1) Pregnancy. What if I missed taking pills for a week longer than I meant to when Carly got here? I woke up sick last night. I've been having other small changes with my body. If I'm pregnant, what if i hurt it by taking birth control?
2) I dreamed last night that you died. It's the second time in a week.
3) I stink and feel gross and unpretty. none of my outfits will go together like I imagine in my head. Also, i hate hugging people when i know I smell bad.
4) The power cord and foot pedal for my sewing machine is probably going to be around $50. So either we spend a lot of money on it, or it's useless.
5) The allergy pills alone aren't working, and it wears me down physically to itch and blow my nose 24/7. Probably adds dehydration, which may be why i feel so tired.
6) My foundation doesn't match my face, but it's expensive, so I know I can't ask for it.
7) I have been getting away with the things Carly is being punished for. I missed journalling I think 2 days, and when you were yelling at her for being out of uniform, I went to the bedroom and changed into uniform. I've been waiting for a time to tell you, but I also keep forgetting. I'm worried that when i do tell you, you'll be upset.
8) Money. This is always on the list. But we're a lot tighter this month than normal. And we have an extra mouth to buy straightening irons for.
9) I miss my closet/ being tied to the bed at night/bondage things.
10) I'm afraid that you'll take this as bitching, and not realize that I'm trying to be open with you in the way that I am required by my rules. I want to memorize my rules again.
11) I want to squirt more and I need practice. Which probably means anal. Which scares me a little even though i like it a lot.
12) Lace is worried you're still mad at her for the night you didn't finish the bedtime routine.
No comments:
Post a Comment