Birds (posted on Facebook)

I heard an animal noise that sounded like a very small but loud squeaky toy a few days ago. My first thought was that a few squirrels must be getting serious in one of their nests, but the sound moved, so I realized it was a bird. I finally figured out where it was coming from, and it was a very small bird about the size of a finch, which I thought might be one of the small woodpeckers who keep beating up our house. 

This morning I was awoken by not one, but two woodpeckers, beating their heads against the particular corner of the house where I sleep. Understandably irritated, I went outside and squeezed an empty water bottle in their direction. I was treated with a chorus of at least 4 small squeaky toys fussing back at me. Awake, I went back inside. 

A few minutes later, on the back porch, several other birds are also making lovely bird noises, but louder than normal. 

I go back inside, and suddenly realize I haven’t given them birdseed yet today. 

And now I’m wondering if the sudden increase in bird knocking has anything to do with that. Did the non head-banging birds go, “hey metalheads, can you help us out? The human is sleeping late and we are hungry.”

“Oh yeah, we got this. But when we have to talk to her, it’s gonna sound a little weird, we were out with the screamo crowd last night, and we are a little squeaky this morning.”