In-Depth New Years Resolutions. Because you totally wanted to read more wife ramblings.

Sleep when I am tired
Commit to listen to my own needs and make them a priority.
Dress up more days than not.
This is not for me but for my Owner.
Cultivate new skills (Learn to use power tools? Saws, etc.)
I want to step outside my comfort zone and do new things! (that I want to learn how to do). (I also want to buy some power tools so I can accomplish what I want to do with less work.)
Save up some money -for real this time! - Pay off any debt owed
I think we have paid off all our debt. Time to start saving some money, or paying up the car payment so we can be done with it. I'd like to save $500 this year.
Church. 
Not necessarily "go to church" or "find a church" but I want to be able to go to church occasionally, without all the bitching for waking him up early. BUT what I want from this is a way to be closer to God on a regular basis, even if it isn't going to a building.
Throw away clothes with holes in them!
If it's broke, throw it away. If we don't use it, throw it away. If someone else can use it, give it away or sell it.
Only collect things I really love
Stop keeping things just because someone might get upset if they found out. How many people actually care or have visited us recently to even know if I threw it away?
Read 12 books. 
I can read so much more, but I haven't been. I want to get back to reading. Taking time for me. I have time, why not use it doing something I love?
Read one poem a week (A day)? (write them down)
It's supposed to be good for you, broaden your horizons. And I'd like to get into doing it. I'd like to re-memorize some of my favorites.
Make a list of books I want to own. 
So that people can buy these books for me!
Make a list of books I own. 
So I know which books I need.
Buy 12 new books (and read them)
Back to taking some time for myself. This is a no-brainer. If I had more books around that i want to read, I would read them.
Create special moments with the ones I love. Be spontaneous.
Gotta stop waiting for him to take me on an adventure. Have to make my own memories.
Adventure! Go for a walk, with or without him. EXPLORE
Make my own memories! With or without him.
Make 12 sales on Etsy.
Get Etsy started, don't get banned, add my account to it.... And finally, Sell some things. Hopefully overpriced so I can make even more money.
One day a week with zer0 social media, phone, tv, pc. (Music is ok)
Make it a reading day, A garage day, an adventure day! Have fun, but stop clicking to see who has clicked on me.
Make something beautiful. (One painting a month?)
Last year it was make something I'm proud of. Now I want to make something I love. Something I want. Something I think is beautiful. Painting, garage work, floggers, new toys, furniture, doesn't matter.
Spend 3 days a week in the garage, working.
I want to be in my garage. Life gets in the way. Don't let it, spend at least 3 days a week working on something! Don't sit around waiting, go do it!
Health. Birth control?
Do we want to get me on birth control again, or do we want to keep using condoms? Should I go see a doctor (again. They never seem to care.) and ask about how painful my cramps are?
Make home a place I want to be. Organize and throw out junk! and decorate.
Organize. Throw away junk. Decorating is the hard part.
Be less angry, and more patient. Plans change, life goes on.
More of a reminder than a resolution.

New Years Resolutions Brainstorming.

2014 Completed Progress Unable to finish  Did not do.

Make a list of things I want in a house
Try something sexual/play that scares me.
Cook ribs. 
Try to make a fruitcake
Make 10 things I'm truly proud of
Clean out my closet
Vend for 1 kinky and one vanilla event
Put $100 toward debt per month, then pay off car +$100 monthly
Play nine holes of golf (without bitching)
Watch a Disney Movie. Popcorn, coke, M&Ms.
Get my hair done 100% for my husband. 

2015

1. Read 12 new books (10)
2. Find 12 new favorite recipes
3. Make 12 things i'm proud of.
4. Vend for 2 kinky events
5. Vend for 1 vanilla event
6. Put $100 toward debt each month, Then, put $100+ toward car payment
7. Watch a Disney movie. Popcorn, coke, M&Ms.
8. Fruitcake or Ribs - Make, find a recipe I like.
9.Learn to walk in my ballet boots.
10. Learn to present my toys. -No, not that way! Learn vending booth presentation.

2016

2016 Ideas for things I want to do

• Sleep when I am tired
• Dress up more days than not. 
• Cultivate new skills (Learn to use power tools? Saws, etc.)
• Save up some money -for real this time! - Pay off any debt owed
• Church
• Throw away clothes with holes in them! 
• Only collect things I really love
• Read 12 books. Read one poem a week (A day)? (write them down)Make a list of books I want to own. Make a list of books I own. Buy 12 new books (and read them)
• Create special moments with the ones I love. Be spontaneous.
• Adventure! Go for a walk, with or without him. EXPLORE
• Make 12 sales on Etsy.
• One day a week with zer0 social media, phone, tv, pc. (Music is ok)
• Make something beautiful. (One painting a month?) 
• Spend 3 days a week in the garage, working.
• Health. Birth control?
• Make home a place I want to be. Organize and throw out junk! and decorate. 
• Be less angry, and more patient. Plans change, life goes on. 

The difference between a boss and a leader: A boss says, "Go!" whereas a leader says, "Let's go!"  -E. M. Kelly

Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell them, "Certainly, I can!" Then get busy and find out how to do it! -Theodore Roosevelt

Ideas for things to make goals for:
Family
Home
Health
Money
Work
Calling
A habit to make
A habit to break
A skill to master
Books to read (movies to watch)
Somewhere to go

How sugar is made, essay turned in by Medic.

How sugar is made.
Sugar is made using two different methods. The sugar beet and the sugar cane are used to make sugar. I will go over how both of those items are used to make. Then I would like to talk about how bad sugar can be for you.
Sugar beets:
Sugar beets are grown in the cooler climates, such as North and South Dakota, Minnesota, and Montana. They are green leafy plants with large roots that hold the sucrose used to make sugar. When they are harvested, they are sent to processing plants. Once there, they are washed to remove gravel and debris that has remained from the harvesting process.
The beets are washed and cut into slices. These slice are mixed in a hot liquid and then placed in a diffuser. The diffuser separates the raw sugar from the plant pulp. The raw sugar goes through several purification and filtering process.
The purified sugar syrup now goes through a crystallizing process. First, the syrup is carefully boiled. Then it is seeded with microscopic sugar crystals. The crystals start collecting until they are the right size. The whole syrup mixture is then placed in the centrifuge that spins until the crystals are separated from the mixture. And now you have granulated sugar.
Sugar cane:
Sugar cane, in the US, can be found in warm tropical climates. Primarily in Florida. Sugar cane usually grows all year round. Most of their growth happens during the summer seasons. Cane plants are long green-like stalks that can grow up to 10 to 14 feet tall. When it is time to harvest the canes, the stalks are burned to remove the dead leafy matter and the thick waxy coating. The waxy coating has had different pesticides to prevent viruses attacking the stalks.
The burning of the stalks is quick and now it is ready to be cut. The stalks can be cut by hand, which is better for the economy. Or, the stalks can be cut by machinery. The stalks are usually cut in foot long sections and bundled up to be transported to the refineries.
Once at the refinery, the cane stalks are washed to remove all dirt and debris. Next, they are sent through several mills where the stalks are crushed to remove the sugary syrup. The crushed plant is then treated with lime and boiled. Now, the crushed stalk is put through the diffuser to remove the sugary juice from the pulp. The juice will go through the crystallization step like the sugar beet juice. It is seeded with the microscopic crystals that collect until they are big enough to be separated in the centrifuge. That is how you get granulated sugar.
Why sugar can be bad for you:
White sugar is 99.96% sucrose. It has been said that white sugar can rob the body of vitamin B, has a deleterious effect on the nervous system, and disturb the calcium metabolism in the body. Brown sugar is no better than pure white sugar. Brown sugar is a mixture of white sugar and molasses. The molasses used is filtered through burned beef bones. It is said that the burned beef bones give the molasses, brown sugar, an “ aesthetic” quality. The making of sugar, whether it is white, light brown, brown or dark brown, makes sugar a non organic product. You can choose to use sugar or you can find alternatives like honey. I am going to try and avoid all sugars and sugar processed foods, like junk food. I have learned quite a bit about sugar. I am going to use that to make myself healthier.

