Sela started being in heat today. She has been having accidents in the house the past few days, so I guess it's good that we know why now. I bathed Sela today! She was in a much better mood after that.
We were out of the house most of the day today. Master didn't really want to come home. We bought me some spike collar studs. 3 bags of them. (60 total) It was a real bummer when I finally realized I couldn't use them because we still haven't found my hammer. (It's been missing since before Christmas)
Before we left the house for breakfast, Master interrogated me to find out where I put the rope bag, since He promised to tie me down while we had our presentation of writing assignment. BLOODY HELL. He sent me to get His socks, and when i came back holding the white ones and the navy blue ones, He was behind a corner and tightened a belt around my neck. I managed to hand Him the pair of socks anyway before He dragged me to the living room floor and used another belt to tie my ankles together (my hands were preoccupied with making sure I didn't get choked out). I remember the belts changing a lot, and a lot of pain, but the only actual thing he used that I remember was a lego transport tube for mini lego aliens. Here's another pic, where they're not orange. I still (as of 12+ hours later) have the tread marks on my legs. There are already bruises on my legs and ass and maybe my back from them. I know there were other things used in my torture and interrogation, but that's all I remember. He eventually got me to say that it was at least in the bedroom, and then He dragged me in there by my hair and made me lead Him to it. What broke me to telling Him was that He suddenly started stroking my skin gently, and speaking softly to me. I melted. I had a few more painful swats to lead me toward it, and then I got the rope bag, opened it up and showed Him the rope, and gave it to Him. The next second I was being swarmed with hugs and love and comfort.
During the interrogation, I remember His hand in mine to hold it down, and He was hurting me with the other, and I felt His hand making the "I love you" sign, and I suddenly felt closer to Him than I ever had before. Sometimes when He was hurting me I would curl up close to Him and for just a few moments I had my head on His chest and felt safe and protected, even DURING the pain. It was an absolutely amazing feeling.
(Favorite interrogation play group )
We went to a steakhouse, and Lace ate half of her steak and half of His. His was med rare and somewhat cold. Hers was medium well and too tough. She heard Him say that His was almost cold and she completely switched. Before it was me and her (emily and lace). But as soon as He said that, it was like all of her senses blossomed. He handed it over and she fought bravely to eat politely. He was impressed that she ate what He said counted as a rare steak. She thought she was going to hurl on the way home, because she stuffed so much food in, but she didn't really mind. She felt like a "pup" (as He called her) that had just overstuffed, and wasn't ashamed to empty to whatever level she needed to.
When we got home, after another shower and some other things, He tied me down to talk, like He promised. He took pictures of the ropework He did on me. My hands were above my head, and my legs were Indian-style without being crossed, so butterflied. I was lying on my back on the bed-futon and the same rope that tied my wrists together above my head was the rope that pulled my legs spread. He took pictures, and then went out of the room for a few minutes. My arms were already sore from being over my head. He teased and tortured me a few minutes, rubbing and flicking my sensitive areas. I was only wearing socks and panties. I screamed and squirmed but it felt great. While He was gone I just relaxed into the rope and really enjoyed it. I wanted sex. of course i wanted sex! i've wanted sex all day and we haven't had it, and I was tied with my hands tight and my legs spread! So He cut off a pair of my new pretty panties that i got for my uniform and beginning training. They ended up near/over my face for part of it. He fucked me while I was tied. he untied me a little during so that he could get at me better and for my own comfort I believe. I almost came 3 times. At the very beginning, and then when he told em i could and then it slipped out so i couldn't grip and I started crying. and also I came at the very very end, when He finally let me come for real. I was afraid He was having a hard time getting off, because we'd stopped randomly in the middle so many times (Once He completely stopped and asked me about what i wanted as a slave and my mind went completely blank and He just laughed at me). I realized i wanted His dick in my mouth, so i asked if He wanted to come on my face, with my mouth open. He said He liked that idea. Ask. Wha-? Ask Me. I repeated it, apparently the wrong way. (He kept fucking me while I asked, so i thought He was working up to coming on me.) I didn't completely want it at first. I did, in my innermost urges and horniness and slave mind, but I didn't because i knew it is something I don't like, and it's yucky and gross. I asked several times, and finally my last attempt was begging. i begged Him to please sit on my chest and come on my face, with my mouth open, to squirt cum on my lips and into my mouth. "No. You don't deserve it." And he came inside me.
I've never been so upset to actually have Him come inside me before. I was throbbing inside, but I wanted nothing more than for Him to pull out of my cunt, sit on my chest, and start jerking off on my face. I don't deserve it. I was humiliated. Really, actually humiliated. I was shocked and stunned and horrified that He'd turned me down. If I hadn't been shell-shocked I would have been sobbing. I wanted to cry. Humiliated. I immediately started wondering how I could earn it. I was amazingly turned on by it. It wasn't the falling horrible sinking feeling I get when my mood shifts downward and I normally cry while horny or during sex. it was a humiliated crying. It was GOOD. It blew my mind, and i was very confused and numb for a while, and then I burst into giggling and crying at the same time. I -wanted- to cry for Him at this point, so that he could enjoy what he had done to me as much as i was enjoying it. I want to cry during sex, for His enjoyment. I want Him to be able to make me cry, make me ashamed and humiliated during sex, because I know my Master would love it. He would feel empowered and He would know that I am His, that He can do -anything- to me. I crave the opportunity to prove to my Master that I will suffer to make him smile.
I think that's the first time He's made me cry during play, in a humiliating fashion. Normally I know that he's just saying something to make me wet, so it doesn't embarrass or humiliate me. Somehow this struck a chord and I believe Him. I don't know, but i honestly feel that I don't deserve it. I know how much He wants this, and for Him to resist doing it to me when i 95%+ want it really proves in my mind that I'm not good enough for it yet.
Today was too perfect. I got heavy duty pain, humiliation, tied down (to something), and fucked. Also, i was useful to my Master. I'm going to bed happy.
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