random bitching

I'm getting so sick and tired of eating chocolate all the damn time. But I'm craving it. How the hell does that work?

Nothing sits right with me. I feel ugly, dirty, clutzy, awkward, and stupid.

And I know I've been moody, bitchy, and downright mean.

I'm horny, I hurt, and my mind seems to want to remind me of all the times I've ever fucked up. The little things  that no one else remembers or noticed, but they bring out some of the strongest curl up and cry emotions I have. I never expect it, they always just push in, and I find yelling at the mirror, mid-sentence, red with embarrassment.

Master and i are having yet another conflict, but emotions now have nothing to do with it. It will be over either tonight or tomorrow.

I wish I could just crawl in the box for a few days. I've been fighting the urge to go hide in the corner of the closet since the start of my cycle.

But I really need to just focus and get some things done.