Slave needs.

Tonight was brutal. And awesome. I loved it. 

I do still wish I hadn't made cabbage for a side tonight, because that will make my current situation quite a bit more painful. 

After teasing him today, with my jeweled little butt plug in, he turned me down for sex. I was frustrated, sexually and otherwise. He was completely clueless as to why. I felt I had been sending intense fuck me I'm horny signals all day, and apparently he only caught one maybe two of them. 

I said I wanted to suffer for him. Not in those words exactly, and I still struggle with the right way to explain it, but I feel like suffering is what I do, what I am good at, what I am made for. I feel like I am supposed to do all kinds of random deranged and horrible things constantly for Master's pleasure. Like, crawl across the floor to bring him his soda, or randomly be teased into oblivion and then when he asks if I want his cock, for him to be like, good, now get in the box, and don't touch yourself. 

So here I sit, my asshole basically swollen shut, trying to squeeze out Master's come so I can go to bed. 

Probably because after I pointed out that anal would be absolute torture now that my stomach feels like it is full of air from eating too much cabbage, and he left to smoke so I could go to bed, I saw something on Fetlife and went outside to point it out to him. It was a bratty writing. Then, I sat on him when I tucked him in for bed. Kissing. And he decided it was time to take my ass, since I wasn't going to bed like I was supposed to. 

So off I went to the bedroom to get ready for anal. 

"Ready for anal" is an oxymoron. 

It hurt, I screamed and struggled and argued. His dick still went in my ass, and he made sure it hurt. I hated it. I loved it. It hurt so much and I absolutely adore him right now. 

I think he told me that he will fuck my ass any time he wants, or something like that. It was hard to hear with the pillow over my face. 

He didn't let me enjoy any of the anal this time. Usually he tries to get me into it. And after he came, he started fucking me again for a minute. Which hurt like crazy! 

I am so happy. I love suffering for my master, even when it isn't sex I want to suffer for him. But especially when we both know he could have let me enjoy something, but purposely kept me from pleasure, it puts me in my place and reminds me that he owns me and I am his, always.