How does a composting toilet work?

Look it up when we get home!

Also, give medic her New Years assignment, due the fifth ish? 

Stuff we have for people for Christmas

Mom

Arrow poster

Painting

Dad

Soda dispenser

Pistachios

Tremors movie

Andrews parents

Magnetic dart board 

Matt

Shirt

Movie

Shaker

Socks

Sam

Challenge coin

Baldo

Piggy bank - money

Lion necklace

Dylan

Two books (red and green)

Pokemon cards

Sorting hat necklace

Savanah

Bag, necklace, bracelet sky

Jasmine

Necklace wish

Nana

Scratch off poster

Painting

Grandma and grandpa

Painting

Beckie and usbaldo

Cookware

Leela?

Mr Charlie

Shirt

Mrs. June

Cow

Maw maw?

Presents for Matt

Tomorrow morning.

6:30 Alarm

7:00 wake Relly

- help Relly get dressed, make coffee, etc permission to paint nails

8:00 ish  tea, breakfast, hearthstone. Start laundry

9:00 check laundry, walk dogs, unload dishwasher

Paint patterns

Paint background for mom painting

Paint background for Fannie bell painting

Work on floggers

Work on glitter flogger

Take shower

Inventory presents and make list - figure out who is missing

Meatball recipe from shay

Awesome meat balls.

1 lb ground beef

1 lb ground pork

1 egg

Handful of spices, salt, pepper 

Breadcrumbs until good texture. 

Dash of milk

1 bottle bbq sauce

Mix all together except BBQ sauce. Roll into meatballs. Put balls onto cookie sheet and bake at 400 f degrees for 15 - 20 minutes. Heat bbq sauce in crock pot. Put cooked meatballs into sauce if desired. Delicious!

To Do

TODAY!!

Get stuff ready for TLC Tonight

1) Pick out a flogger for the dirty Santa
- unpack toy stock from vendor fair and hang everything up so we can get to the floggers!
- DO NOT work on silver flogger until finished with all other toy handling for the day.

2) Remind Tori to bring Major's boots. SERIOUSLY

3) Pack LHC Auction stuff into the car.
-Books
-tub of items
-paperwork
- Lily's Vape Charger
(clean out the car first)

4) Pack any presents we may have for people?
-Shea coffee book.

5) Is Relly going to TLC tonight? He has been sick, how does he feel?

http://www.paintwoodentoys.com/#sealers

http://www.woodcentral.com/articles/finishing/articles_497a.shtml

Maintenance

1) call vet about flea chewy for sela

2) call SECU about where to donate etc. 

3) whip, and all silent auction items to Tori for TLC 

4) remind Relly get boots from Tori, call her ahead of time! 

5) Thursday concord wife at home.

6) Tuesday trash out

7) send Jerry and Ian a list of concerns about hickory house

8) Wednesday and Thursday mast training phone session

9) 

Updated to do list for toy making.

Sunday

All paddles should be sanded to 220 by today and have at least a flood coat on them so they can dry. 

Monday

Short maple handle - complete

Long maple handle - drying

Purpleheart handle - drying, should be finished on Wednesday 

Bocote handle 2" - drying apply poly on Wednesday 

Bocote handle 1.5" - drying - apply tung oil or poly on Wednesday 

Purpleheart dagger shape - drying. Should be finished Wednesday 

Tuesday

Maintenance

Check paddles for dryness. Sand at 220 and decide what will be able to go to the event. Add tung oil to paddles, maybe wet sand them. 

Wednesday 

Thursday

Finish all toys by today! 

Make packing list.

Take pictures of all stock. 

Decide on prices for every piece. 

Charge devices. 

Look up address + directions. 

Friday

Clean out car.

Pack all toys and stock into containers, and then into car.

Make sure we have cash/change for $20s.

Saturday  the loft?

Sunday

Mast topic:

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

My business

Sunday munch

All paddles should be sanded to 220 by today and have at least a flood coat on them so they can dry. 

Monday

Put a coat of poly on all handles to be sold. 

Tuesday

Maintenance

Check paddles for dryness. Sand at 220 and decide what will be able to go to the event. Add tung oil to paddles, maybe wet sand them. 

Wednesday 

Thursday

Finish all toys by today! 

Make packing list.

Take pictures of all stock. 

Decide on prices for every piece. 

Charge devices. 

Look up address + directions. 

Friday

Clean out car.

Pack all toys and stock into containers, and then into car.

Make sure we have cash/change for $20s.

Saturday  the loft?

Sunday

Things Emily has to do because no one else will.

Clean the rabbits cage

Laundry

Cook meals

Wash dishes, put away dishes.

Pick up, empty, and dispose of Dr Pepper cans.

Spray for bugs

Bathe the dogs

Feed, water, and clean up after all animals. Men, rabbit, and dogs.

Make sure Relly takes pills every day.

Emily to do

1) post inventory pictures on Fetlife 

2) update trade list on mysubscriptionaddiction.com

3) maintenance

4) bathe sela

5) tie knots on floggers

6) no garage work tomorrow unless Relly won't get out of bed.

Other

Take allergy meds

Check out shay's etsy page

Clean up the kitchen

Sweep the house

Clean up dog crates

Laundry. Lots of laundry. Folding. And socks for Relly to match :)

Important things for Relly to consider

-Maintenance 

-play the next wing in hearthstone

- help Emily set up inventory for pictures

- set aside time for Emily to update geek trade web stuff

- call necessary persons about house stuff

- discuss KC, mast, LHC, house, college with wife.

- demo for mast this month? 

- pay bills

- cancel loot crate? 

- Pinterest style board for house

Maintenance points

- one room a week thing. Update?

- discuss a budget and spending vs saving for items. 

- reassure wife that she has enough floggers and they are pretty enough for the vending thing.

- 

Potato wedges recipe.

http://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/baked-potato-wedges

Made these potato wedges. The recipe was so bland! It smelled great while cooking but there was just no taste. 

Recommend adding a full spoon more salt and pepper. Also, maybe some Italian herbs and spices, something other than paprika.

Still awake

I think I just heard the garage door three times in five seconds. Hmm. Guess someone is awake but sleepy.

Can't sleep

I'm not happy. 

I know it's not true, but I feel like I have never been happy and will never be happy again.

I bicker and nag and bitch and I blame everyone else, but I don't think I would be happy even if everything was perfect. I don't think I even really know what I want.

I tried to think about what I want, and what things make me happy, and the only thing I could think of was pain. That's not even true. I'm not always happy when I'm hurting. I bitch about that too! 

I say that I want him to spend time with me, but in his famous words, "and do what?"

I feel lost and broken. 

I remember people saying they always think of how much of a happy person I am, they never see me without a smile. At least, that was what people said about me when I was growing up.  I was always happy because there was no reason not to be happy. It's the opposite now. I got older, I learned about death (15, my grandma bowman), war (9-11), rejection (people being mean to another person for no reason, high school), disease (I remember someone explaining AIDS to me at church, the first time I learned there were sicknesses that can kill you that can't be cured). All this suffering and emptiness. I don't think I ever recovered from it. I feel like I carry around all the pain I've ever seen and I ache that nothing I do will ever make a difference, and even if I make one person smile or save a life, we all die anyway, so what will it matter?  I know this is dark, and heavy, and no one ever wants to talk about it. I don't even want to talk about it, but I always hope someone will be able to say something that makes it just a little better, just a little easier to sleep. 

I feel like I should stop speaking, because everything I say comes out hateful. I should only answer questions and speak when I am required to. 

I'm not cleaning the bathroom. I know I'm supposed to. It's not meant as defiance. Rather, I need reassurance that my actions or lack thereof matter in some way in relation to my rules and life as a slave. I don't get rewarded normally for completing tasks, but I also don't get punished for failure other than verbally, and I'm starting to wonder if there is any point in obedience if it changes nothing. 

