1/1/12
I am to walk the dogs by myself all day today. He told me to do this because He knows I don't want to do it. It's a task that is especially unpleasant for me, as I don't like the cold, and also, i hurt my wrist at the new years eve party so I will have to walk them left-handed. It's a service that He knows will remind me of my place, and will also serve to prove again that I am His, and will do anything for Him, and will suffer for Him willingly.
---Journal entry to be read while Master drinks His coffee, to be written the night before and published the next morning. (technically I only wrote the above paragraph yesterday for reasons to be listed below.)---
We went out and bought my uniform yesterday. We spent around $45 on panties ($15), socks ($10) and sweatpants ($10). We also bought Master a lego building plate, the gray one. We weren't planning on leaving the house, but I really wanted Him to get a haircut to start us off right for a new, stricter training "motif." Of course, the haircut place was closed. We ate out at Atlanta Bread Company. It was good, but not as awesome as I'd hoped. After all that, we went to gamestop to use Master's gift card ($40). He decided on a PC game, Sims 3 + the Supernatural Expansion. We ended up paying $15 for it after the gift card.
We completely overlooked the buying groceries so I can make dinner tonight per protocol. I didn't even remember until we'd been home an hour.
I made a really ugly bracelet for my Nana with my leather. I really like my new leather scissors, but they will take some getting used to. Master gave a keychain, a blush brush, a set of finger floggers and one of the floggers I made to Eos and Drew. They're sort of new. She's not, but he is new to the impact play part of it. They're really nice and ready to learn, so I'm glad that He thought of it. I do have to make new ones now, though. Sigh. Guess I'll have to start doing leather in my free time instead of wow. At least the majority anyway.
We went ahead and did our "inspection" last night. It was amazing. He put me in Position 2, and we talked about the day, sort of. He helped bring both of us to a strong Master/slave mindset, and then let me snuggle with him in bed. After a brief misunderstanding in which Susy was very loyal to her Kyle-Bear, Mikkal decided He really did want sex; anal. "I wish I had raped you in another life." And then, in a very matter of fact, owner-like way, He took me. I had to keep my arms under my stomach because if I hadn't I would have hurt my wrist even worse, and there was no question of getting out of it. I begged and screamed until He made me give Him my legs, at which point He put my feet beside my hips, and I was overwhelmed by all the pain, and couldn't make any noise anymore. I also sort of went blank, as if no one was home in my head. Then He flipped me onto my back, shoved His dirty cock into my pussy a few times to clean it off I guess, and then went back to anal. At first I tried to tell Him He had the wrong hole, and that's when He laughed at me and did it on purpose. "Now this is masturbating." That was when I started to get turned on, and realized I'd been staring at the ceiling since no one had been home. I went back to china doll mode (lol) and stayed still until He finished, pulled out, kissed me, and told me to get the - out of His bed.
I was surprised that he took me. I feel like I've been trying to show Him that I'm His slave for so long, that it seems weird to hear him tell it. I'm so happy for it though. Even if the sex wasn't exactly what I wanted, i still wanted it. That's really the point, to be honest. I want Him to use me when I don't want it, even more than I want Him to have sex with me when i do. If I don't want it, then he knows how much I love Him and He knows how much I respect and desire to please my Master when i do it anyway.
Immediately after sex (and aftercare, yay!) He went back to playing Sims 3 which is why I had to do my journal entry this morning instead of last night.
To do Today:
Groceries
Trash Day
Dusty Love
Kit says he'll call when he gets a chance.
please throw away pot roast
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