So I picked up an awesome new plaything at the vendor fair. A black and red leather bondage hood, with lots of straps, soft leather on the inside, cushions over the ears, eyes, and mouth for sensory deprivation, and small breathing holes.
Just being in it is enough to make me wet. I love restrictive things, and this hood doesn't just keep me from seeing, it it very tight and presses into my face so that I am feeling that constant pressure the whole time I have it on. Almost immediately after having the hood on, I want something inside me. It makes me want the rest of the bondage too. Especially to have my arms tied or in an arm binder or straitjacket. That way I can't protect myself from the person playing with me. The same reason I want to start looking for locks for the buckles on the mask. So I cannot get out on my own.
The first few minutes of having the hood on, I just sat and listened, tried to figure out what I could hear, or do. I could hear my breathing if I didn't focus to make my self quiet. I could hear Major's breathing, and if he spoke, his voice was clear to me. I can speak while wearing the hood, but for the most part I prefer not to. Susy prefers not to speak, but she didn't stay long. She didn't like controlling her breathing and very much disapproved of being unable to bite. Phiar talks with it on. A lot. And she talks a lot of shit. Not really sure why the hood would change any of those things, but it does.
After getting used to the hood, figuring out how to breathe calmly and out of my mouth, Major snuggled me a while. He touched me a lot and I found myself putting a hand out to make sure I was touching him even a little at all times. I was terrified he would vanish into silence and I would be alone, or feel alone until he hit me with something. He stayed within reach all but 2 times the whole night, so I didn't have to worry much.
I found myself increasingly frustrated that I could not bite or use my mouth to show affection. I took comfort in not having my face able to be seen a few times when I would be blushing or embarrassed about something. even though I was naked, i felt like was safe. For the most part anyway. When he had a paddle all bets were off. Even when he didn't hit me I was randomly curling up in a reflex to try to protect myself from the unseen. Looking back, that is about the most afraid I have been in a while. Most of the time I can accept much more pain, but not knowing whether I would get pinched, tickled, paddled, spanked, cunt punched or kissed really threw me.
Like the best face hug ever. As Major said, "So it's basically a bag of awesome!" And it is.
The Mind Fuck
After we played for a while, Major was going to go outside for a smoke break. I jokingly said I wanted to go with, and he picked me up off the bed (naked!) and took steps toward the door. I started struggling like crazy and about the time it felt to me like we were at the door to leave the room, he throws me. I absolutely freaked out! It felt like I was falling forever, and then I landed... Right on the bed, in the exact same place we started. It was absolutely the worst mind fuck I have ever had played on me, and it took me a few minutes to actually realize where I was because my mind was telling me I had fallen all the way to the floor, so in my head the mattress was on the ground. I even made myself lightheaded because I started breathing so hard when he threw me.
He kept holding the breathing hole over my mouth closed. I could still draw air in and out, but it stayed inside the hood, and felt warm all over my face. I didn't know whether I was getting any air or just recycling what was already in the hood, so a would start to panic. A couple times he breathed into it, and I could feel the hot air, and I couldn't get away from it.
Also he grabbed me by the face a lot and used the hood to push me down, hold me down, drag me around, and it was really hot.
Just being in the hood turned me on like crazy. I had to focus on every breath, and still try to deal with everything being done to me...
When Phiar was out she was teasing, and he grabbed her by the hip, hard. So hard and we couldn't get away, or get a decent breath to deal with the pain, and... And we were still thinking of part of that story we wrote, and we were already so turned on from the play and the hood and the fingering earlier, and I swear she got off. Basically continuously until he finally let go.
I felt a little claustrophobic taking the hood off, and for a minute I wanted to hide and ask if I could have the hood back on.
I turned myself on thinking about being that creature that prefers the dark, wants to escape the light and go back into the darkness to be used and abused at someone else's will. A little pathetic, but it knows what it wants and it doesn't mind suffering to get it.
It made the world seem so much smaller, like it was closing in on me. It was the perfect feeling, and I love how well the hood takes away everything around me. I can't wait to play with it again! I had so much fun.
And I'm so excited that it has locks on it! I can't wait to be locked in and helpless.
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