Emotional runoff

Disclaimer: I am somewhat certain I've only felt like this since you've been sleeping a lot or since the sex last night, which ended as an emotional roller coaster for me (Orgasm denial does that to the brain).

I needed to write this shit down because I can't sleep. 

Some of this emotionally shitty stuff I can work on alone. And some of this is pre maintenance. 

Serious stuff

I have to be so fucking careful how I say everything! I've rewritten what I want to say four times and none of it works! 

I can't talk about my wants, because I'm a slave.

I can't talk about issues I have, because you could just say it doesn't matter, because I'm a slave.

I can't say you need to do X for me. 

You have been half-assing it. 

I actually told you what I needed during sex, and your response was to completely quit doing anything I liked, finish, and leave me crying. No, you didn't need to go to bed immediately. You went to your computer.  

This says to me that either you were try to humiliate me or "put me in my place" but without proper verbal reassurance of this I'm not certain. Or, the one that's screaming in the back of my head and has been since last night, that you don't care about me and you only do the minimum to get what you want, fuck my wants or needs. 

You said you were going to punish me. 

And forgot. 

Again. 

This is a recurring issue. A big fucking issue. 

If you own me, then act like it. All the time, not just with your big mouth. 

I want a shoulder massage. I haven't asked for one, that's on me. 

But I don't think you would do it if I did ask. This falls under the category of asking for a scene, or sex, which has a pretty low success rate. (Success not meaning that I get what I asked for, but that we don't get in a fight and I don't feel guilty after.)  speaking of, I have stopped asking for a scene, but I still want one. 

Tired.

Finally finished masturbating. Sort of. Finished the horny masturbating, now to rub so I can sleep. 

Want to use my hood more, but my lips are really dried out and damaged. Need to drink lots of water and avoid getting hit in the face with footballs! 

Put up or Shut up.

There has been a lot of argument and drama online lately about the syrian refugees- Should we help them? Should we deny them access and focus on helping our own homeless veterans? It is a very public, very personal, debate.

But what does all the arguing across social media accomplish? Drama and nothing.

So I say put up or shut up.
That's right, I challenge those of you with loud mouths and even louder opinions to put your money where your mouth is. If you don't care about this issue, no problem. If this is deeply personal and you feel strongly about this debate, open your wallet and support your side and it's corresponding cause. Or, if you just want to be a good person, support both causes!

Here is the link to a charity that supports the Syrian Refugees.

Here is a link to a charity that helps out homeless veterans.

And here is a link that shows you how much money has been donated to these causes.

So go donate, and post a screenshot of your donation confirmation email. Let all your friends know what you think about this important issue, and don't just talk about it, Do Something.

It's the season of giving, and now you can feel good about donating AND argue with strangers on facebook. I call that a win-win.

Merry fucking Christmas everyone.

Christmas Wishlist

Red Lipstick. Bright Red, very red lipstick. So i have a classic red.
Brands:
http://besamecosmetics.com/ Besame Red looks pretty.
https://trestique.com/ Chile Red looks pretty

Manic panic lipstick
After Midnight, this is the one I want most. Do not want matte colors. Want a white or super pale pink also. And maybe some dark reds or other gothic colors. Bright colors are fine too.

Books
The Thief by  Megan Turner (Actually, I want the whole series (of four books). NOT the ebooks. real books.)
http://www.amazon.com/Thief-Queens-Book/dp/0060824972/ref=la_B001IGHIEG_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1447903716&sr=1-1

Stuffed Animals

Skelanimals, bane: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=skelanimals+bane

Clothing

Thick knee high socks, gothy colors. Right below the knee is fine too. Black and red or white or pink or blue. Or just bright weird socks. No toe socks. 

Panties.

Really cute panties. 

STUFF and things. To do?

Maintenance Stuff
Finish my Marketplace blog.
One room a week thingy. Please continue this, punish for this if necessary, etc. This is important to me.
I need to work on the information for Medic, and need direction, or some prodding.

Relly Stuff
MAsT: 3 applicants and voting.
MAsT: change in location and date?
MAsT: check in on your assistant regional duties.


Me To Do. TODAY
find and refinish Sam's necklace.
Paint my fingernails.

To Do, Sometime. 
sweep the bathroom. (because eww.)
Finish sanding and etc the handles in the garage.
Look up pretty eye-hooks for handles.



Other
"trump teachings" youtube, hearthstone.

Relly have to do this :D

Today
Take back Redbox movie
Pick up Fallout stuff from Gamestop

Soon
Take Sela to the vet
TJMaxx leggings

This Week
Pick up something for Sam for his birthday. (Fallout 4?)

Ipsy bag

1. Cool stars galaxy bag. 

2. Smash box mascara. Black. It looks awesome on me.

3. Luxie brown eyeshadow. 

Will probably trade.

4. Highlighting trio. What is this? Is it eyeshadow? 

Looked it up, it is for cheeks and stuff, so face highlighting, not eyes. Colors seem ok. Not sure I would use.

5. Pore lessening cream.

Probably will trade this.

6. Some form of makeup brush. For eyes? 

Dunno. 

I absolutely love the mascara! 

The Marketplace -Part Three, Chapters 22, 23, and 24

Chapter 22

In The Marketplace, the slaves up for auction are placed in a kneeling position on a pedestal. They are not bound, but the non-voice-trained slaves are gagged. Voice-trained slaves must answer questions. They each have a collar around their neck, with a lock and ID tag on it, but the lock is open, with the key in it.  The bidding takes place in a separate room. Preferred bidders are allowed one last chance after bidding is closed to outbid the high bidder. 

In front of the slave is a table with three copies of the contract, as well as their file for bidders to look through. The winner signs all three and takes one copy, and then closes the lock on the collar and takes the key. "The slave does not need to sign, they signed when they were free."

Chapter 23

Claudia's owner arrives, and Alex has her show off her new skills. First caning Brian, and then Claudia accompanies her mistress upstairs to show off her "other" skills. Her owner is impressed.

Sharon, gagged and kneeling, is agitated, and wants to be the center of attention around the buyers. She is jealous of the attention paid to Robert.

Robert is anxious that he won't be pleasing. He answers questions, not really hearing any of them. He feels unready. 

Bidding ends. Twenty minutes before they confirm bids. 

The woman who purchased Robert is a woman in an elite circle of mistresses. She was introduced to him as "a friend of Madame" (Claudia maybe?) and when she signs the contract and closes the lock on his neck, a single tear rolls down his cheek. She thinks it is sweet that he views the process as romantic. 

Sharon is purchased by a man in his late 50s, who is in good shape, but not one who had used her sexually before., only read her file. He is a widower, lives in Texas, and travels east. She assumes he is rich. She is very happy and wants to smile at him, win him over, but she is still gagged. Then she hears a woman's voice. The mans daughter. 

Sharon finds out that the man bought her as a wedding present for his daughter, although the ownership still belongs to him since her contract required she be purchased by a single male. He plans on sleeping with her when he visits his daughter, maybe four times a year. Other than that she will probably use her as kitchen staff. 

Sharon sees Chris looking at her and expects him to be happy that she is in a shitty situation, but he looks sorry for her. 

Chapter 24

The house made money on the sale of the two slaves (Sharon's good looks drove up her price) and on Claudius retraining. Grendel feels Sharon got what she deserved.

Alex listed two weeks as resort vacation. 

They plan on training two more slaves (and Brian) before then. Brian is in the room, doing endurance training. 

They are both happy with each other at the moment because they just enjoyed a reunion after being apart, or at least unable to get together around the slaves in training. 

Chris comes in and sends Brian to bed. They have him replace Brian at the foot of the desk. Then they ask Brian if he would like to join them at the resort. He says the typical slave response, then inquires why he would be there to be able to better answer if he would like it. 

Chris would be able to be their slave at the resort. They want to reward him for his good work with the four slaves. He accepts the offer to join them, even though the collar comes off when they come back home, as painful as that will be. 

