long story short, we were arguing. We shouldn't have been, I've been trying to be good and not be pissy. Tonight I didn't do it. I tell Him to get off of me, and he reminds me that I am His property and if sitting on me is what He wants to do, He'll do it. He tells me to put my hands spread to each corner of the bed, and to do the same with my legs. He starts playing around, but it hurts me because i'm angry and not turned on at all. My knee goes up. He forces me back into position several times, each time hurting me again or going back to sucking on my nipples (which doesn't feel good). I'm not even trying to fight back, it's just that i keep pushing my leg up by reflex every time it hurts. I can't keep it down. He forces a toy inside me. It doesn't want to go in at all. I don't want it to go in. He says if I listen and obey He won't hurt me. He makes me answer that i believe Him. He tickles me, and says that doesn't count. I'm suddenly enjoying it, because I suddenly realize that he's enjoying it even though I'm not. That He's raping me to interrupt an argument, to punish me, to serve me right! I'm surprised the toy didn't melt, because it was as if an atomic bomb went off in my vagina, the temperature change was catastrophic. And instead of being stiff and letting Him know how much I would hurt Him if I was allowed to fight back, I'm whimpering and obedient. AND he stops. Asks me if I want Him to stop. Says He'll do whatever I want. Asks what I want. Do I want Him to stop? Do I want to move my arms, do I want Him to wash His hands? And my head flipped inside out again. Why does He care what I want, He was supposed to be raping me. I put the pillow over my head and screamed into it. and then He decided to shove something huge up my butt without any prior play in that area. It hurt going in, but then it only hurt sometimes afterword until He replaced the toy with His penis.
I ended up with green duct tape over my mouth.
"Give me a color, how are you doing?"
"mmmmmmmm ymmymmmuuum"
"Oh, green? Good. I want to try something."
When He decided to use my ass, He literally just shoved it in, put a pillow over my head and went to town until he came. I don't think I stopped screaming the entire time He was inside me. It's funny how duct tape muffles the words and then it gets to the point where you don't try to speak anymore, you just make noises that fit the emotion you're feeling at the time. And people still seem to understand.
When He told me to come, when I still had the toy inside me and He was using my vagina, it fell out. I was so disappointed I literally tried to reach the other toy to beg Him to put it in my ass so it would stay. He started yelling at me that I had shit on the bed. I could tell by the way He said it that He was trying to embarrass me but I couldn't feel humiliated somehow. maybe it's because even though I knew it was off the toy and was on the bed, I couldn't see it since I didn't have my glasses on, or maybe I was just enjoying the sex and being used and raped too much.
It was so good. He's so big, and definitely knows how to use what he's got.
And my Master always makes me smile when i don't want to.
Thank You.
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