everyone is so tense and nervous, and there's so much going on that its hard to be patient, but I have to.
we've been at major's house for almost a week, and it sucks. I mean, I get to sleep in the bed with major (except last night, Master wanted me with Him, He wasn't feeling well) so it's not on the couch again, or anything, it's just... not home. not my bed, not my shower, not my washing machine.
but I've gotten a shit ton of work done on the party - online and volunteer wise and writen lists and...
we had sex the night before we came to major's. Anal, because we couldn't find the condoms.
Had anal a few days ago, because major was asleep adn we couldn't find his condoms.
I sat on Master's face last night, so we didn't need condoms.
I'm fucking horny. I have had nothing in my vaginal region, only in my ass. I mean, the whole facesitting doesn't count to me, at least, I don't really enjoy oral, i enjoy being rammed by His cock.
We've been talking about having sex with other people. it's a big deal. it's like cucking. except if He wants to use me during or after, He can. Sometimes the idea makes me wet (especially the being double teamed by Master and major, and not knowing who is fucking me) but about 60% of the time, it makes em nervous and anxious and I worry. He really likes the idea of sending me in to major's room to "take care of him". It made Him hard, and that's when he fucked me in the ass. He sent me into major's room to give him a handjob (we're not going to do this until we've all gotten std tests, and I'm on birthcontrol, and Master has to tell me to have sex with major or I won't be able to do it, I'd feel too guilty and nervous and worried.) and major had a bad headache and is getting the flu, so he asked for a raincheck.
I found my anklet. the one I lsot after Master and I had a huge huge fight about it... like 4 months ago. The one where I spent the night in walmart... the one mentioned here on the 13th maybe more than 4 months ago, last reference to it was March, and i can't find reference to the argument, I think he asked me not to talk about it on here. but I'm wearing it now.
Master took away my blogging rule. i miss bloggig every day. I told Him that today, and so I'm blogging under orders to do so.
I mean, think of everything I've missed, an orgasm, the decision to let me have sex with major, finding my anklet silver collar :) buying a new collar (oh I forgot that one didn't i) and some other stuff I'm sure I've forgotten.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Sunday, October 23, 2011
a real orgasm
posting from 10-29-11 about this. we don't have internet at home, soo....
10 29 is the monday after the LHC, which we went to on Thursday, and left to come home on Sunday.
The event was a lot of fun, we met a few cool people and got a tour of the leather library, and got some donations for the auction at our party on Nov 5th... dessi was there. she wasn't interested in the library and was grumpy a lot. Major played with me. we played with rope a lot. He tied me up, and I'd get loose and that was our scening/playing. and then I got a back massage/beating :D at the end. I was pretty out of it. I really missed being tied up like that for fun. it had been a long time. The first night, Master had sex with me after everyone went to sleep. the next two nights, I slept in major's bed, and he fingered and played with me. I got in trouble for not waking Master up on the 2nd day for breakfast and stuff. Since the conference, and at it, He's really been stepping up to make sure that I listen and obey, and follow orders the way I should.
At major's house I found out I'm allergic to jelly dildos (so some type of silicon mixture that's in lubes, and jelly toys) because major was tired and lent me one to use while Master and him slept. I played wow after that. Master wasn't pissed about the toy, adn He didn't laugh at me either.
On the way home (we stayed at major's a few hours because Master was tired, then picked up the dogs from my mom's house and drove home at like 2 AM) He talked to me all about the things we did this weekend, and then told me that when we got home, He wouldn't fuck me until I'd found washed, laid out all my toys, and then used them all thoroughly on myself. Then I would have to present myself to Him while I had the glass plug in my ass. Then He made me stop touching myself.
I played with a lot of the toys, but didn't make it through all of them. I started crying at one point, and he came and made me start masturbating again, and got my head out of where it had been. (I was using 4 toys, one in my ass, cunt, and mouth, while I had the only vibrator that still works on my clit) . The candy cane. I showed Him how I could touch the back of my throat with it, and had Him take hold, and He held my head down with the toy while I held the vibrator on my clit, and He made me start gagging on it (on purpose, in fact I think it was my idea.) and one of us also fucked me with a toy, also. It made me really wet when I was gagging on something, even though I really don't like it. So He straddled me, and pushed His cock down my throat (He had been in the other room, and I found out shortly prior to this that He'd masturbated and got off, so didn't expect to fuck me, or be turned on again) it tasted so sweet for some reason, and then it was too deep to tell, and I was gagging, He licked my clit, and I really didn't want to gag/choke on it, but I could tell my body liked it... and then we started fucking, and I asked for permission to come, and He said yes, and that happened 4 times total. the first three, I was squirting, and I could feel and control it and it was crazy exciting. And the 4th time, he didn't answetr, so I held it... I don't know how, I've never even been able to tell wheni squirt before, so it was such a foreign feeling to me, but I did it anyway, and when He finally said I could coe, I had an orgasm! I could tell the difference, I don't think I can tell the difference before it happens, because I didn't know there was one anyway... but after, I knew.. and he felt it, says it felt way different than before... and I was drunk for about 22 hours afterward. It was the best feeling ever. (once the orgasm wore off, I was grouchy for a day, but I think that was withdrawal maybe. I mean, it was the best feeling ever.)
