she starts, or she'll wash the dishes with a rag that has been soured for 3 days. If I tell her to "make sure you X before you move on to the next thing" she nods, agrees, and then immediately forgets to do it.
None of this would have been a big deal, and she wouldn't be having such a hard time, if she would follow the instructions given to her instead of doing everything her way every time she's told to do something.
What I want her to learn from this is that we expect her to do it right the first time, or else she'll have to 1) put up with the consequences of doing it wrong, and 2) have to redo it or fix it later.It's better to take longer doing something and make sure you do it right than to cut corners and have a hubcap fall off later. I learned this at an early age, and I learned it here:
Colossians 3:23
And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not to men;
When I do something, anything, I'm doing it for God. He doesn't want me to hurry up and finish so I can go take a nap before lunch! He wants me to do it right so I can take pride in my work. He knows my intentions, and He doesn't accept anything less than my best. He doesn't expect perfect, but He does expect me to try my hardest. (The "He" here is referring to God.)
I understand that Jessi doesn't necessarily see this my way, but it is important that she see why it is such a strong principal in my life, and why I'm so strict about it.
Rinsing the Mop
- Fill sink with hot but not scalding water.
- Place mop in water.
- Move mop in a plunger motion until water is dirty.
- Drain water from sink.
- Repeat steps One through Four until water in sink remains clean.
- Allow mop to drain in sink for a maximum of 15 minutes
- Place mop beside toilet
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Even with everything that's been going on, I've been so proud of her, because she's been coping well every time He tells her something. She hasn't been getting upset and shutting down, she's continued functioning and dealt with the issue when it came up.
AND THEN!!!
There was another opportunity for her to behave well!
Major, jessi, and I went out to the flea market. Master had work (He came home early today because He had a seizure at work, [it's been bad all day] BTW just so that you are fully in the loop here about why we're not going home like you want, j) and so it was another opportunity for her to show that she was learning, and trying and could be obedient.
and she quit playing with us. Major and I were both in a good mood and playing and picking and such, and she stayed very quiet, several paces behind us the whole time (I stayed close to major a lot because I was having problems hearing what he said [I've been sick, it's sinuses and congestion, which affects hearing] and Jessi wasn't really talking, so staying near her would have been pointless). At the restaraunt she refused to do something because it wasn't fair. It wasn't about it being fair anymore, it was about her obeying what I told her to do repeatedly. Also, she made various excuses ranging from "I can't think of anything" to "It's not fair and I refuse" which pretty much spells out that she didn't want to, rather than telling me she actually believed it wasn't fair.
Questioning someone is questioning no matter whether it is "important" (importance is relative!) or not... and BTW if it was important, she would have said, "I questioned her because it was important!"
she never tried to call shotgun... and i don't know if she thinks there's a rule about this (the rule is she can't call shotgun in Master's car, because she said she gets to ride shotgun in her car always since it's her car. If she get's a permanent shotgun in one specific vehicle, Master says that it's fair that I should get a permanent shotgun in our car.) but it was major's car, and I have no problem riding in the back if she actually plays the shotgun game with me.
This didn't ruin the whole trip out with Major, but it really put a damper on things because I feel like she does these things out of spite to be disrespectful since "Master isn't here, so you can't make me do it"
I've been patient so far. It's starting to run out, and when I start discipline for disrespect, she's really going to start having a rough time of it.
---------------------------
OH! I haven't had a "decent scene with Master" since before Jessi moved in! Every time He wants to scene with me, I tell Him that she needs it more than I do, that it will help her more than it will help me, she needs the pain more often, and I know she uses it for that a lot... but I really miss scening with Him, too.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
people in my head and my associations
Sydney
Blue
original
sincere
decisions
editor
writer
painter
creative
Emily
red
resistance
earned submission
drown
whore
slut
cookie
humiliation
tough
alpha
cum dumpster
lists
Candy
pink
shy
sweetheart
gentle
kind
soft-spoken
giggle
quiet
nail polish
klepto - little thief
shiny
snuggle
child
girly
Susy
orange
"cookies"
troublemaker
ticklish
games child
daisy chain
outspoken
"I can haz a gum?"Blink
blue
mute
fun
playing games
funny
child
exhibitionist
Danny
Gray
serial killer
sadistic
planning
Lauren
Green
Passive sadist
submissive
coffee
calm
levelheaded
unbiased
reasonable
headache
soft-spoken
pink lipstick
reference guide
hates gum
hates noise
Vicki
Domme
Purple
challenge
balls
sadistic
bites
Melissa
obedient to her Master, haughty to everyone else
gets off on pleasing Him
submissive
property
Gin
Vanilla
rough
aggressive
Phiar
red-orange "crimson"
Exhibitionist
wild
fire
strong
Sands
undecided
confused
Jokes
"If I do 200mph, will you take off your clothes?" he asked. "Yes!" said his adventurous girlfriend. And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes.
Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and
flipped over. The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath
the steering wheel. "Go and get help!" he cried. "But I can't. I'm naked and my clothes are gone!" "Take my shoe", he said, "and cover yourself." Holding the shoe over her pubes, the girl ran down the road and found a
service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to
the service station proprietor, "Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!" The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, "There's nothing I can
do...he's in too far."
------------------------------------------------------
A man walks into a psychiatrist's office,,,,,
wearing only underwear made of Saran Wrap......
The psychiatrist says, ‘Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.”
-----------------------------------------
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your balls motherf**ker this ain't no ordinary blowjob. teehehe
---------------------------
My girlfriend and I were having sex the other day when she looked at me and said, "Make love to me like in the movies." The Game.
So I fucked her in the ass, pulled out, and came all over her face and hair.
I guess we don't watch the same movies.
------------------------------
an Eskimo on a driving holiday in Wales, car breaks down, mechanic says "you've blown a seal" she replies "yeh and you shag sheep but what's wrong with the car?"
--------------------
Once upon a time there lived a king.
The king had a beautiful daughter, The PRINCESS..
But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.
No matter what;
Metal,
Wood,
Stone,
Anything she touched would melt.
Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.
The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?
He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king,
'If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured.' The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan.
The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth...
THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE.
The first brought a sword of the finest steel.
But alas, when the princess touched it, it melted.
The prince went away sadly .
The second prince brought diamonds.
He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt.
But alas, once the princess touched them, they melted.
He too was sent away disappointed.
The third prince approached. He told the princess,
'Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there.'
The princess did as she was told, though she turned red .
She felt something hard. She held it in her hand.
And it did not melt!!!
The king was overjoyed Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed. !
And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after.
Question: What was in the prince's pants?
M&M's of course.
They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
----------------------------
Woman says, "Wanna hear a joke about my vagina? ......... Oh never mind, you won't get it."
The chief took the baby to the missionary to explain since he was the only white person in the village.
Trying to find a way to explain, he pointed out into the field by the village.
"It's like this. Do you see that black sheep out there in the middle of all those white ones?"
"Oh, I see." said the chief.
"I not mention the baby, and you not mention the sheep."
Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and
flipped over. The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath
the steering wheel. "Go and get help!" he cried. "But I can't. I'm naked and my clothes are gone!" "Take my shoe", he said, "and cover yourself." Holding the shoe over her pubes, the girl ran down the road and found a
service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to
the service station proprietor, "Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!" The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, "There's nothing I can
do...he's in too far."
------------------------------------------------------
A man walks into a psychiatrist's office,,,,,
wearing only underwear made of Saran Wrap......
The psychiatrist says, ‘Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.”
-----------------------------------------
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your balls motherf**ker this ain't no ordinary blowjob. teehehe
---------------------------
My girlfriend and I were having sex the other day when she looked at me and said, "Make love to me like in the movies." The Game.
So I fucked her in the ass, pulled out, and came all over her face and hair.
I guess we don't watch the same movies.
------------------------------
an Eskimo on a driving holiday in Wales, car breaks down, mechanic says "you've blown a seal" she replies "yeh and you shag sheep but what's wrong with the car?"
--------------------
Once upon a time there lived a king.
The king had a beautiful daughter, The PRINCESS..
But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.
No matter what;
Metal,
Wood,
Stone,
Anything she touched would melt.
Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.
The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?
He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king,
'If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured.' The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan.
The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth...
THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE.
The first brought a sword of the finest steel.
But alas, when the princess touched it, it melted.
The prince went away sadly .
The second prince brought diamonds.
He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt.
But alas, once the princess touched them, they melted.
He too was sent away disappointed.
The third prince approached. He told the princess,
'Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there.'
The princess did as she was told, though she turned red .
She felt something hard. She held it in her hand.
And it did not melt!!!
The king was overjoyed Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed. !
And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after.
Question: What was in the prince's pants?
M&M's of course.
They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
----------------------------
Woman says, "Wanna hear a joke about my vagina? ......... Oh never mind, you won't get it."
Man says, "Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind, it's too long."
--------------------------
A woman gave birth to a white baby in an african village.--------------------------
The chief took the baby to the missionary to explain since he was the only white person in the village.
Trying to find a way to explain, he pointed out into the field by the village.
"It's like this. Do you see that black sheep out there in the middle of all those white ones?"
"Oh, I see." said the chief.