They go to bed, and Chris gets up, takes care of the house and returns to his own bed.

"Have I told you that the mark of the best slaves is patience? Infinite patience."

Inspired.

Last night we left for the bar to go get the key to the house we want to possibly fix up, and if everything goes well, buy.  

The hour before we left was a nightmare. Master and I were having arguments about everything. What I should wear, how long we would stay, everything. And then we got in the car together and I thought it was going to be awful, a long drive, a crowded bar, and a late night while we were at odds with one another. As a kind of leap of faith for me, I didn't bring anything to do while we were out. I wasn't going to sit in a corner (even though I was hurting and tired and, ugh, we were fighting so much), I was going to stay with him at the bar and socialize. And so we talked on the way out of the driveway. I had miscommunicated about wearing makeup, and he had responded angrily, and I had taken that badly as well, and we cleared that up quickly before leaving. 

The drive was fun! He played Pandora, with all kinds of old music I used to love in high school, and music he used to play all the time when we lived near Kmart. I was trying to guess music, a game we haven't played in forever, and we just enjoyed each other. It was lovely.

The bar wasn't that fun, I got an offer to sell my toys to someone who sells there, but without my name on it, and met the owners of the house we haven't seen yet. (And they forget to bring the key with them). It was crowded, the alcohol was gross, people were drunk and taking pictures, and there were way too many flashing lights.   But I stayed with master. 

We left and I had to pee. It took half an hour to find a bathroom because even McDonald's was closed! I barely made it into the bathroom and was still urinating when I heard master leave the bathroom across from me. 

We grabbed food from the gas station. I grabbed a cheese stick and he got pizza, a hot dog, and a cheese. I took a bite and it was really tangy, so i checked the date. It expired in July. My cheese expired four months ago and I took two bites of it! Gross. He took it back in and traded it for new cheese! He said the guy was checking the cheese when he went out. 

I said checking the cheese sounds like what you do to a prostitute before you fuck her, to make sure she doesn't have an std. 

So we went home and sang songs and guessed bands (audioslave!) and in general stayed awake til we got home.

And then he let me sleep in bed with him. And after a 30 minute massage, he fucked me. He used me. He let me almost come and then he got off. I was beating the bed with my fist and trying not to cry and he was still cumming in me. I think it turned him on more to cut me off. 

And then he beat me with the little paddle I made him. On my butt. It was awesome. And then I rolled over to sleep and he decided he would fuck me again. Oh yes! So I was all for that. And he hurt me and fucked me and I begged him to hurt me more, and to fuck me slowly. He teased me so much. I know I got off, and I think it was while he was teasing me, just slowly going in deep, and then pulling out quickly and my body just loved that and wanted to hold onto him.  By the time he was fucking the hell out of me I was warm and giggly all over. I was so happy and felt so nice that I didn't need to masturbate, I just fell asleep.

He beat me again this morning. All over my butt and legs. I actually have a few bruises now. I wanted him to fuck me again, but he just talked about it, and teased me more. Because I was so sore this morning from the sex, I said he would have to fuck me in the ass today, but I don't know if my ass could take twice a day fuckings for a whole week. (He said he fucked me twice because he was making up for fucking me every day and then not fucking me for a week, so he would be fucking me twice daily for a week to catch up.)  I was so ready for him to fuck me in the ass by the time he said that, but then he started beating me with the paddle and told me to get dressed and go make his coffee.

He's beat me with three different paddles all day randomly today. It has been awesome and kept me in very high spirits. 

After we went to tjmaxx and he found some cooking stuff he wanted, we took Matt home and then went for groceries so master could make dinner. 

It was amazing. Granted, I think we shopped for three hours, exploring Aldi's and Harris teeter, but he made an amazing twist on BLTs. Bacon, prciutto, kumato tomatoes, havarti cheese, lettuce, shallots, garlic, and a specialty bun. It was the best blt I have ever eaten. Ever. Oh it had mayo, too. It was inspiringly good. It tasted like the best burger I've ever eaten, only with no burger on it! The tomatoes almost tasted beefy because of the shallots. It was the edible version of perfection. 

It has been an amazing day, and I hope that master and I can find a way to keep it going! 

Oh, I also started my period right after dinner, so we are back to anal for another week. 

Maintenance

Issues

Still have not done budget. This is Urgent. Can not buy Christmas presents on wish (and save lots of money) if we don't make a budget. MUST be done before fallout 4 launch.

I feel that protocols are becoming lax and are not important / noticed lately. 

Having my collar put on me today was a huge morale boost, but it has been overlooked a few days. 

Kneeling for coffee.

No comments, observations, or direction about cleaning the rooms lately.

No direction lately, after I was told I would get lots of direction, specifically regarding leatherwork.

Maintenance is overdue, and while there are reasons, it isn't his priority to do it. 

I have one session left for my marketplace summary. I am frustrated that this has been basically dropped. 

The paddle I made was supposed to be used. I keep hinting at it. He won't keep it on him or even pick it up.

No sex yet this month. :(

I am sicky. And bitchy, and exhausted. 

Christmas thoughts.

Andrew : fallout stuff and other random things he likes

Nana: painting, and scratch off map of places youve been! something pretty. 

Grandma and grandpa: painting? Sharp pocket knife?

Mom: painting. And?

Dad: 

Myra:

Rafe: 

Maw maw. 

Any ideas for these guys?

Beckie - cookware ?

Usbaldo- pocket knife?

Baldo - books

Dylan - cash

Savanah- 

Jasmine- 

Samuel- video games? 

Matt - school, tactical, or cash

Mrs. June- a pamper basket? Bath stuff? 

Mr Charlie - something cool this year, that Matt will hate putting together and helping him with. :)

Amanda - 

Leela- a Leela doll or plinker plush? 

Life choices.

I can't sleep.

I can't stop thinking about the neighbor, who still has all these hopes and dreams of things he wanted to do 20'years ago, that he put on hold because he wasn't able to do it, but still has a plan for what he wants done with his house. He still has ideas that he can never build on his own now.

And I got stuck thinking about how badly I want to plant fruit trees and nut trees at every house we live in, because I had a pear tree, and persimmon trees, and a fig bush, and black walnut trees and a pecan tree around when I grew up. It was one of my favorite things as a kid. And I love the thought of planting trees and watching them grow! And having black walnuts. I miss that. 

But then I think about my family again. I miss how close we all were when I was younger. And look at us now! My sisters used to be inseparable. They had absolute best friends they never thought they would grow apart from. My grandparents were my favorite people to visit. And now I am scared to be around them because I don't even know what to talk about. They never want to teach me anything, and I want so badly to learn. To be able to remember something about them. 

And I look at how it's all playing out, and life breaks my heart. And I am scared to have kids. I am scared not to have kids. Hell, I'm scared just to have my tonsils taken out. (And scared not to.) I feel like we will outlive everyone we know, and then be alone, and I don't know what we will do then! 

I want to get closer to Sam, because he's the only one I've felt close to in a long time. I want to give him as much help as he needs to grow up and be a good person, with opportunities and a working knowledge of how to take care of himself. 

And all of these life goals are vague and don't really add up to anything, that I know of. 

I mean, what does it even matter if I plant trees? If no one will ever get to enjoy them. 

And I keep thinking about how nana got to travel, and how nice that would be. To see another country. And then I think that I would like to take her somewhere again, that she can get excited about. 

And we need to visit your parents too. And do what I don't know. That's always the hard part for me, I like having a plan, not just sitting and staring at people. Because I'm bad at talking. So I like to go... Do things .... with people.

I sort of have an idea to do with the cooking, but I don't know if we can make it work. But it would really have to be worth it to you, to get your degree. Maybe you could talk to Denise? Her husband is a chef, in Atlanta. And I think you could be honest with them about what you are looking for from it, about event planning for kink events. 

Short term goals

We need to have maintenance, talk, clear the air between us. 

Make lots of floggers. No, really. A lot. 

