Sunday, October 23, 2016

Relly

1 Amandine
Amandine is a culinary term indicating a garnish of almonds. Dishes of this sort are usually cooked with butter and seasonings, then sprinkled with whole or flaked, toasted almonds. The term is often spelled almondine in American cookbooks.

2 Boil
To use large amount of rapidly bubbling liquid to cook food quickly by transferring heat from the liquid to the food. Boiling water has a temperature of 212°F (100°C).

3 Creamed
Blending to a creamy mass. Creaming, in this sense, is the technique of blending several ingredients — for example granulated sugar together with a solid fat like shortening or butter — and working them to a smooth mass. The technique is most often used in making buttercream, cake batter or cookie dough.

4 Croutons
A bread garnish sautéed in butter until crisp.

Toppings are garnishes that are added on top of the soup before service. Croutons are an example of a topping. Clear soups are normally served without a topping to allow the attractiveness of the soup to shine.

5 Duxelles
Finely chopped mushrooms and shallots sautéed in butter.

6 Fines herbs
Finely chopped herbs, specifically parsley, chives, tarragon, and thyme, mixed together and used as a seasoning. They are always added toward the end of the cooking time.

7 Glazed
A stock reduced until it coats the back of a spoon. Also called Glace. 

glaze in cooking is a coating of a glossy, often sweet, sometimes savoury, substance applied to food typically by dipping, dripping, or with a brush. Egg whites and basic icings are both used as glazes. They often incorporate butter, sugar, milk, and certain oils.

8 Gratin
gratin-style forcemeat
A forcemeat mixture in which part is precooked, giving it a roasted flavor.

Gratin is a widespread culinary technique in which an ingredient is topped with a browned crust, often using breadcrumbs, grated cheese, egg and/or butter.

9 Leafy Vegetables
Soft leafy vegetables (spinach, corn, broccoli, and asparagus). Soft, leafy vegetables are generally added to the soup after the liquid has reached a boil. (Page 535)

10 Onion brulée
oignon brûlée
An onion that is peeled, halved crosswise, and charred on a flat-top or in a skillet.

11 Onion pique
oignon piqué
An onion that is peeled and has a bay leaf attached to it with a whole clove; used to flavor béchamel sauce and some soups.

12 Organic
Organic food is the product of a farming system which avoids the use of man-made fertilisers, pesticides; growth regulators and livestock feed additives.

13 Puree
Purée the rest of the soup by passing it through a food mill, food processor, or blender.

purée is cooked food, usually vegetables or legumes, that has been ground, pressed, blended or sieved to the consistency of a soft creamy paste or thick liquid.

14 Sauté
A fast cooking method using high heat and a small amount of fat to create color and caramelized flavor on tender proteins.

15 Sauteuse
A round, lidded pan with small handles that is often used to sauté or braise a variety of foods. With short to medium height outward sloping sides, a sauteuse pan is a utensil for cooking casseroles, stews, and pasta dishes as well as meat and poultry dishes.

16 Sautoir
Sautoir has a large cooking surface and short straight sides that are about one quarter the diameter of the pan. ... A long, high handle aids the cook in jerking the pan, held closely over the heat, to roll the product over itself or “jump” it, which is to what the word sauté means in French.

17 Shallots
A member of the onion family, but formed more like garlic than onions. Shallots are favored for their mild onion flavor, and can be used in the same manner as onions. A shallot looks like a small, elongated onion with a copper, reddish, or gray skin. When peeled, shallots separate into into cloves like garlic. There are two main types of shallots: Jersey or "false" shallots (larger) and "true" shallots (more subtle flavor. Fresh green shallots are available in the spring and dry shallots (dry skin/moist flesh) are available year-round. Shallots come in three sizes – small, medium and jumbo (the least tasty). The younger (smaller) the shallot, the milder the taste. Do not confuse shallots with green onions or scallions.

18 Standard Breading
The procedure of coating a product in flour, eggs, and a breading agent, such as bread crumbs, cornmeal, or corn flakes.

19 Steam
Steaming works by boiling water continuously, causing it to vaporize into steam; thesteam then carries heat to the nearby food, thus cooking the food. The food is kept separate from the boiling water but has direct contact with the steam, resulting in a moist texture to the food.

20 Tomato Concassée
A preparation of tomatoes that have been peeled, seeded, and chopped.

21 Tourné
A series of cuts that simultaneously trim and shape the vegetable so that the final shape is similar to a seven-sided barrel or football.

