T3WD Vendor Fair

 Sunday September 17 2023 4:50 AM 

T3WD Vendor Fair 

This past week has been complete chaos! We have had an appointment or event or something scheduled almost every day! And around all those appointments, I’ve been working on making toys for the vendor fair.  (And I started my period on Monday and have been in a lot of pain.)

I’ve rolled and stapled toys up to Tuesday I think. (And glued caps!) 

Wednesday we had plumbers over to fix a leak. I cut corset squares for all the toys (chose colors to match them).

Thursday I dotted all the holes, punched the holes, added grommets, and laced all the toys. 

R and I got the soup into the crock pot. 

R had a cardiology appointment, and afterward spent a few hours getting the car washed and vacuuming it out really thoroughly. It looks so much better. No more gross pollen and dirt caked on the car with cat paw prints on the hood. I hadn’t even mentioned to him how much I wanted it done. It means so much to me to have it clean(er). 

He had a Leather History board meeting from 8 PM - 10:30 PM. 

I had 2 hard ciders, and we ended up having a really bad fight. I was way more upset than I should have been about things, and said and did stupid hurtful shit. I refused my bedtime protocol, I made my blog private, I thought about cutting my hair, I seriously considered quitting my D&D character Vivika. I felt like everything I cared about was over, or worthless. That feeling lasted through Friday night, and some of Saturday morning. 

I woke up in the middle of the night like I usually do, and R got up with me and made me peppermint tea, and gave me chocolate chunk cookies, and set up the heating pad in my bed, and made my bed for me (he straightens my blankets for me every night!), and tucked me in and gave me my protocol in bed. I felt so fucking loved. He wasn’t mad at me from our fight at all. He is so good to me, even when I make no sense. 

Friday: 

I tightened all the laces, added all the toys to my inventory sheets, R typed up the sheets, added SKU tags to the new toys, packed all the toys for the event, broke down the racks for the event.  

I was really down, and had a hard time making myself pack and do the work that needed to be done. I didn’t see a point in it. It felt futile. 

Saturday was the T3WD Vendor Fair. 

I woke up at 5 AM to pack and finish getting ready for the event. We didn’t leave until 9:30 AM. We arrived at the event 11:40 AM (set-up started at 11, event started at 12, we left the house 30 minutes behind schedule) and we’re about 10 minutes late getting set up. 

Honey was really good! She whined a few times but mostly napped and got pets and belt rubs the whole day. I was really nervous and panicky the first few hours. R’s vape broke around 3 PM. We made 5 sales, and about $400 after gas and food and the vendor fee (event $30 and PayPal $20 fees), not counting leather costs or time spent crafting etc. (so realistically about $200 profit). 

It was my first kink event and vending event since the pandemic, and a lot of things could have been better, and I was really stressed for a lot of it, but it was really good, too. I’m glad it was my first event back. I made friends with the neighbor vendors. I really liked the paddle guy, he was kinda blunt at first but after a bit I could understand what he meant and he seemed really cool. I loved looking at all the woods he had and trying to remember which types were which. 

The sensual candle vendors were both really sweet too! And all the scents were lovely. If they had regular candles I would have wanted one, but R and I never really do wax play. And those burn faster than not-for-play candles so it isn’t worth it just for the smell. The lady with pink pompom ears (and fun buns) said my work is art. And it made me so fucking happy. It was one of the highlights of the event for me, and reminded me why I make toys. 

One person tried the toys in a way that made me feel really satisfied. She had on a maroon vest and hit her partner with a tapered falls flogger, whip-style, and the face both of them made reminded me how much I love watching my toys be used on people who love/hate them. I’m a passive sadist. I don’t top much, but I adore seeing someone light up with joy and (or) pain from something I’ve made. It makes me giddy. 

Someone said the “I could make that” line about one of my toys during the event, not to me, luckily. R heard it, too. We decided not to sell to them. I was proud of myself, I actually said “rude” toward them, even though no one heard me. (The event had a lot of background noise, and I struggled to make myself heard today. I was too quiet constantly, not on purpose.) 

I really needed this event. It centered me emotionally a lot. By the end of the event I was ok talking to most people, and was sitting in the chair instead of in the floor (anxiety, I feel more comfortable in the floor than up where people will notice me). We didn’t make as many sales as I would have liked, I would have preferred more smaller sales, but a lot of people recommended other events and wanted my contact info. 

I felt alive again during the event and since then. I want to make things again. I want to have my items listed on Etsy again. (Maybe on eBay, I don’t know). Things are crazy and overwhelming and life is fucking hard. But there are good things too. There are things that make me happy. 

It was a great practice event for Honey before LHP. She has a lot of work to do, and we have to figure out how to get her to walk with us willingly even when she is grumpy and wants to go home, but she did really really well for her first event.

Posted 9/17/2023