Get ready for fallout 4. 

Clean living room

But junk food

Buy wife food

Have pajamas ready for a week.

Clean the kitchen. Wash some dishes.

Budget for November, order Christmas presents from wish. Make a list!

Go get coupon for free haircut on 11th. 

Find out what game Sam wants.

Buy Eragon books for baldo.

Make a list of things other than my tonsils that bother me.  It's hard to think of anything else, because they hurt so much!

When did my Relly learn to cook?

I dunno! 

But we were talking about his interest in going to culinary school and I told him I needed to see that he really meant it. He told me to give him a challenge, a dinner to make. 

So after lots of thought and conversation, I decided shepherd's pie, and baked mac and cheese. 

I knew he wanted a recipe for the main course, something that would take a lot of mixing things together, not just assembly. So I at first suggested beef tips but he didn't want to just throw everything together, he wanted more of a challenge. So, shepherds pie, because you have to make mashed potatoes, cook the vegetables, cook the meat, assemble it all, and then bake it too! 

And I just love baked mac and cheese, but every time I have wanted to do it, something happens and I don't get my homemade Macaroni and cheese. 

So I asked for that as a side, plus it also takes some work, not just mixing.

And he decided to also do baked apples with vanilla ice cream and caramel sauce. I requested pie crust, and he had the amazing idea to make a mini pie out of it. 

So we bought a lot of food. We bought some stuff for the kitchen. Muffin tins, pie tins, and a $20 40-piece cookware set. It was less than half price and I was super excited to catch that deal. 

And he cooked. 

And cooked.

And cooked some more. 

By the end of it, we were both exhausted and hungry!

It was fucking amazing. 

The pie had so much flavor, the veggies were cooked perfectly, and it was just perfect. 

The macaroni and cheese was perfect perfect. At first I wanted salt but then I had a bite with the toasted cheese on top of it and it was perfect together.

And the apple pie was awesome.  It was a great end to an awesome meal and made me sleepy and happy. I couldn't finish it because I ate all my food earlier, but it was really good!

I am so proud of my husband! He really fooled me with all this "I can't cook" business. Because, he can definitely cook.

My trick that got me a treat

So I told daddy tonight that October is national anal month and tonight is the last night he gets anal so he'd better take me up on it, and he totally did.

I got the anal! 

It wasn't really national anal month. 

I win :)

----------

So last night, master told me to masturbate for him, to anal or to something he's been turning me on with lately, forced alcohol via open mouth gag. 

So I fantasized about both, but mostly the forced alcohol. See, we were looking at kinky stuff on Wish, and I was showing all the gags I had found (I pinned them all because gags were the kinkiest thing I could find and it took a lot of work to find them.) from open mouth gags to ring gags to spider gags, and then there was the double ring o-ring gag, that opens wide at the front and then the metal goes back in a cylindrical shape to keep your mouth open about 3 inches back, too. I pointed it out, and said I like it, but I don't know if your dick would fit through the smaller ring (the deeper one). 

Master answered that he would use it to hold my mouth open while he poured shots down my throat. My train of thought stopped completely, and I could see it right away in my head, and I was instantly turned on. 

So he keeps mentioning it at weird times, and it turns me on every time, and I get wet and  ere is nothing I can do about it!

So back to the fantasy and the dildo and the masturbation. I had a bad cough so it took me a little bit to get into it, soI had to keep getting a little more extreme to distract myself.

I imagined myself with the o-ring gag strapped into my mouth, my arms tied behind my back at my wrists and above my elbows, as I curled up naked in the corner of the kitchen, knees to my chest, but unable to cover my tits, which were sticking out because of my arms being pulled behind my back. (Armbinder?)  and I'm leaning back into the corner, naked. And master walks in and fake looks around and then looks straight at me and says, "oh, there's my drunk bitch! Are you ready for another shot?" I shake my head no, but he walks up to me and drags me to the middle of the kitchen floor and holds me by the hair. "You want another shot, don't you? Say 'yes, Sir'" He makes me say Yes Sir with the gag in, and it sounds like "yeth thir" and I don't want any more alcohol. But he pours a shot and then pulls my hair back and holds my body down with his legs as he pours a shot into my mouth. I choke, but manage to swallow most of it, my eyes watering. "Good girl, did you like that? You liked that so much, I'm going to give you some more." I struggle and I end up on the floor on my back, with him sitting on my body and holding my hair, my knees now locked into my spreader bar so I can't kick. He is just pouring the alcohol into my face with the bottle now, not even pouring it into shot glasses to keep track, letting me swallow every half shot of so, and giving me time to get a few breaths in before forcing more in me. 

After he finishes, he decides to fuck me this time. Or kick my cunt. Everything gets super blurry in this fantasy, and I'm not sure of the order. But I know when he sticks his fingers in me I'm soaking wet I'm so turned on and ready to be hurt, fucked, and used. 

So that's my fantasy from last night.

Anal tonight was awesome and pretty hard core.

When it was all over, I didn't want to take the pillow off my face. I didn't want to go back to being human again. It's not that I didn't want it to end yet, I haven't been getting pleasure from anal in the way I normally do. I haven't been gushing buckets from the anal lately. I have been enjoying the suffering and the service from the anal lately. 

I stayed under the pillow, and in my head for a few minutes after he went to the bathroom to clean up. 

I was thinking about how I want this, how important it is to me, but then I was distracted by a line from The Marketplace. "This is what you want? It doesn't matter what you want!" I wonder to myself, if I can't use the word want to describe it, then what do I say? Need? It's not a need, but if I didn't yearn for this, I wouldn't be here, doing this. The same as the slaves in the marketplace, if their wants don't matter, how did they make it to where they are? And another thought came to mind, "you do what you are." I don't know what it's from, but it works for me. But what do I even call what I am? The amounts of pain that I embrace and endure for myself and my master. 

I think that the amounts of pain I have stepped up to take, and the frequency that I am coming back to him for more, are slowly proving to him that this is something I need, and that I can take it. 

I loved that after I had mouthed off a little, he stepped up hard and really took pleasure in causing me pain, and took out his frustrations on me. I felt like I was almost making up for it, even though I wish I could stop doing it altogether, especially during sex. I also wish there was a position that we could both agree on. I always feel like he is trying to change a baby's diaper, only kind of backwards. 

To do today

Breakfast, pumpkin pancakes, made by Relly.

Marketplace blog, part 3. 

Clean kitchen, wash dishes by hand

Clean living room! 

Medic lesson plan

Garage work.

Change sheets on bed.

Last nights dream.

I can't sleep, and even as I am trying to sleep I remember more and more of my dream from last night.

Matt takes me to this little antique shop in my hometown, one of the store fronts with big glass windows and stages for the store to display their stuff. It has old wooden board floors that are uneven and creak when you walk on them. It used to be a produce store, or at least the displays on the right wall suggest it, as they are inclined like fruit stands, to show the most product. There is piles of folded clothes, children's clothes, on these, and mirrors above them, at an angle. At the back of the small one room store is a glass display case, with old spoons and antique jewelry, lockets and boring things. Matt asks a question and they pull out two boxes from the piles of random junk. Toy boxes. Beanie babies and Jenga blocks and broken cars and all sorts of toys. Somehow I find some wood turning blocks and have fun looking through everything. Matt keeps setting aside things he thinks I will like. There is a life size mouse toy, but a stuffed animal. I want it but I remember saying the dogs will chew it up, where can we keep it? And my final decision is that we will keep the pet mouse stuffy in the rabbits cage so he can have company. Because the mouse is smaller than dusty, and gray. 