10 29 is the monday after the LHC, which we went to on Thursday, and left to come home on Sunday.
The event was a lot of fun, we met a few cool people and got a tour of the leather library, and got some donations for the auction at our party on Nov 5th... dessi was there. she wasn't interested in the library and was grumpy a lot. Major played with me. we played with rope a lot. He tied me up, and I'd get loose and that was our scening/playing. and then I got a back massage/beating :D at the end. I was pretty out of it. I really missed being tied up like that for fun. it had been a long time. The first night, Master had sex with me after everyone went to sleep. the next two nights, I slept in major's bed, and he fingered and played with me. I got in trouble for not waking Master up on the 2nd day for breakfast and stuff. Since the conference, and at it, He's really been stepping up to make sure that I listen and obey, and follow orders the way I should.
At major's house I found out I'm allergic to jelly dildos (so some type of silicon mixture that's in lubes, and jelly toys) because major was tired and lent me one to use while Master and him slept. I played wow after that. Master wasn't pissed about the toy, adn He didn't laugh at me either.
On the way home (we stayed at major's a few hours because Master was tired, then picked up the dogs from my mom's house and drove home at like 2 AM) He talked to me all about the things we did this weekend, and then told me that when we got home, He wouldn't fuck me until I'd found washed, laid out all my toys, and then used them all thoroughly on myself. Then I would have to present myself to Him while I had the glass plug in my ass. Then He made me stop touching myself.
I played with a lot of the toys, but didn't make it through all of them. I started crying at one point, and he came and made me start masturbating again, and got my head out of where it had been. (I was using 4 toys, one in my ass, cunt, and mouth, while I had the only vibrator that still works on my clit) . The candy cane. I showed Him how I could touch the back of my throat with it, and had Him take hold, and He held my head down with the toy while I held the vibrator on my clit, and He made me start gagging on it (on purpose, in fact I think it was my idea.) and one of us also fucked me with a toy, also. It made me really wet when I was gagging on something, even though I really don't like it. So He straddled me, and pushed His cock down my throat (He had been in the other room, and I found out shortly prior to this that He'd masturbated and got off, so didn't expect to fuck me, or be turned on again) it tasted so sweet for some reason, and then it was too deep to tell, and I was gagging, He licked my clit, and I really didn't want to gag/choke on it, but I could tell my body liked it... and then we started fucking, and I asked for permission to come, and He said yes, and that happened 4 times total. the first three, I was squirting, and I could feel and control it and it was crazy exciting. And the 4th time, he didn't answetr, so I held it... I don't know how, I've never even been able to tell wheni squirt before, so it was such a foreign feeling to me, but I did it anyway, and when He finally said I could coe, I had an orgasm! I could tell the difference, I don't think I can tell the difference before it happens, because I didn't know there was one anyway... but after, I knew.. and he felt it, says it felt way different than before... and I was drunk for about 22 hours afterward. It was the best feeling ever. (once the orgasm wore off, I was grouchy for a day, but I think that was withdrawal maybe. I mean, it was the best feeling ever.)
Friday, October 14, 2011
Change in Rules, Documented
My new rules remove Rule 11, my blogging rule.
1. I will not cut.
2. My Husband will be informed of my desire to cut as it occurs or increases.
3. I will take care of my body with proper hygiene, eating habits, and will also wear attractive clothing and make-up for my Husband.
4. I will use the title "Sir" appropriately when speaking to my Husband, but will replace "Sir" with "Baby" when in public.
5. I will show the proper respect to myself and my body in my words and actions. I am my Master's property and do not have the right to speak badly of something He treasures.
6. I will show the proper respect and deference to my Husband; He is my Master and deserves the best I have to offer.
7. I will walk with confidence in the knowledge that my Master loves me. I will not keep my head down, I will show pride in being His possession, especially when in public.
8. I will not hold back my feelings, emotions, or voice during sex or sexual play unless otherwise directed by my Husband.
9. I will use my safe word, stairwell, the return word being ladderwell, when I have need to.
10. While wearing my collar, I will obey my Husband's commands as if each were my own thoughts. I will put on my collar (or other token of submission) in the morning when I wake up, and will not take it off until I go to bed at night, take a shower, or are otherwise directed to do so by my Master.
11. I will blog daily. If I am in a situation where I cannot blog, I will ask permission not to blog from my Master, so that He knows I am thinking of my responsibilities.
1. I will not cut.
2. My Husband will be informed of my desire to cut as it occurs or increases.
3. I will take care of my body with proper hygiene, eating habits, and will also wear attractive clothing and make-up for my Husband.
