No sex. yup, that's what I said. I am allowed no sex until I agree to use the safe word when I need to. No bondage, no discipline, no hand over my mouth, no fucking sex. at all. Because of my stupid pride. I can't say my safeword. I just can't do it. If I'm hurting, I can't say stop because I feel like a failure if I stop. Even though I know he wants me to. I know he wants me to say stop when I need it. I know it in my head, but I still can't help but feel like I failed, because I couldn't handle it.
But he's touching me. He's teasing me. I'm allowed to masturbate, he can't stop me from pleasuring myself... and I like the attention. I like backrubs at night, and the things he says, the stories he comes up with. I like feeling him masturbate in bed beside me... Most of all though, I like the soft, touching nice nice backrubs. but I know it can't last.
If I enjoy it for too long, he'll get mad, think I'm being insolent on purpose, and stop trying altogether...
Whats a poor girl to do?
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