22 Zest
The thin, bright-colored outer part of citrus rind, which contains volatile oil (flavor).

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Angry letter writing.

That moment when you look for information on something that was publicly available only to find that all groups, profiles, and website info on it has since been deleted and scrubbed. And current leadership tries to deny it ever existed. 

Furious doesn't begin to cover it. 

This is not the first time that things associated with this group have been done in an underhanded manner, or the first time that a person associated with this group has used their authority to further personal grudges. 

To the person making the subjective decision in regards to this: I have seen you allow something with one of my volunteers and then proceed to make a scene regarding another volunteer of mine about the same issue, causing me and them undue hardship because of your own personal reasons. You claim to be unbiased and fair to all parties but you are a gossip and a drama lover. I kept my mouth shut in the past because my husband asked me to do so. You just sent a powerful message in regards to my family and how you view us, regardless of our loyalty to you untold times. 
I will not have your back anymore, and you will no longer have my respect.

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Bedtime discussion

My point, respectfully. This is not meant to be accusatory.  (possible accusatory points. The statement that I need X hours of sleep, that you don't respect my needs in this regard, and that I need to get last minute ideas out of my head at night or I can't sleep.)



If waking up at 6:30 (ish), a reasonable time to go to be asleep is 10:30 PM (8 hours), and given 30 minutes time to get ready for bed, settle in, and actually fall asleep, 10 PM is a good time to be heading up the stairs for the night.

I don't start pushing for bedtime until 10 PM, and I am lax about this, usually bringing tea to help you sleep around or after 10 PM.
I know that you will not go to bed when I ask. I have no doubts about this. There is no situation where you are healthy that you go to bed the first time I mention it. You treat me as if saying "bedtime" forces you to stay up longer, but that is not true, because without prodding, you would not willingly go to bed.

I enjoy the few minutes in bed with you before we go to sleep. I enjoy the talk. It calms me and gets me ready to sleep. Being next to my husband, in bed, comforts me. Yes, once we are in bed, I stall and talk a few minutes, because it is what I need to settle down for the night. (I have told you this, and we have discussed and argued about it numerous times.) You need an hour plus of mind-numbing television, I need a few minutes with you where I settle down the loose ends of my mind for the night before bed. In short, no, I cannot do that before I go to bed "in the two hours I was waiting on you" because you are effectively ignoring me and excluding the conversation I need.



Now, I hate having this argument, it sucks that we keep going through this.

I don't like nagging.
I go to bed when you do (I wake up when you do!)
If I go to bed first, you don't trust yourself to come to bed at a reasonable time.
I am stuck waiting until you decide to go to bed.  (My needs are ignored in this respect. I go to bed 2 hours later than I would like to -every- school night.)
If you don't go to bed at a reasonable time, I don't get enough sleep.
If I don't get enough sleep, I may not be able to wake up on time, to wake you up.
I try very hard to stay awake with you, to not go back to bed. I feel extreme guilt over taking a nap during the day while you are gone. I don't accomplish as much when I nap, but I cannot function on 6 hours of sleep.
When I nap, I end up sleeping 12 hours total rather than 8 or 9.
I need to be effective and productive during the day. Sleeping 12 hours is not effective.
I need to write/talk/clear my head at night to sleep just as much as you need non-schoolwork before bed.


So.
The only solutions I can see for this:

-You come to bed on time, with me.
-I go to bed when I am tired, and you are responsible for coming to bed on your own time.
-The nagging and arguments continue, I keep telling you to go to bed 100 times, you keep getting mad at me for talking once we are in bed (or other pre-bed things that I need).
-We set a specific schedule for reminders and bedtime and pre-bedtime rituals and we stick to them.



Monday, October 17, 2016

Possible leads on a kitchen cart when we can afford it. BC I love my Relly

https://www.google.com/shopping/product/9813534868071532362?q=kitchen+cart+cutting+table&espv=2&biw=1097&bih=546&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwi-hMeytOPPAhUFQiYKHXFdAIEQ8gII7QUwEg

https://www.google.com/shopping/product/14907294839138121441?biw=1097&bih=546&q=kitchen+cart+&oq=kitchen+cart+&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwifjPPstOPPAhXIOiYKHUfwC3oQ8wII7AUwEA

https://www.google.com/shopping/product/13932040962407523435?biw=1097&bih=546&q=kitchen+cart+&oq=kitchen+cart+&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwifjPPstOPPAhXIOiYKHUfwC3oQ8gIIpgYwFw

