Argument September 6 2023 3PM

Argument

September 6 2023 3PM

He and I just had an argument. But it escalated weirdly and I want details written down. 

I disagreed about an issue he brought up about someone else. 

He didn’t want to hear me and said he just didn’t want to talk about it. 

I said that I thought he just didn’t like them. 

He was upset and quiet for a while. 

Then he said, what if I said that to you? If you were upset about something someone said or did and I told you that you weren’t thinking clearly and you just didn’t like them? 

I said “you have done that to me.” 

He looked triumphant as if I’d proven his point. 

Then he said as I was leaving the room, that I just disliked someone because he liked them. 

I felt like he was referring to N or Jenn M, so I turned around and asked him who he was talking about. 

He stated that he wasn’t talking about anyone but that he was generalizing, and that it still “holds water.” 

I asked if he really believed that. 

He said yes. 

I told him there’s something wrong because it was illogical, it wasn’t true, and it was hurtful on purpose. 

I left the room. 

Since the head injury he has been coming at me about things. But the head injury happened right after he broke up with N. And he won’t quit talking to her. 

And he recently said that “it seems like” I start disliking all the people he gets close to. But we talked about it and he said even then that it’s not a fair judgement or thing to say, because all the people he has been close to have started treating me like shit first, because they care about him and I’m secondary to that friendship. He said the people I’ve begged him to stop being friends with, all ended up being shitty people. He said he should have trusted me. He said he’s trying to. 

But he keeps just telling me he loves her. 

How can I think that this came from somewhere other than her? But he won’t admit it. 

And he’s not being rational or fair to me. He just wants to be mad at me. 

I disagreed with him, and I said he’s been picking on this person unfairly. And in return he said that I always hate anyone he is friends with. 

What am I even supposed to do here? 

I can’t talk to a single damn person about this. I can’t tell anyone what happened. 

It’s not a rational line of thought! 

I know I’m not ok, I have been depressed but this is so unlike him. It’s 100% not normal behavior. And he’s had a head injury. They seem to think everything is fine, but… his neurology appointment is a video appointment and his primary care doctor keeps blowing off everything he asks them about. 

Posted 9/9/2023

(Clarification: This isn't happening often, maybe two or three times total so far. But it happens when he is angry, and I don't know if it is just the extreme stress we are under, has a physical health cause, or is from something else, like a tv show or a person he's talking to and the thought just stuck)