This is the 5th day in a row that Jenn has sent me an affirmation, or checked in, or tried to cheer me up.
I did not tell her anything about our relationship, I did not tell her we broke up, I did not talk to her about it or ask for advice.
And yet!!!
She knows everything that’s going on with the breakup, and is trying to “comfort” me. I sent a message saying I wasn’t emotionally available to talk, and she continues messaging me, at least once every day.
She knows everything because Nell is telling her everything. And Nell says she has no idea what’s going on or why I’m “so mad at her”.
So basically Jenn is fact-hunting to find answers for Nell, but instead of admitting that, she’s messaging me every day.
It’s a constant reminder of the breakup. It’s a constant point of contact from Nell that I can’t break because it’s a PERSON.
I finally directly asked her to give me space instead of just saying “I don’t want to talk” or just saying “thank you” every time she messages.
And I’m annoyed that I had to, but also afraid of how she will react, if she will be angry with me for asking her to leave me alone for a while.
It’s just so NOT OK that my whole relationship with Nell is now known to her. That instead of saying, “Emily is a private person, please don’t gossip to me about her” she fucking listened to this person she’s only met once tell her all of the personal details about our relationship. And then FLEW OVER TO ME HOPING TO DRINK UP MORE DRAMA.
Relly talked to Jen last night, and told me that Jenn already knew (within 24 hours) that I had blocked N on everything.
I am doing what I need to do for MY mental health and I feel like N still found a way to make sure I’m reminded of her EVERY DAY.
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