Punishment and really good sex.

Master gave my collar back today. Well, put it on me. It was taken away from me on 11-12-13. It's been a week.  (11-19-13)

It was a pretty strong reality check to realize how much it grounds me. I didn't think about it so much when I didn't have it, except to feel a rush of anger every time I saw it on His belt, but thinking back over the past week I really have 1) avoided the black choker I was supposed to wear in it's place when i always look forward to having my collar put on and taken off in the mornings and at night. 2) I don't listen half as well when i don't have that reminder locked onto me.



Now, about that sex.  (- Lace) (11-16-13)

He told me to imagine I was in a dungeon. A real dungeon. I had been there for days, chained to a wall. My next meal was barely visible in the moonlight across the room. I was cold, naked, wet, and chafed. I am starving, and dehydrated.  With this setting, Master fucked the hell out of me.

I was stuck for a while, in "the middle" - I kept begging please because I was to the point of arousal that it was so strong it was painful, but I couldn't cum, and I felt like I was hitting the wall over and over instead of getting there or turning off and I couldn't explain what I needed from him, but I think he knew. The only thing going on at that time was sex. No more story, no other touching, just penetration, and I think I was stuck too far into reality to make it either way.  I don't remember what he did to bump me over the edge, but I remember that he added some other form of distraction/arousal/stimulation and then I was seeing my wrists tied straight out from my sides, leather glove/cuffs tied to them pulling my hands tight, and I saw a doorway opening down a dark hall, and there was a light behind it, and it was opening so slowly and I wanted that door to open so badly. And then I would see Master again, and I would be having sex, and I almost wanted to yell "WHAT are you doing here?" and then I would realize without him I wouldn't be able to see the door, and I would go away again. It was beautiful, and intense, and horrifying in a way that really turns me on.  

After the sex, I kept drawing out the original fantasy he told me. Wondering when I get to eat again, and how much torture I could, or would be forced to endure before I would get food. or water... I would do more for water than for food.   But the dangers of getting water could be that I would be forced to orgasm over and over again, since I'm a squirter, it could be even more dangerous.