Master and i talked, about how much He's missed me this time. How much time He's wasted. I hope He remembers. Holding Him, connecting with Him, feeling his skin touching mine and how soft and smooth and  just.. remembering things we do and have done together. and love. I love Him so much.

I feel like I almost have to start over though, everything is so awkward and it's almost like I don't know him the same as I did before.


Jeremy in ice. Lauren was cold about it, because she feels like it's fair if it's the thing she thinks it is, when He scared Emily. In our head, I remember seeing her lock herself in her bedroom, and hide in full leathers underwater in her bathtub overnight. And she stayed there. And then when she tried to play at Matt's house, the first time she felt helpless or out of control, she ran back to her room again. She checked out from being out. And we felt the fear.     We didn't even do any real play with matt that night. Because we were afraid.  So yes, I wasn't very -- about it. Maybe I overreacted, but honestly I feel like I have to start over, and He hasn't really touched me since so I haven't had that opportunity and so I'm a little stuck, not knowing myself or my husband at the moment.



I very much can't wait for christmas tomorrow! well, christmas eve is tomorrow, but We're going over there and Master is opening a very exciting very scary present early so that he gets a chance to use it.

Oh shit, the salsa