Thank you

I was emotionally and social useless today. I had trouble functioning yesterday, I couldn't make decisions or focus on basic tasks long enough to complete them, and it was getting worse. So I asked for your help. I asked for you to take control, I said that I didn't want to try and decide what was important, I needed you to tell me what to do, and when to do it. I didn't want to attempt to do things alone without a higher focus. Basically, the knowledge that someone had told me to do it and was waiting on me. I asked for you to help me today, because I didn't know how bad it was going to be. 

I had the presence of mind to make a to do list this morning, and that went well and you helped me check off all the things I needed to do, even my makeup. 

When we got to the event I was overwhelmed by how many vendors were stuffed into such a small meeting room. I was overwhelmed socially by how many people were there, before any customers showed up. I felt like I was drowning on air, like I couldn't get a breath. I was sweating. You told me to set up, and after about 30 seconds I had forgotten what I was supposed to be doing. You were patient and reminded me to set up my booth until I had it finished. 

You drew me into normal when you were chatting with Ben, and making coffee gave me a chance to go out of the claustrophobia room and catch my breath. 

You told me to hush at all the right times, especially when I didn't see it coming that I was starting to babble on about something because I was freaking out. You calmed me in a room full of people. 

You gave me pain, but not enough to make me cry. Just what I needed, and helped me wake up from the numb feeling. 

I had to run to the bathroom to hide, it was the only quiet place I knew. You sent someone to check on me, and I love you for it. I was crying and I couldn't hide it from you on the phone, but you were the only one who knew, and you kept me safe from being embarrassed. 

You confronted and resolved the issue. You handled it well and professionally and I needed to be in hush then. You understood everything I needed and you kept me ok. You made a horrible emotional day into a good day, a great day. 

I was struggling to be ok, and now I look back on today and don't have any bad feelings about it. It was a "bad day" in terms of how capable I was of handling it emotionally and socially, but it was a great day when I look back at it. You were there for me every time I needed you. I didn't say anything to cause a scene, draw attention to myself in a bad or pitiable way, and as far as I know, no one but you realized how hard it was or the extent of how much trouble I was having. 

You made me normal. You completed me in a way I didn't think was possible.  You reached me in the pit of the sad alone feeling. 

You turned a bad day into a memory I will treasure. 

Thank you for being there and taking care of me. Thank you for owning all of me. 

I love you!