Aftercare is arguably the most-important part of a scene. A lot of people forget to negotiate it beforehand, and it is difficult to negotiate beforehand, because it is hard to know what you will want when you are in that state of mind, but it should be discussed. After a scene, the bottom will be in an endorphin and adrenaline induced high, and their emotions will most likely be in flux from one extreme to another if not properly cared for.
While it is possible to "snap out of" the floaty-yummy feelings and get back to business, it is highly recommended against unless absolutely necessary. Typically, the bottom will need water, a blanket, cuddles, something to snack on (a bar of chocolate works great), and a quiet place without distractions so that they can come back down gently. Excessive talking about extraneous topics should not happen now. No gossip, no specific details or bad things about the scene that just happened, and no planning tomorrow's grocery list. The bottom needs to know that they are the Top's sole priority right now. They need reassurance that they did well. If something interrupted the scene, it might be important to talk about it, but only enough to make sure that the bottom is coping with it the right way.
Other things that should occur in this time period (if applicable) are getting dressed, bathroom breaks, a cigarette, taking care of any scrapes, scratches or other medical necessities, any rituals the Top or bottom has post-scening, and picking up/cleaning/putting away toys.
Aftercare is important after any scene, but especially if the scene was interrupted for some reason, by a safeword, a medical issue, with bad feelings or emotions, if the scene was intense physically or emotionally, if the bottom has hit subspace, if humiliation was involved, if something/someone new and (potentially) frightening or limit-pushing was involved, and/or if either person had an orgasm. In these cases especially, both parties will need reassurance and possibly aftercare.
While not considered by most, both parties are typically in need of some form of aftercare. The Top in the scene could have reached Top-space as well, but even if they didn't, it is usually important that they receive care on some level. Most of the time the Top only needs to take care of the bottom, and reassure themself that he or she is alright and enjoyed it. Usually they need to be the one to take care of the bottom to get this reassurance. A lot of times Tops need snuggles or some type of physical affection as well. During this time period, most people "attach" emotionally to the person that they just played with, and need some sort of physical reassurance from the other party (typically snuggles).
After everyone has calmed down and feels normal again, the bandaids and hugs are given out, and everyone is capable of speaking, gauging their own needs, and typical motor function, the scene is generally considered over. At this point or maybe the next day it is good to talk about the scene and how both parties perceive it to have gone, both the good and the bad.
After this, there is always the possibility of "drop" which is when there is a semi-depressed emotional response later in relation to or because of the scene. It is important that the bottom have someone to call for emotional support if this happens. Sometimes, having the Top call to check in a few times the week after the scene can help give the emotional support the bottom needs to keep this from happening. Usually this is only necessary after heavier or emotional play scenes, but it is possible to happen after any scene. Depending on the scene and how intense it was, the Top may need to call to check in for more than a week.
From here on though, it is primarily the bottom's responsibility to take care of the after-effects of their scene. Since the bottom is the one who will be living with the possible consequences and byproducts of their scene, it is very important to take care of any emotional or physical issues as much as possible.
Bruises - If you want to heal quickly instead of show off those lovely bruises, apply ice during the first 24 hours. Ten minutes at a time every three to four hours will help drastically. This will reduce swelling and help with any pain. After the first 24 hours, apply heat instead. It helps remove the blood from the bruise by increasing circulation where the heat is applied. Hot showers are amazing, and also help relax your sore muscles!
If you want to apply a cream to speed healing as well, you can use aloe vera, Vitamin K, or arnica gel. These are all advertised to help bruises heal more quickly.
Getting plenty of sleep will help your body heal.
Get at least 10 minutes of sunlight a day! (Vitamin D)
If there is pain or swelling, you can take tylenol or ibuprofen, but avoid aspirin if possible, it is a blood thinner and will increase bruising.
The week after playing, you will need to eat plenty of fruits and vegetables in different colors. For fruits, you want blue, red, yellow, and orange. If you are craving something the day after your scene, it's probably because you need it. Important vitamins to get from food are Vitamin K, Vitamin C, Vitamin E, and Vitamin D.
Foods that help bruises heal:
Blueberries
Leafy Vegetables, like Broccoli, kale, spinach or cabbage
citrus fruit, like oranges or grapefruit
pineapple is very good for healing bruises
Cheese
Eggs
Milk
Yogurt - A fruit yogurt gets two categories in one.
These tips are also useful in the week before play to minimize getting bruises in the first place. Most of the things the various foods do to help heal bruises also helps prevent or minimize bruising in the first place. Disclaimer: Obviously if you have a heavy scene, it isn't going to completely prevent bruising. Most Tops play until they see some form of bruise anyway, so if these steps are new to you, be prepared to have your normal play partner play a bit harder with you! :) Also, I am not a doctor or anything, just gathered some info for a basic guideline from other various websites, and reading my essay will not magically remove any food or medical allergies you have or give you superpowers. Try to use common sense. Thanks.
Sources Cited
http://www.wikihow.com/Heal-a-Bruise
http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Rid-of-Bruises
http://healthyliving.msn.com/health-wellness/8-ways-to-heal-a-bruise-2
http://www.livestrong.com/article/265429-foods-that-help-bruises-heal-faster/
http://www.livestrong.com/article/404242-foods-to-help-ease-bruising/ (For which vitamins do what!)
http://health.howstuffworks.com/skin-care/problems/beauty/10-natural-ways-to-prevent-and-heal-bruises.htm
http://www.healwithfood.org/bruises/
http://www.healwithfood.org/bruises/diet.php
No comments:
Post a Comment