structure

I need intense structure. Like I need a rule for everything i fucking do.

take pain pills when you're hurting.
eat when you're hungry.
shower every day.
dont eat your gum.

you know, I know I can get away with a lot. and I do. I get away with a ton of things that ARE RULES, that I'm not supposed to get away with. I don't blog daily, but that's ok because He doesn't read it daily. I mean when's He going to notice any of this is there's no real interest in my life, goals, or progress?

Sometimes I feel like He needs a dom as much as I do. It pisses me off to see the level of not-doing-things-we've-agreed-to-do-ness that He sinks to when I don't nag (which I hate to do).
Why are we paying for Noy's WoW?
Penny = motor oil bath
Roosevelt's WoW
Halloween decorations back to cab
Dog's shots/fixed
car inspection


I guess that me presenting a token of my submission in the morning isn't going to fly anymore. He used a toy on me today and I failed miserably at the whole submission thing, and He found the rope and handed it back to me and said I lied. If I present anything to Him tomorrow I don't see why He would accept it. I can't present, and I can't not-present. Anyway, since it didn't "ground" me to help me be obedient, there's no point in doing it anyway, i guess.

and withholding sex and getting mad at me for wanting it while I'm on my period, horny, and in pain that can be fixed by having sex is really really not fair.


so tired. cant sleep.