I do too.: November 2013

Thursday, November 28, 2013

There boots are FROM my family, and if i lied about how i got them i would never forgive myself.

The more i walk the more i think about my boots, what they mean to me, how they make me feel, and how i'll explain them to my family

Personalities and songs

Figure you already know these, but since I actually put them all together, I wanted to share. :) Plus it's good music.

Please don't leave me -Pink (Danny)
Drilled a Wire - Blue October (Danny)
Lying... Panic at the Disco Danny
Inside of you - Hoobastank (Danny)

Dark Horses - Switchfoot (Lace)

Perfect - Alanis Morissette (Candy)

Applause - Lady Gaga (Phiar)

Colors - Crossfade (Emily or Sydney) Always get Bodies - Drowning Pool stuck in my head after this song, they're my two favorite mood songs.

Other Mental bookmarks for me.

The Waterboarding scene Flyleaf -Again

the hotel scene Halestorm - Nothing to do with love

(An imaginary interrogation scene) (Can't stand the actual video, but that's ok, I have something else in my head for it anyway.)

Asking for my mind to go away almost got me butt raped

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Stayed at Major's last night.

Master is watching Dr. Who.

We made tacos, and ate pie.
Also had spaghetti with mushrooms.

Lace ate a ton of spaghetti and almost made us sick. I finally realized she had overeaten as I was taking off my collar and I was like "Fucking bitch!" and made her come back out.

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Something I wrote for a contest in 2010. 200 words or less Nightmare Contest.

The Duct Tape is Silver.

There’s something comforting about the quiet. It’s so soft and cheerful. Like the snow covering your house and my footprints, allowing me not to disturb the dog chained out front. There’s also something smooth how duct tape keeps glass from breaking loudly. In fact, I may already be in your kitchen. No, don’t go check. If I haven’t broken in yet, you’ll bring the dogs inside and I‘ll have to kill them, too. If I am in the house, you’ll find the broken glass, and I‘ll have to kill you before you scream. There’s no point in being loud, really. That’s what got you into this trouble in the first place. I was in the library, minding my own business. Doing my crossword, in fact, and you stomp in saying they’re charging you “an insubordinate amount.” I was only there for the quiet, and you had no respect for anyone, or the silence. It was as if I was sitting in the woods watching a deer, and you shot it. I watched the silence die. So when I’m standing behind you, I’ll be sure to grant you the courtesy I didn’t receive. You won’t even know I’m there.

Research Essay, Race Bannon

This assignment is not an essay, Master just wanted a brief overview (I have been assigned two names this week), the "short list" so to speak. I'm not sure if all of his accomplishments and history can be compiled into a short list and i would like to post personal interests and such as well if I can find them.

Race Bannon joined the gay leather community in 1973. He is a dominant male, and has been in a triad relationship for over 16 years. He loves rope and bondage and has written a bestseller on the topic, called Learning The Ropes: A Basic Guide to Safe and Fun SM Lovemaking. A lot of the classes that he teaches and information I've seen on the books he's written seem to be focused on teaching beginner skills or info. Also interesting to note is that his books are not solely for gay leather but for the pansexual community as well. (Which is awesome!) He has won numerous titles, taught hundreds of classes, written 2 books, changed the way the kinky community operates (DSM Project and the KAP Project), started a publishing company, and is currently a director or board member of several main groups, websites, and clubs. This guy is amazing.

I'mm going to try and put the accomplishments in chronological order, that should be a great picture!!

1973 Joined Gay Leather Community
1986ish Founded KAP (Kink Aware Professionals) (Directory) organized this list of kinky professionals that Guy Baldwin had started collecting.
1991 Southern California Master titleholder (along with Mike Pierce, as Southern California Master and slave 1991 contest winners).
1991 Southern California Regional Pantheon of Leather Community Service Award, 1991
1992 Wrote/Published Learning The Ropes: A Basic Guide to Safe and Fun SM Lovemaking
1992 - Founded and Edited Daedalus Publishing Company
1993 Southern California Regional Pantheon of Leather Community Service Award, 1993
- 1994 Led The DSM Project to change the way the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) categorizes it's definitions of mental illness in relation to kink (can't find much on this group, surprisingly, as it was the subject I was the most interested in!)
1995 Large Nonprofit Organization of the Year Pantheon of Leather Community Service Award, The DSM Project (Race Bannon, Project Leader), 1995.
(Info hints sometime in the 90s) Co-Founder and Board member of National Leather Association Los Angeles.
2001 Deadalus Publishing Company was acquired by Overstock.com
2001 Featured in Out of the Darkness: The Reality of S&M A Documentary produced by Hardy Haberman
2005 Featured in Vice and Consent, a documentary Vice and Consent (winner of Best Documentary at the CineKink Film Festival in New York)
2005/ Jan 2006 Turned over KAP (Kink Aware Professionals) to NCSF National Coalition for Sexual Freedom
2006 National Leather Association International’s Lifetime Achievement Award 2006.
2010 Mister Marcus Hernandez Lifetime Achievement Award (Man) Pantheon of Leather Community Service Award, 2010
2011 San Francisco Bay Area Leather Alliance Philip M. Turner Lifetime Achievement Award 2011
2013 Received National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Creating Change 2013 Leather Leadership Award

Current 2013
Current Board of Directors member and Social Media Director for the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom.
Current Board of Directors Chair for Community-Academic Consortium for Research on Alternative Sexualities (CARAS).
Current member of Board of Governors for the Leather Hall of Fame.
Current Advisory Board member for The Alternative Sexualities Health Research Alliance.
Current member of the Chicago Hellfire Club.

