fixed-it

I'm glad everything worked out. I really missed the structure, and I was hurting both of us by being stubborn. If He hadn't fixed it, I don't know how long we would have held out. The stress was really getting to Him, and I wasn't going to eat until something changed. (I wanted to cut, but settled for not eating, instead. It's easier to fix later, and still gives me the pain I need.)

I thought he would be more strict about rules once we were back into it, but I think He's forgotten a lot of the things I'm supposed to be doing other than this writing thing. It's gotten a lot of emphasis lately, so that's cool. I haven't made my goal yet since day 2 and today is day 5.... So I need to really start pushing myself again to make sure that I make this happen. No one else can do it for me, and it's really important. He promised that if I get Him a novel, He will do everything in His power to see that it gets the attention it deserves. That means a lot to me. I was calling it a book until a few days ago and then He said "novel" and it made me almost want to cry, I was so excited. I hadn't thought of it in that way - Novel is such a bigger task than just "book".

Yeah, both of us figured Major was going to end up playing a part in this argument. Not because it was about or involved him, but because he's still in a protector role, and since I was out of my Master's direct influence/control temporarily, Major would be the next step down, the person I had to listen to. That means that it would be his job to make sure I still listen to the rules that had already been put into place by my Master. Master's idea was to have Major tell me to stay still while He put my anklet on me. (Which is kinda cheating, but I would have respected it if I was given an order to submit to Him).