I hear the bell, and that means I have to leave to get to school on time, so I leave Matt with all the toys and run off with my school uniform and book bag and converse shoes, to go to class. I end up running through a stone hallway like hog warts only this one turns broken and old and there are thick bright green vines now and it turns more jungle than hallway. There is only  a gray stone path now, and I am suddenly afraid to go down the hall. There are snakes everywhere. Every snake you can imagine, all colors and sizes. I have to get to class! I try to find another way, even trying to go through a closing stone doorway and under a gap in the stone, but none of those ways will let me through. So I run back, down the path, as quickly as I can. I avoid all the snakes, the ones on the ground and hanging from trees and I jump over them. And there is the classroom! I am the last one there. It is outside, sort of. In this stone temple, with vines and tall grass, and perfectly public school crappy school desks in perfect order and everyone in their seats. There is a little fog. I start to pass out the worksheets the teAcher Asian, tells me to take one and pass it but I want to slow down, catch my breath, so I pass them out. Just as I start to sit for the class, an alarm goes off. We have to run out of the classroom, through the jungle or the swamp, to go help with...  I don't know what the emergency was, just that our class plays a critical role in resolving it.

Think that's when I woke up and started fantasizing about master fucking me in the ass and going slow at all the painful parts to draw it out.

The Marketplace, Chapter 21

Chapter 21

The other servants came back, and the slaves have to adjust to their previous chores. They begin learning hierarchy of service, rank in BDSM so they know who to serve first, etc. If they do not pass the course, they will be shunned from "real" slavery, and only able to partake in bdsm play instead of the service they desire.

Sharon begins trying to speak proper english.

Claudia learns more about managing a house. Contracting, planning schedules, etc. finding out what each guest is allergic to, as well as their religion.

visitors came by at all times during the day, and the slaves were to submit to their inspections and desires.

Brian is still the least used of the four. Brian never was allowed to spend a night with Grendel. Sharon wasn't invited back either, but that was her own fault. Brian continues to wonder what he has done wrong.

Brian was the first to see Grendel's workshop, but he was only ever taken there to be of use to soemone else's session. He was brought in to teach Robert to suck cock, but when Grendel was ready to test Robert's skill, Brian was sent away, and wasn't even allowed to see the owner's cock.

Brian continues to worry as all the other slaves seem to be preparing for a specific goal or specialization. Robert is learning martial arts, massage, driving, seems to be set up to be a bodyguard/companion of sorts. Claudia is learning how to be a housekeeper/manager of a house, so that she may please her mistress, she is gaining confidence in her own abilities and knowledge. Even sharon was learning to speak better, learning the dances and games taught to her, and she is sexy and good in bed.  But Brian feels like he is going nowhere. He feels alone, unloved, untouched, unnoticed by the owners of the house.

He finally finds himself on his knees in front of Grendel, begging just to be touched. He begs that Grendel watch as Chris punishes him for his request, he begs for more when the beating is over if Sir derires, and he begs to be allowed to thank Chris for giving him the punishment after, and kisses the strap used to beat him. He begs forgiveness from Grendel, his head on the floor at his feet, after the punishment is over.  Grendel then smiles, and tells Chris to bring "the real Brian" to his workshop.

After breaking, Brian is enthusiastic to serve, less cynical and sarcastic, and now takes joy in helping others and serving rather than doing it with some goal in mind, expecting something in return.

Rachel enjoys the new Brian, who is much eager to ... serve her needs. At one point she takes Brian and Claudia into Grendel's workshop and makes them have sex with each other, her, and then each other again just to see how long they can continue. They get in trouble for not finishing their work, but don't regret it.

Grendel slowly brings Brian closer, and eventually uses him sexually. He agrees that Chris was right, Brian is a real slave, now that it has been brought out of him.  "But don't get cocky, Chris."

Next week, Grendel and Alex meet to discuss what will happen to each of the slaves.
Claudia will go home.
Robert will go to general auction, but they know a few people they plan to call and inform about him, and his skills (friends of Claudia's owner, i think?)
Sharon is going into general auction as well, and Alex will be informing some of the buyers she knows of Sharon as well.
Grendel wants to keep Brian for another month, to refine his training, because now that Brian has revealed his "true slave" it's like "handling nitro" and he thinks that more training will double Brian's value. Alex says they are full of themselves, and that she will let Grendel know her opinion after she's spent a night with him. Two days later, Alex agreed that Brian should get some further training (and more time to serve them).

The slaves are put in high protocol for the final week. They are reminded that there will be more buyer coming to the house to inspect them, and to be on their absolute best behavior.

Due to the visitors, Sharon is kept busy serving, and Claudia is excused from most showings, but serves drinks. The owners decide on Friday as the night for the auction. They inform Brian that he will be staying on another month for further training.

They are so excited they can't eat or sleep. Grendel allows the slaves to ask any questions they like (within reason). Claudia asks what Chris is in the hierarchy of the house. Chris is very uncomfortable. Grendel forces him to answer. Chris is neither a paid employee (like Jack or Rachel) or a slave, like the trainees. Chris wants to be an owned slave, but as having a slave in the house could cause problems with the trainee slaves, Chris is not allowed to do that. So, he serves the house for free (without pay, although his needs are taken care of) as long as Alex and Grendel desire for him to do so. He wants more than anything to be an owned slave, with a collar or contract, but he is not allowed to be. Which is the best torture they can have for him.

Chris is also a top. well, he is a trainer. He trains tops. Slaves have wanted to pay him, to hire him. He wrote the training program for the Marketplace. He also goes and searches out other potential slaves for the marketplace. As a slave he knows all the gears and administrative business that must be done to handle slave training and does this, allowing Alex and Grendel to make the other decisions and get into the heart of training without the small stuff getting in the way.

Grendel tells Chris he did a good job handling himself when they leave the room.

The Marketplace Chapter 20

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To do

Put together dog crate

Change sheets on my bed, and pillowcases

Garage work

Take olivewood off lathe, put on new square. Save dust. Paper bag?

Put stain or finish on punishment sticks. 

Sand quirt paddle.

Sand and finish purpleheart handle.

Shape new paddles?

Kitchen

Dishwasher

Hand wash

Wipe surfaces

Living room.

Put away junk

Sweep 

Mop

Take out trash in bedroom bathroom

Sweep bathroom

Look up phone numbers for local vets. 

Try to find papers for sela.

Assign medic something to do based on what I have already sent her and told her to look over.

Alfredo, Italian for "everything dairy in the kitchen, in one dish."

ZAlfredo is one of those things that's pretty intimidating but turns out to be really easy to cook. 

3 Tbsp Olive oil 

1/2 c butter Butter

1 c Parmesan cheese

1 c Mozzarella cheese

1/3 c Cream cheese

1/2 c milk or heavy cream or half and half 

A dash of Garlic

A sprinkle of Pepper

Melt olive oil and butter in pan. Stir in Parmesan cheese and cream cheese until melted. Add milk. Melt in mozzarella cheese. Then add spices. Add cheese to thicken or milk to thin. Sauce will thicken as it cools, so err on the side of thin if you haven't done this before. 

Lesson Plan for Medic. Lesson One: Say What You Mean

Lesson One: Say What You Mean.

How to communicate clearly when writing.

1. Be concise.

• Put as much meaning as possible into the fewest words. 
• Avoid Filler Words, such as "like" "you know?" 
• When using emphasis, avoid lazy words, such as "very" "extremely" "kind of." If the word you are using does not seem strong enough, use a different one.

2. Explain what you mean clearly.

• Stay on topic. Avoid distractions that do not further your point. 
• State your point immediately, and then elaborate and try to convince your audience. 
• Be specific, and avoid vague statements. 

3. Reread what you have written.

• Check your spelling.
• Check for double words and typos that turned into other words.
• Check for meaning. Did you communicate your point clearly? Did you wander off topic? Are there places you need to reinforce your point? or remove filler?

4. Revise

• Make any necessary changes or corrections.
• Reread one last time. If you have trouble finding errors, read it out loud. This will help. 
• Once all corrections have been made, send it!

What do I even call this?

Last night I had this dream. It's funny, because it isn't like something super extreme happened to make it a bad dream. I wasn't being chased by someone who wanted to kill me, I wasn't being tortured for information, I wasn't trying to catch a killer. 

