more jokes.

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.


The Doctor

As men age, we start seeing more and more of the medical world and its employees, which nowadays seems to have more and more women as our Physicians and Therapists ETC. And in this case a new Urologist for me.

My family Doctor just recently referred me to a just out of medical school female urologist.

I saw her yesterday, and she's absolutely drop-dead gorgeous as well as unbelievably sexy.




She told me that I must stop masturbating.

I asked her why, and she said, 

"Because I'm trying to examine you......"


Speeding in Pennsylvania~
A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the Pennsylvania State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said,
'I bet you're going to sell me a ticket to the State Troopers Ball.'
He replied ' Pennsylvania State Troopers don't have balls.' There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what he'd just said. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left. She was laughing too hard to start her car.

  Sue and Sally meet at their 30th class reunion, and they haven't seen each other since graduation. They begin to talk and bring each other up to date. The conversation covers their husbands, their children, homes, etc. and finally gets around to their sex lives.

Sue says "It's OK. We get it on every week or so but it's no big adventure, how's yours?" Sally replies "It's just great, ever since we got into S&M." Sue is aghast. "Really Sally, I never would have guessed that you would go for that."

"Oh, sure," says Sally, "He snores while I masturbate."

One day Mom was cleaning junior's room and in the closet she found a bondage S+M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her.
She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him.
He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word.
She finally asked him, " Well what should we do about this?"
Dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him."

Top 10 Things You'll Never Hear a sub say to their Master

1. How was I to know not to put your weather pants in the
washer.
2. Yeah, right... SPANK THIS!
3. Tomorrow night, I get to tie you up, right?
4. God, you Dom's think the world should bow before you!
5. And just what do you think you are going to do with that paddle?
6. Sorry, I got a date tomorrow night. Some other time, perhaps?
7. Spanking? I-THINK-NOT!
8. Who died and left you in charge?
9. Do your own damn laundry!

and the #1 thing you never hear a sub say to their Master
10. What do I look like, your maid?