https://www.google.com/shopping/product/16811465175120506249?biw=1097&bih=546&q=kitchen+cart+&oq=kitchen+cart+&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwifjPPstOPPAhXIOiYKHUfwC3oQ8gIIhQcwIw

https://www.google.com/shopping/product/13806130862851964451?biw=1097&bih=546&q=kitchen+cart&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjuzu6UtePPAhXLQyYKHW2PBvoQ8gIIpwQwAA

http://shopping.o37o.xyz/index.php?route=product/product&product_id=4&feed_id=97855&feed_name=stapleonly&seller=Staples

http://www.houzz.com/photos/58459249/Anthony-Kitchen-Cart-Stainless-Steel-kitchen-islands-and-kitchen-carts

Sunday, October 16, 2016

Stretching my fingers but getting out some feelings.

There is a time and place for being a little.
To be told that Michele cannot ever be asked to "adult" because that is "putting little in a box" is unrealistic, and unfair. There are times when things need to be negotiated, or important adult conversations need to be had, (or Relly needs service) and if every single conversation starts with a guilt trip that we are keeping you from "little-ing" and repressing your little, no progress will be made.
Assuming that your little will get to make all the decisions about what she wants to do, or have the same authority that you would if you were in adult submissive mode is unfair. If you are going to act like a child (be a little), then you cannot expect not to be punished in the same way if you are disobedient or acting up.
So far all verbal corrections have been the same as they would have if given to a child.

It is extremely unfair that you claim you will be able to serve and that "adult Michele" will be around and then every time we see you, you are always in little mode and never in adult, responsible, learning/training mode unless you are unhappy with how things are going, and then you change to "Adult Michele" to tell Relly off, but are unwilling to listen while adult michele.


Things that make it increasingly difficult to handle little:
"mine"
"little's mind not work that way"
"you are putting little in a box"

To do, general notes and thoughts, and decompression from the long weekend.

To Do

PAY BILL. $75. Was due the 12th.

PACKAGE and SHIP new toy sold on etsy.

Write notecard/recipes
Read assigned story
Other homework? Drfinitions and ABRV notes.

Tori
-Send sandwich email back
-Alternate donations, (something not made by my business, but of equal value)
- Major has not signed up as going.
-Vendor Trick or Treat on Saturday? :D

Call neighbor from old house to find out if/when surgery and how he is doing

Add completed book to goodreads :)

Clean up kitchen.
-Load DW
-Put away all spices/foodstuffs that are on counters
-wash nonDW dishes.
-move all boxes to dining room
-wipe down all surfaces
-sweep floor/swiffer floor
-take out trash and recycle

Garage Work
-Sand Oak Sticks
-clean off work table (matt's)
-bring in dog crate and set it up for dogs.

Craft Room Work
-Make something pretty with my new red leather.
-take pictures of new flogger
-organize floggers by color instead of item type, for kicks but also to see gaps

Organize her Office

Quick cleanup of His Office.

Fold and put away laundry

Move under-stairs boxes to correct locations

Take pictures of Emily workspace once all pretty! So I can share on social media





To do, general notes and thoughts, and decompression from the long weekend.

To Do

PAY BILL. $75. Was due the 12th.

PACKAGE and SHIP new toy sold on etsy.

Write notecard/recipes
Read assigned story
Other homework?

Clean up kitchen.
-Load DW
-Put away all spices/foodstuffs that are on counters
-wash nonDW dishes.
-move all boxes to dining room
-wipe down all surfaces
-sweep floor/swiffer floor
-take out trash and recycle

Garage Work
-Sand Oak Sticks
-clean off work table (matt's)
-bring in dog crate and set it up for dogs.

Craft Room Work
-Make something pretty with my new red leather.
-take pictures of new flogger
-organize floggers by color instead of item type, for kicks but also to see gaps

Organize her Office

Quick cleanup of His Office.

Fold and put away laundry

Move under-stairs boxes to correct locations







Friday, October 14, 2016

Not happy. Words with matt.

1) wrong cheese ! After long conversation saying not processed cube-shape, must be flat package.
2) Leaving dishes for me to wash. By hand. BIG NOPE.  a) Pans b) downstairs nasty-bowl with bean-leftovers c) leaving nasty food, especially meat somewhere for more than 24 hrs without throwing it away (This includes sandwich meat packages) is also not ok.
3) Applying work orders without notifying anyone else in the house.
a) If the repairman/etc did not show up before you leave, it is your responsibility to TELL SOMEONE that someone will be over today. Telling the repairman to "give us a heads up" doesn't count and is not acceptable.
b) If you meant you texted Relly to call you but he didn't call before you left for work, WTF, you could have walked up the stairs and knocked.
c) If you won't be here, don't file a freaking work order.
4) you have no right or say in when Relly or Emily gets out of bed. Especially if Relly has the day off.  (So again, do not file a freaking work order for a day when you will not be here without speaking to someone.)