It was a bad dream because it was so close to life. And it was the worst dream I have had all week.

It was the last day of an event, and I was in the hotel room, trying to get everything cleaned up, put away, and packed. And Relly was there, and so was lily/tig. It kept switching between them during different parts of the dream, but I only saw it as one person. 

Lily had all of her stuff in our room, and she was sitting on the couch with an open suitcase, her stuff spread all over the floor and the rest of the room. And she was talking to Relly. And I was packing stuff into huge totes, filling them up and trying to keep everything organized so nothing was mixed up or in weird places when we got home. And lily keeps insulting me, saying "everything was great, except (insert flaw in something I've done.)" and at first I ignore her, until she says that next time I should cook different food, because it started to taste burnt the second day. So I step in and try to explain to her that it is a crock pot, and we don't have a refrigerator, so if it is not cooking the whole time, the food (meat) will spoil, even on the warm setting. Relly tells me to go back to cleaning, and she says something under her breath. I lose my temper and we fight. I say why do I have to do all the work 100% of the time and no one even cares? And more ranting like that. Tig (see how that swapped?) is sitting in a chair on Relly's lap and I slap her across the face for whatever it was she said. (I realize as soon as it happens that I just really crossed a line, not because I slapped her but because that is a huge hard limit for her.) I am so angry I am still screaming for her to get out. You take her away, and I am left with the packing, again. I keep working, but soon realize I can't even tell our stuff from tig/Lily's stuff. I try to find out what is what, but no one will help me. Relly is in the room smoking, and the manager sees and goes and writes something down. We are in trouble, we are fighting, and still, I am doing the work alone. Relly gets on the phone and just sits in the chair smoking while he talks. We have to be out of the room by noon, and I am panicking. 

I feel like I do everything, no one notices, and I am always at fault for something. I am trying my hardest but it isn't good enough, either to get the thing done or to earn the love and attention I need. I feel useless and alone.

And I wake up angry with Relly for siding with lily/tig, and determined not to do any work I don't absolutely have to do. I keep going back and forth between feeling sad and angry. 

It's almost 3 and I have to go walk the dogs. 

The marketplace 18 and 19

Chapter 18

Brian and Sharon still have not spent a single night with Grendel or Alex.

Alex tells Robert and Claudia she is going to loan them to Grendel for a few nights for another type of training instead of them spending the night with her.

Brian threw himself into serving. He finished his work quickly and went immediately to claudia for more. He kept his body clean, and practiced positions in his spare time. He focused on giving Jack the best blowjobs he could and accepted whatever position Jack put him in. After they finally removed the cock cage, he still didn't have any more accidents. Brian desperately hoped for some time with Grendel, but still, no request came.

One night as he was going to the bathroom, he heard a noise and ran to see what it was, thinking it was Chris. It was but Chris was decked out in full leathers, even cap. Chris is angry to see Brian at night, but Brian begs him to let him just look at him in leathers. Chris is angry and says this is just a costume, it means nothing. He thumps the banister and says this is who I really am, this house.

Brian apologizes for what happened in Grendel's office the first day (it was alluded to multiple times but never actually mentioned in detail) and asks if that is why Grendel won't see him. Chris accepts his apology and sends him back up the stairs.

Claudia is sent to Grendel's room. She is in his room before she realizes it. She dreads it. She serves his coffee in the tub, and knees in the corner in her place. Grendel asks her straight out why she is terrified, what she is worried about. She tries to find a tactful way to say it, but just blurts it out. She is a virgin. He already knows. She broke up with her boyfriend who wanted sex and never had a male partner after that. Her Mistress suspected it. Plus, she resisted Alex a few times when she wanted to get more penetrative with Claudia. And she is afraid of being used sexually by men.  She apologizes, and he tells her she should have told either Madeleine or them, as it is something they need to know.  He tells her that the current market isn't for intact virgins but rather for people who know what they are doing. But he does not want to be her first. He feels that anyone's first time should be by choice, regardless of their "social status". So he discusses her options with her. She makes up her mind, that she wants someone in the house other than Grendel to take her virginity. She tells him what she wants. He says he would like to watch, and she agrees to it, saying it would make her feel safer. He then changes topics to tell her to get into bed with him and show off what she can do. She asks a favor, which he says he will listen to. She asks that he maybe give Brian and Sharon some hints about how they can be better slaves, since they are trying, and want to be better but don't really know what to do. He tells her he will, but to keep it between them, and not tell anyone, since slaves aren't allowed to ask about or make suggestions about training.

Robert begins learning karate.

Sharon is finally called to see Grendel. She is proud and confident that she will be able to show off at last.  He sat her posed on a mat in the floor and went about his business. He read, made phone calls, etc. After a while, he tells her she may spend the night. She asked permission and then got up and stretched. She was already thinking about all the sex she wanted and wondering if she had to start with a blowjob. She asked if she could come to him, and when he said yes she made her most sexy walk across the room and sank to her knees by his bed. He told her it was nice, adn she could go to sleep now. She asked if he didn't want to use her, and he said no. She started to get in bed with him, and he told her to go sleep at the mat on the floor at the foot of his bed. She tried to complain in a nice way that it didn't seem suitable for her. Grendel rings for Chris who takes her "somewhere more suitable" to sleep, aka, the stables. He cuffs her ankle to the bar on the stall door. She cried and sobbed and tried not to wake the horses.

The next day, Alex made Sharon show herself to a pair of Italian men. They decide no, she isn't ready even to enter their training program, and they have no interest in her. (She didn't hold position, because they tickled her and then she moved) They talk business and then leave. She looks through a catalog they have left and it is full of slaves. Most of them model quality sexy.

Alex offers for them to use one of their slaves, and because they don't want to insult her, they ask for Sharon. They play with her, and hurt her, and fuck her and beat her and humiliate her. They fuck her while keeping a plug in her too, so that all 3 holes are filled most of the time. They ignore her and talk about her as merchandise while playing. her hands are tied behind her back and the dildo is in her ass when they leave. She lays there, crying. After a while Chris comes in and helps her out of the bonds. She swears, and he reminds her that profanity isn't allowed. Then he tells her to clean the toys and take them to Claudia and she will put them away. She is outraged that he has no sympathy for what was done to her.  Grendel is in the doorway and tells her they did nothing that she didn't already agree to in her contract. She yells at him. And then Grendel informs her that both of those men are single, and per her contract, eligible to buy her. She says "at least punish me yourself you son of a bitch!" and Chris backhands her, and Grendel then tells Chris to double her punishment.

Sharon leaves her punishment black and blue all over. She had to be helped up the stairs.  She was purposely caused massive amounts of pain methodically so that she would remember her place. She refused to talk about it. Chris informs the other slaves at dinner (which Sharon is not at, because she is still being punished) that the reason for her punishment was clear and profound disrespect to Grendel, and that they should learn from her example that this is not to be tolerated. At bedtime Robert helps her find a way to sleep where it doesn't hurt as much. Robert is surprised that they were so hard on her since she is female.

Claudia asks to hear Brian's story.


Chapter 19 Brian's Tale

Brian was really into comics with his best friend, and found one that really turned him on, because the guy was always causing trouble or in trouble. He really got into roleplaying later in life and had lots of kinky-ish girlfriends and they would do lots of fun kinky sex games. He liked getting fucked in the ass.

After they drifted apart, he started going to gay bars. He met a real leather man who became his first master. The guy made him crawl out after him at the bar the first night tehy met. BEcause he obeyed the guy so well, they went home and fucked. Brian would go to him and get played with, and Ron got him to pierce his nipples and to start going to the gym. One of Ron's friends told Brian he should try at a leather contest, and Brian thought it sounded great because you show off your style, and you get the attention of a lot of guys who want to fuck you. Ron told him that if he entered the contest he would never be his boy. Brian was upset so he started yelling, and eventually Ron hung up. He entered the contest and came in second place. Everyone wanted to fuck him. But none of them were dominant enough for what he actually wanted. A year later, he entered another contest. Once he was in the contest he realized he wouldn't win it either, because there were 4 contestants, and one of them was the judges partner, and two of the other judges were friends with the first judge. It pissed him off badly enough that he wanted to leave the leather community.

