lots of thoughts.

I am in hush right now. Master put me in hush last night, it helps calm me. It helps me sleep and be unafraid.

The visit with Master's parents was the best we've had. They bought us both lots of stuff, which made me very anxious, but i got a lot of clothes I really like, and Master got a new pair of jeans and some shirts that he really needed.  We ate out a lot. They spent a crazy amount of money while they were here. They were nice, they didn't say anything bad about us, or the house, or anything. It was really fun. I was so tired, but it as fun, and I'm so glad that he got to sped some good quality time with his parents.

It's almost 10:00 AM and Carly is still in bed. I've called her, and turned on the lights in her room. I'm finishing my journal before I wake him up, hopefully she'll be up by then.

I would like to request that I be allowed to stay in Hush long term today, when it's possible. I understand that it isn't possible around Major's parents, but it seems feasible for the rest of the day maybe. I feel it would allow me to follow orders better and concentrate more on my responsibilities than what everyone else should be doing. I very much feel it would help me feel more in my place. It was so jarring to hide my slavery for that long while they were here. I admit, having doors opened for me was very nice, and romantic and all, but I wouldn't give up following orders for it.

Side note:  I feel that Master may be overestimating how much I try to get Carly in trouble though. I feel that more often than not, I am keeping her out of trouble, telling her what she needs to do before she gets in trouble for it.


This is my last mention of having sex outdoors. If we don't plan for it, it will not happen, and I know that I have been on the verge of nagging, using it in arguments. It's something I REALLY want, but it's getting colder every day, and This is my decision to drop it. If Master would like to talk about it, that is fine, but I will not bring it up on my own.

I am concerned that Carly is being pushed to say red too often. YES, it is important to get her comfortable with saying it, but it is also important that she know that play isn't meant to end in red EVERY time. Also, I'd hate for her to overuse red at LHC.  


 --and I don't like Major trying to take control over her. I was thinking about it, wondering why he doesn't play with me like this, because I can handle pain like that, and then I realized it's because he tried this, and I would not obey someone other than my Master just because they tried to tell me what to do. I resented it, because it did not begin with major asking, "may I?" before playing that he is going to bend my will to his.



AND I SUCK at this TP PYRAMID THING. HARD!!! I keep trying but I always mess it up. (maybe spankings or something would help?)


Thank you for considering my thoughts and concerns, Master.