"I not mention the baby, and you not mention the sheep."
from a group I'm in
"bobby pin on each nipple and "lower lip" for 5 minutes per 50 words the essay was short"
Flea Market
we went to the flea market today, Master and i didn't go on Thursday like Jessi thought we did, we got a school-desk at the flea market, $10 and then major took us out to lunch. Master gave me $10 to spend if I saw anything for the dungeon, but I didn't see anything I was interested in, and so I'm waiting on talking to Daddy to see if He thinks I should give major the $10 He gave me or save it to feed us or something else later. Supposed to spend it on Jessi and I if I couldn't find anything else, but... I'm fighting really hard not to keep it for selfish things, (like a memory card for my camera, the one I've got is still messing up after I formatted it) and so I just haven't spent it yet.
Jessi has started to be a bit -blah- around us again, and it's really frustrating, because it seems like every time I'm proud of her, she senses it and decides to try and be the alpha again. she refused to do a sex noise because she said it "wasn't fair" that she lost or something. so she owes like 4 (she's still been saying colors, so she didn't quit, she's just not keeping up her end of it) and when susy told her to make one she rolled her eyes and made an excuse about not having any good ones. she thinks I'll forget, and she should know better by now. I feel like she won't listen to me without questioning everything I say when Master isn't around. major reminded her once to just trust me, and it bothered me that he had to step in and say something for her to stop asking questions about everything.
Jessi has started to be a bit -blah- around us again, and it's really frustrating, because it seems like every time I'm proud of her, she senses it and decides to try and be the alpha again. she refused to do a sex noise because she said it "wasn't fair" that she lost or something. so she owes like 4 (she's still been saying colors, so she didn't quit, she's just not keeping up her end of it) and when susy told her to make one she rolled her eyes and made an excuse about not having any good ones. she thinks I'll forget, and she should know better by now. I feel like she won't listen to me without questioning everything I say when Master isn't around. major reminded her once to just trust me, and it bothered me that he had to step in and say something for her to stop asking questions about everything.
Blog (since pc is being hogged)
Blog (Since the pc is being hogged)
-Lauren -Susy
June 17 2011
Internet has been really slow, and Master has been very permissive about my blog. Also, I haven't been home much with free time to be allowed to blog. If I am online, I have to send about 30 messages (cookie cutter, but I have to make it) to people in the group about the upcoming dungeon party (1 week from today)
4/5 nights ago, my ears were pierced. -major
3 days ago, he got laid and jessi and I were publicly trained on our positions - and caned. I have huge bruises.
Major owes me 28 punches and I've told him that if he gets to 30 I'm resetting the count to zero and he gets nothing.
2 days ago I cleaned/helped my mom's basement. she gave me books and kleenex (sinus headache + allergies and the day I helped her was the 2nd day straight).
After some cute puppy pics - penny got her syringe today- a shower (we need draino, tub drains slowly again [I think Jessi cleaned the mop in the tub]), and a change of nail polish/earrings (Green now, Lauren.) I feel much better about life in general.
Other:
Luke is acknowledged, Kyle is helping him.
Forced sorting of legos, not punishment.
Littles party idea
group leader meeting (useless?)
sargent wants to fuck phiar. -- major likes her alot and it's weird.
major fingered phiar and I've been spotting blood randomly since then, bled right after, too. NOT on my period. (the 11th maybe?)
Vacation invite with major and his vanilla family on teh weekend of our honeymoon
Jessi has been getting 5 or less hours at work a weeks. =(
The Box, blink was out, and earrings, too. (she changed the earrings from pink to blue, thought putting the earring in was a magic trick because it went through her ear. she likes the box)
The Box: pics to be posted soon.
reading a book on "parenting" and it has a lot of good insight.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
comments after the party
OMFG what an amazing night. Thank you everyone who come out, helped brought food, and ... all that. Still flying, so ... thank you everyone. •
ears pierced, and comments
Dpolter: I got my ears pierced last night! First piercings ever, and I was so fucking scared. Hurt like a motherfucker. Fuck everyone who says it doesn't hurt to get your ears pierced! They're lying liars!
Monday, June 13, 2011
How A Heart Breaks lyrics with mental scene.... make a blog about.
jessi to do list
copy list from yesterday for blog since internet was down.
floors and laudry today, dishes yesterday
find daddys swim trunks
I want to write and paint today!!! I dunno just painting seems like a cool thing I'd really like to do it today.
jessi to do list
copy list from yesterday for blog since internet was down.
floors and laudry today, dishes yesterday
find daddys swim trunks
I want to write and paint today!!! I dunno just painting seems like a cool thing I'd really like to do it today.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
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