4. I will use the title "Sir" appropriately when speaking to my Husband, but will replace "Sir" with "Baby" when in public.
5. I will show the proper respect to myself and my body in my words and actions. I am my Master's property and do not have the right to speak badly of something He treasures.
6. I will show the proper respect and deference to my Husband; He is my Master and deserves the best I have to offer.
7. I will walk with confidence in the knowledge that my Master loves me. I will not keep my head down, I will show pride in being His possession, especially when in public.
8. I will not hold back my feelings, emotions, or voice during sex or sexual play unless otherwise directed by my Husband.
9. I will use my safe word, stairwell, the return word being ladderwell, when I have need to.
10. While wearing my collar, I will obey my Husband's commands as if each were my own thoughts. I will put on my collar (or other token of submission) in the morning when I wake up, and will not take it off until I go to bed at night, take a shower, or are otherwise directed to do so by my Master.
still on my period
and still no internet at home. this is day 2 at matt's house. Master has been sick, and last time we were at matt's house (the 8th) He had a bad cold/nausea thingy. I made Him drink loads of orange juice, and He felt much better. Now He's feeling sick again, but mostly a stomach bug, and less sinuses and allergies.
I wanted pain last night and it caused an argument today. I've been pretty clingy lately though.
I've been making a lot of those leather bracelets, key-chains, and necklaces to try and help support us. It's not much, I know -trust me I know- but it makes me feel less useless around my family, who act like I'm worthless because I don't have a job.
I've been telling Him how much I need Him to be more dominant lately. I really need it, and I know He's sick so I'm trying to combine the two and such. but.. idk. I wasn't feeling very useful as a slave the past week or so, and I really hate that my blogging rule has (as of today) been removed from my rules.
I wanted pain last night and it caused an argument today. I've been pretty clingy lately though.
I've been making a lot of those leather bracelets, key-chains, and necklaces to try and help support us. It's not much, I know -trust me I know- but it makes me feel less useless around my family, who act like I'm worthless because I don't have a job.
I've been telling Him how much I need Him to be more dominant lately. I really need it, and I know He's sick so I'm trying to combine the two and such. but.. idk. I wasn't feeling very useful as a slave the past week or so, and I really hate that my blogging rule has (as of today) been removed from my rules.
Monday, October 10, 2011
.
Finally started my period. The last possible day to start it, by my calculations! looks like my period is going back to every 28 days instead of every 21! Started at exactly 0900. And when it started, a lot of pain, and blood, came with it.
backposted to the day my period started, this is actually 10-14-11, and my first chance to post aboutit, we're at matt's house and the internet isn't working at home.
backposted to the day my period started, this is actually 10-14-11, and my first chance to post aboutit, we're at matt's house and the internet isn't working at home.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
internet has been down at home
We fought really badly this past week. And then He fucked me and I'm in a much better mood.
He made me take a pregnancy test, I still haven't had my period... I think the last day I should start it possibly would be monday. The test said no baby! I don't want to be pregnant!
Luke bought Candy a Zhu Zhu pet, those hamster things. It's white with pink highlights and a pink face adn she loves it.
Master is sick. He's mostly ok but getting tired pretty easily the past few days, and He's coughing and stuff. I've been trying to feed him plenty of orange juice and chicken noodle soup. He missed work again this week, but He's miserable when he thinks of work. (His boss is a corrupt lowlife asshole who wants to do everything the easy way, which is mostly illegal etc... and so Master is going to move to a different department at work so that he can be under someone else and not have to worry about anything.)
I fell down their stairs (mostly just slid down and landed on my ass, but my wrists and hands hurt from trying to catch myself.) I don't think I did any damage or anything, I'm just a little banged up.
I miss blogging every day. It's not required anymore though, and I don't think Master has even really been reading them lately (past month or so) so I guess there's not much piont in even blogging unless it's something important or I'm so bored there's a reason to do it.
He made me take a pregnancy test, I still haven't had my period... I think the last day I should start it possibly would be monday. The test said no baby! I don't want to be pregnant!
Luke bought Candy a Zhu Zhu pet, those hamster things. It's white with pink highlights and a pink face adn she loves it.
Master is sick. He's mostly ok but getting tired pretty easily the past few days, and He's coughing and stuff. I've been trying to feed him plenty of orange juice and chicken noodle soup. He missed work again this week, but He's miserable when he thinks of work. (His boss is a corrupt lowlife asshole who wants to do everything the easy way, which is mostly illegal etc... and so Master is going to move to a different department at work so that he can be under someone else and not have to worry about anything.)
I fell down their stairs (mostly just slid down and landed on my ass, but my wrists and hands hurt from trying to catch myself.) I don't think I did any damage or anything, I'm just a little banged up.
I miss blogging every day. It's not required anymore though, and I don't think Master has even really been reading them lately (past month or so) so I guess there's not much piont in even blogging unless it's something important or I'm so bored there's a reason to do it.
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