Then he met Paul, who reminded him of Ron. Paul was a spotter for the marketplace. He tested Brian to see if he was the right material for the Marketplace, and after a while told him that he would have to quit his job and move in with him to see if he could handle it full-time. So after some thought, he did. And then when Paul thought Brian was ready, he called Grendel and set up the appointment to bring him to the marketplace.

The Marketplace Ch 17

Chapter 17

The next day Robert still didn't accept a blowjob from Sharon. 

Chris made Brian wear yellow ribbons to look like a poodle. 

Claudia had to give Brian six cane stripe for not taking out the trash fast enough, and when they weren't hard enough, she had to give him six more. 

Sharon begins learning to dance.

Day two of his three day dog punishment, Brian gets a butt plug with curly purple ribbons to make a tail, and purple jingly bells from his nipple rings. 

Claudia is learning (on Brian)  how to do better at caning.

Sharon mouths off about Brian being unable to speak and Robert stands up for him, and tells her to shut up. She runs her mouth back and calls him a sissy and he drops it. But the next morning, when Sharon has to offer to suck his dick, he says yes. He thinks about how humiliating it must be for her and how much of a bitch she is, and he cums right in her face. 

---

Battery is dying, will continue tomorrow.

--------

Robert messed up later that day. He was asked to report on how well his training of Sharon had been doing, and his voice went female immediately. So Brian got dragged in from the hallway and beaten. 

Brain is sent to the kitchen with Chris, who is reading a newspaper. Brian is sent next to him. He lays down in the floor, and Chris pats his head. Brian actually enjoys it, he loves being in his place. Chris reminds him to remember this feeling when he is serving, because it is being attuned to the owners wishes.  Then Chris lifts his punishment and sends Brian to bed. 

When Brian goes back to the room, he kisses Robert right on the mouth and tells him he did a great job for standing up to Sharon. 

Robert finally realizes that they are beating the others instead of him every time he sounds feminine. Brian tells him. If Robert messes up in a non-sissy way, he takes his own beating.  Robert freaks out a little, and apologizes for even talking about it, before rolling over to sleep.

Claudia is getting better at pleasing Alexandra, which is good because she is getting better, but bad because Alex begins talking about how Claudia should start practicing her skills on men. This makes Claudia very nervous.
So, she throws herself into doing her best at becoming a good housekeeper.

Brian is summoned later that week to Alex's studio, and finds himself being kissed and caressed by Claudia. It feels great, except for the cock cage he is still wearing. Claudia feels deliciously humiliated and hates and loves the experience. 

Grendel was watching Chris teach the slaves about wine; pouring it, knowing the different types of wine, letting wine breathe, hearing the ringing sounds wine makes in crystal as it fills the glass. They were all taking turns pouring wine, and taking turns presenting glasses, bottles and trays when Alexandra walks in. Robert loses balance for a moment when he sees her, and almost drops a tray. He catches it, but in so doing, bumps Brian who is holding a glass of wine while Claudia pours. Brian falls onto Claudia, who saves the wine bottle but lands on her butt. Brian's wine glass spills all over.  Sharon is not mixed in with everyone else, so she runs for a towel and starts mopping up wine. Robert however, loses it. He begins apologizing repeatedly in a high pitched voice as he tried to help steady wine glasses and help Claudia off the floor. As he helps her up, he knocks Brian over, who just stays on the ground after that.

Alex tells Chris to bring Claudia and Robert to her playroom. Grendel asks if he can come watch. Alex says "even better, you can help!"

As he stumbles down the hallway, Robert finally realizes what he did, and falls to his knees. Chris makes him crawl the rest of the way to the playroom.

Robert and Claudia are tied so that their wrists are pulled above their heads with a rope, until they are just below being on their toes, both facing each other.

Robert gets a butt plug in him. His voice stays masculine though. Alexandra begins beating Claudia with one of her knotted "whips" made of some sort of cord. Claudia screams, and Robert hangs his head because he can't figure out how to fix it. Chris holds his head back and makes him watch Claudia taking his beating. It's the worst torture for Robert (a female supremacist) to watch Claudia be punished, knowing it's his own fault. Robert yells out "Stop it, it's my fault, she didn't do anything. Beat me instead!"  So Alexandra hands the whip to Grendel, who hits him much harder than Claudia was being hit. When Robert says nothing Grendel tells him he's doing a good job, and to continue taking it "like a man" until he is done. He gets 12 hits. But there is blood.  Chris lets Claudia down, and they all go out. Robert tells Claudia that he's sorry. She stands up and kisses him on the lips. Then she works her way down to his cock. Right as she gets the head of his dick into her mouth, she yells, and Robert opens his eyes to see Chris has pulled her away. He smiles and tells her to get back to work.



Later that day, Robert finds himself back in the playroom. He is tied spread-eagled on his back, and blindfolded. Soon after, Alex comes in. She tells him he is to strive to please her, and to make no protests. She puts 55 clothespins on him (he lost count), five of them down his dick. She plays with them and takes them off slowly, leaving the ones on his dick until last. She hits hit 55 times (gently) for not counting the first time. He enjoys it a lot. She then straddles his face and he does his best to please her, going back over the places that she enjoys over and over again. When she was about to come, she stops him, and then puts a condom on him. She tells him to stay hard until she gets hers. She rides him and tells him continuously to keep it hard until she finishes. He didn't come, and when she gets off of him, she tells him he is a good boy, and to clean up the toyroom and then come sleep at the foot of her bed. 

The Marketplace 16 (16 is a long chapter!)

The Marketplace

Chapter 16

Robert is sent to prepare for his first presentation, and the other three are sent to Chris.

Lots of nervous blah blah blah inner monologue.

He stands in front of the room, and they make him turn away from them. When it is time to give his speech, he turns around and all the slaves are dressed up like clowns. Uh, not clowns, but in stupid non matching outfits. He bursts out laughing, and everyone smiles or giggles but Chris. Chris eventuality quiets them down and Robert gives his nonsense poem speech, without all the nervous energy eating at him.

As a reward, Alex takes Robert to her "studio" (dungeon). She allows him to pick two toys. He picks a thick paddle with leather on one side, and a red heavy leather flogger "whip". She says good choice. 

When she begins beating him, he whimpers and squirms. She stops and says, don't you like it? He is confused, and she explains that if he likes it, he should say thank you, and act like he likes it instead of making "that hurts" noises. 

After beating him, she has him put on a cock ring, and asks about whether he has gotten off since he has been here (no), and if he would like to sleep at the foot of her bed. His voice breaks girly when he says he would, so she tells him, maybe next time I reward you. And she suggests he takes advantage of Sharon's offer of oral sex. 

Claudia's first day as housekeeper didn't go well. She avoided giving Brian orders, and it shows, as half his list of items was not completed. Chris asks her about it. Brian panics and Claudia can see it so she says that it is all her fault even though Brian was slow to do his tasks and hid because they could not figure out how to work together. She kept giving him helpless stares instead of his task list. When asked the same question, Brian defers that it wasn't his fault but that is wasn't really her fault either. Chris cuts him off and says lying is not acceptable and since you would not admit your fault, I have to punish you severely. 

Brain is placed under the protocols of being a pet. Pets don't use furniture, they crawl instead of walk, bark or make noise instead of speak, carry items gently in their mouth instead of with hands. 

Chris gives Claudia a cane, to learn to use, since she is in charge of running the household chores now. Rattan with a leather handle. He tells her to use it on Chris, and gives her instruction. He says they will advise her when to use the cane for the next two days, but after that she has to decide when to punish for herself. And if she doesn't punish as needed, she will trade jobs with Sharon. 

Chris tells Brian he is basically the worst of the group. Then sends him to bed. Except he has to sleep on the floor beside his bed.