serving when I'm angry makes me feel weak, pathetic, unappreciated.
It makes me feel like I've been told "you're absolutely useless to me, I don't want to see your face ever again.... go make me a sandwich." Because He can drop all Masterlyness but I still obey ALL protocols or risk punishment.
I mean who in their right mind goes and does something they don't want to do for someone they're angry with, knowing that the angry person won't appreciate it since they're angry. They won't be grateful, or say thank you, or think, "wow, she really loves me." They're just going to shrug, and dismiss that it was done for them. "Oh, she just does it because it gets her off. It's something she really wants in the long run."
I don't want an argument about this, so I won't go bug Him after what was just said between us, but if He could explain this to me so I can cope and keep serving without rebelling when I'm angry, I'd really appreciate it.
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