progress

As of last night, all 12 floggers for the order were finished.

I had trimmed up the 3 squares of leather to be the right shape.

This morning I am cutting the falls on those pieces.

Then I plan to put the corsets on the other 2 floggers that are close to completion, and maybe cut some more squares and falls.












It felt like I spent all day yesterday waiting on Major to do one thing or another, when honestly I wish I had been working on floggers all day.
He said he wanted to go to the store, so I got ready and then he wasn't ready. We went to lowes, tractor supply, walmart, and subway.

Then I thought we'd get raiding done early because I told him I did not want to try to play right after raiding. I asked the night previous that we not go straight from raiding to playing, because it makes me feel worn out and gives me a headache.

I ate my sandwich and after, I thought we would raid, so i waited on wow for 2 or 3 hours. When i was so sick of wow I couldn't do it anymore, he wanted to raid. So I told him I was taking an hour break, and finished my floggers to 100%.

Then we raided.

I asked him previous to watching 1 episode of my show that he warn me before he wanted to play so that I could get a shower, and try to feel less blah.  We immediately started wrestling-ish after raiding.

He talked all week about this. And all day talked about how he needed to go "look up ideas." And then said he didn't have any ideas about what to do to me. I told him i didn't care that much about it being so super exciting whatever.  So, with Susy out, he states that his intention is to go get my butt plugs and do anal play with me. I said no, clearly, 3 times. I did not say red, but I did say no, and not in a screaming begging way.  We wrestled and pinched each other for another 30 minutes or so and then susy ended up running to the box "safe zone"

He tried to lure her out with chocolate milk, and then said "good night hun" and left.
After about an hour, she came out, took all her stuffed animals with her, and went to bed.


I feel like he was looking for an excuse not to play. It may not be the case, but I feel that way.

And I'm trying not to let that switch flip in my head, because I don't want to lose him as a friend. But this is getting harder. I'm so tired of this continuous buildup to nothing. I wouldn't have minded "nothing" as much if he hadn't tried to build me up to it all week.

Or if we had actually snuggled, instead of laying sideways across the bed in the "you won't be staying long" position.

Because honestly here, how good would it have been for me if he had held me, and told me everything was gonna be ok instead of trying to make some elaborate painful scene when i couldn't even stand to have my nipples touched and made it clear that wasn't what I wanted.





I feel like yesterday was a complete waste of my time and I feel stupid for even trying to enjoy it.