OK, so in the scheme of things 1) isn't probably a huge deal and was probably a mistake. But it does underline the fact that I was speaking, and I was specific, and you still didn't pay enough attention to get the right thing.

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Recipe idea

Ground pork burger with sage mayo sauce. 

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Yearly goals. October

Cultivate new skills 
Really want to get better at my etsy shop. Currently reading the "how to sell what you make" book and hoping I will learn some from that. 

Save $500 this year. That's $50 a month 
Make it through this month! Pay for LHC hotel with business money if possible. 

Church. 
Find and unpack my Bible!

Read 25 books.  

15/25

Make a list of books I want to own. 
1) the phantom tollbooth
2) the BGF (big friendly giant)
3) howl's moving castle


Make a list of books I own. 
Nope. Set up bookshelves inside once we finish unpacking the house though.

Buy 12 new books

Done. 


Make 12 sales on Etsy.
Jan, 30 total listings in my etsy store.
1) red/brown flogger pair, to Canada! 
2) rainbow segmented flogger, to UK!
Feb, 
40 total listings in my etsy store
3) Multicolor flogger and phoenix tail flogger
4) Tan and Green flogger pair
April , 
70 total listings before wingnut event. Now down to 56 listings
5) gray flogger with dark red tips
6) olive wood handle flogger to Denmark
11/12

Spend 3 days a week in the garage, working. Or painting. Or leatherworking. Or putting stuff on etsy. 
Make my business an actual job.
Begin a schedule again!


Make something beautiful (x 12)
Olive handle flogger
Caramel Bocote flogger

Make home a place I want to be.
If I don't need/use/want it, throw it out!

Stop apologizing
Be me. Stand up for myself. Be spontaneous. Be creative.

Business Post, October


Leather History Conference (hotel costs, $301.05. Event fee $150 plus $75 item donation)
WDT023 Punishment Stick, blue lanyard $60
THD017 Orange Leather Bat (Skully 4x4) $65
STNG001 Lotus Flogger $40
STNG007 Short Phoenix Flogger $45
SNP010 Green palm frond flogger $40
Purple/red braided mini whip $25
purple/black braided mini whip $20
SET016 (Set of 4 items) Daddy green flogger, leather bat, mini flogger, paddle flogger $175

LHC Trade
BRD002 Short cat o 9 (Value $55, Traded to Nancy for Sewing alterations)
BRD003 Short cat o 7 (Value $55, Traded to Barking Leather for leather vest, gift)
THD021 Long purple leather bat (Value $60, Traded to Barking Leather for leather vest, gift)
STNG009 Orange Stingy Flogger (Value $55, Traded to Skully 4x4 for a display table, business expense/item)

Paid Order
$55 purple/black leather bat, Pixie

Etsy
THD018 Small ostrich print leather bat, to CT, $80 (plus shipping)  10/16/16 
WDT004 Wooden Spoon, red, $10 (plus shipping) 10/19/16
WDT021 Punishment Stick (Dellinger) $40 (plus shipping) 10/23/16

Donations
BSC003 Black basic Flogger, Green turtle handle ($40 value) Donated to SELF event.

Dream last night.

The man across from us began speaking about monsters, but not in a horrible way. The word monster referred to the creatures of nightmares, but did not condemn any of them, did not claim them to be evil, only powerful. A reference to respect and power. I grinned, being a monster myself, wondering what kind of monster he thought I was, we were.
I ran to my Master and nibbled his neck, and embraced him. We were there together, talking to this other person, who had a sense of leadership to him.

I know what kind of monster you are. You're a wolf.
How did you know?
I saw the gleam in your eye when you spoke. You were ready for the gore and violence, you enjoy it.


