limits.

its so hard to admit weakness to him, when i look up to him so much.... but i need... omgosh i NEED ... i want to please... i need to please.... time to make dinner, he hinted at it an hour ago... i guess i took my angry out on both of us..

i hate limits, my limit is when i'm screaming in pain, not pleasure, when i see blood, when i can't breath, when i hear something crack... but not when i say, i never feel i can judge when i'm unable to handle it. my L key is going now, too.

i love you, Andrew. i want to please. i want to say my safeword. but damn i feel like such a failure when i say it, when everythign stops, when i can't finish, can't please fully, i have to stop. i hate it. it makes everything before it worthless.

unless we were to continue play until i say the safeword, i feel i should never say it. unless someone is at the door, or some other emergency not relating to my pain threshold. i am so sorry, i'm still fighting to say it in my head.