Then the ones with him changed as well. They were also wolves. They wanted me, to own me for their group. I stepped aside, I told my master to stay back, that they wouldn't hurt me, but they might hurt him. He allowed me to handle it.
I stepped forward but did not change or allow them to circle me. They made advances one at a time and I fought them off with my bare hands. The obvious leader of this group, but not the man we had spoken with before, was the last to approach and the others were all knocked down, at least for the moment. Then the man told him not to attack, but to seduce. He changed back, and I backed away. They kept calling me pup, or little one, to try and anger me, force a change, get into my head, but I stood, small and strong, almost stocky, confident in myself, their wolves up to my shoulders.
My master sent electricity to my body as the pack leader came close to me. It was one I was used to but still hurt. I didn't flinch but it took me a moment to get my bearings with it. He moved to my side and put his hands on my hips. The electricity surged through me, but he didn't pull away. He whispered to me, moved close, tried to get me to open up. They wanted to breed, I could be certain now. Their whole group was male. And they were on their feet again. His arm was around my waist as the electricity got stronger. I glanced to my master, I can take it. But the shock did not make him pull away. His trainer must be harder on him. He grabbed my neck and pulled my hair, making my mouth open, pushed a stick in between my teeth. When he tried to kiss me, I saw it, the older man shot him with a energy gun, but not electricity because it didn't go through me as well. It tore him away from me and arched his back before he was able to compose himself.



Monday, October 10, 2016

To Do today

6:15 Alarm
Make coffee/ pack lunch/sodas
make sure relly has everything he needs for school
Wish Relly a good day
Breakfast/tea/hearthstone
Pick up laundry/towels
Wash clothes - Towels!
Fold/put away existing clean laundry
Hang up Relly important clothing
Put contact paper in upstairs bathroom under sink BEFORE shower

Walk dogs 8AM

Shower/shave

Begin new floggers? LEATHER is outside :(

Put away dishes in kitchen?

Nap?

Walk dogs - Afternoon

Saturday, October 8, 2016

The ones who walk away from Omelas. -Introspection

The ones who walk away from Omelas.

I find myself troubled after reading the story.
I wonder how an entire civilization can only mourn someone who is still suffering, how those leaving don't try to take the child away from the place. There is no rescue, only pity, guilt, and running away.

But I look at my own society. There is not happiness and joy everywhere, but there is a general contentment in our own lives- our own existence, even at the price of another, maybe because of the price others are paying. There is the same guilt and helpless feeling as people cry out their passion to help others on social media, but follow it up with no other action. Verbal support is great, but does nothing for those suffering. Verbal support doesn't pay bills, change laws, start social change or acceptance of an issue.

In my business, I find myself hoping others that make similar goods to me will fail, because I hope for the business they are getting. I want to do better than the others. I feel that in order to be successful, I must compare my success to theirs. I do this especially when things are going badly. When I am not selling anything, when things are tough, I look at others and wonder what I am doing wrong, what i could do differently. I find myself holding back positive praise from these others, hoping that my friends will be my customers and not others. even if we don't necessarily sell the same product.

I see the people in this society who suffer, and I see our society mourn those people while they still suffer, without offering a hand. And I think we all feel that if those people were to be lifted out of those dark places, we, or someone else would fall into those same dark places and be without help.
We are all afraid that if we give help to those in need, we will fall also.


Now

Get list from homeowner of things not working in house.
-take under sink picture
-take picture of doorstop and towel bar
-sink in kitchen leaking

Move stuff in garage and begin working on punishment sticks!

Put away stuff in kitchen
-put down contact paper in kitchen.

Put away stuff in craft room.



Soon
October 15, Pay $75 bill
Send in sandwich requests for LHC

Later
Oct 28ish Pay for LHC hotel room

sexual cravings.

There is something endearing about a bruise on my own skin. It's an untold memory on my own skin. A secret memory that only I know, of fun or bravery or some clumsy moment.

I can't help but think of the hickey on my neck, and the fun we had in the dark, me on top, hands on the wall for balance and somehow wondering if it was the absolute darkness or the fun between us that made him enjoy it at the same time. Do I have to be quiet? But the quiet, the dark, the only sensation as physical contact made it intense and alive. Is alive an emotion, or something to sense?

I crave my punishment stick bruises, my sensory deprivation hood, but not at the same time.
With the hood I want soft blankets and silk scarves and firm but still gentle touch on my skin. I want the physical sensation of love.  And cuddles, like i am a giant human stuffed animal.
With the punishment stick I want structure and panties and patience when I can't stand still, and slow determined hits at a regular pace, distant enough in time to not count as a rhythm, and something to hold on with or to. something to bite?
But I want degradation and hands on my neck and hands tied behind me, and being shoved around and pulled around by rope, and hair pulled, but just so, not quite too hard.