(Can't find a date: Website) Past Board member of National Leather Association International and Avatar Club Los Angeles.

(Can't find any info on this) Produced and Hosted Bound To Talk (Kinky Internet Talk show)
(Can't find a date or advice column) Written many articles on sexuality and a former sex advice columnist.

IMPORTANT notes of changes to DSM III - V on paraphilias

Resources Used:

http://bannon.com/bio/
http://bannon.com/kap/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daedalus_Publishing
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kink_Aware_Professionals
http://www.leatherati.com/2013/01/race-bannon-receives-leather-leadership-award/
http://www.daedaluspublishing.com/titles.htm
https://ncsfreedom.org/press/blog/item/ncsf-press-release-race-bannon-joins-ncsf-board-of-directors.html
http://67.159.222.79/interviews/racebannoninterview.htm
http://leatherhalloffame.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=12&Itemid=15
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraphilia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Leather_Association_International

With all the information I have on the subject, it maybe be prudent to write an essay on the changes in the past DSM books regarding sex, paraphilias, homosexuality etc. and how these are important and affect our day to day lives.

My research list for my weekly essays.

List of Names on Paper from Mama Vi at LHC 2013

Race Bannon
Guy Baldwin

Women's Leather Movements:
Dorothy Alison (LSM)
Pat/Patrick Califa - Writer of 50+ fiction books (Samoa organization for leather women) Book called Coming to Power.
Dr Gayle Ruben Dr in cultural anthropology
Jo Arnone

Baroness Monique Von Cleef - Arrested in 1964 for being a pro domme returned to US in 2006 (Would not give up her client list)
Victoria Catherine Carti (Penthouse) 1980's Variations Magazine Publisher

Geoff Mains -Writer Helped found NLA Urban Aboriginal
Larry Townsend- Erotica Leathermans Handbook Traveller-Green cover
Chuck Renslow Photographer (50s) The Male Physique Photo of Tony Curtis Gold Coast Bar
Peter Fiske -Spokesperson --Founder of Aids Emergency Fund
Steve Maidofe - NLA Purpose statement Living in Leather National Leather Association
Jack Jackson Blackjack
Pat Bond - Eulen spiegel - TES
Bill Larkin - Secretly funded his organization -- Society of Janis South -- now Threshold
Robert Embry - H.E.L.P Homophile Effort Legal Protection - Drummer Magazine Genie Barn "LAPD frees the slaves"
Tony Deblas - Desmodas Publishing - Dr. William F. Deblas Publisher of Drummer NLA (Dungeon Master) Magazine (Desmodas is a type of bat)
Marco Vassi - Writer/Pornographer John Preston Gay Male fiction
Reverend Troy Perry - writer "The Lord is my shepherd, and he knows I'm gay" Metropolitan community church - nondenominational -Documentary "Fish out of water"

John Preston
Jay Marston
Alex Warner
Tomi Ungerer

History of Gold Coast Bar
Rough Bars
macadori fund
mama sandy
leather and levi
spirit of stonewall awards
vanations magazine
Book - Coming to Power
LSM
IML Leather Pride Flag (History) - Out of the darkness
NLA
Book - Child of the Blood Tonya - Cub (my leather chaps)

Update of Collar of Protection Agreement

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Thursday, November 21, 2013

To Do

Finish finger floggers I started (the turks head knot at the top is killing me, have to change the key chain ring to make it do-able)
Finish Purple-tipped cat-o-nine (or something close to one, it has 5 braided falls with sharp tips). Need to wrap handle and maybe add a top to it.
Finish 2 essays. One on Race Bannon, which I have started research for. One on Guy Baldwin, which i have not even thought of.

Take a nap. I have been so tired today! I've done nothing at all, and I feel completely worn out.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Punishment and really good sex.

Master gave my collar back today. Well, put it on me. It was taken away from me on 11-12-13. It's been a week. (11-19-13)

It was a pretty strong reality check to realize how much it grounds me. I didn't think about it so much when I didn't have it, except to feel a rush of anger every time I saw it on His belt, but thinking back over the past week I really have 1) avoided the black choker I was supposed to wear in it's place when i always look forward to having my collar put on and taken off in the mornings and at night. 2) I don't listen half as well when i don't have that reminder locked onto me.

Now, about that sex. (- Lace) (11-16-13)

He told me to imagine I was in a dungeon. A real dungeon. I had been there for days, chained to a wall. My next meal was barely visible in the moonlight across the room. I was cold, naked, wet, and chafed. I am starving, and dehydrated. With this setting, Master fucked the hell out of me.

I was stuck for a while, in "the middle" - I kept begging please because I was to the point of arousal that it was so strong it was painful, but I couldn't cum, and I felt like I was hitting the wall over and over instead of getting there or turning off and I couldn't explain what I needed from him, but I think he knew. The only thing going on at that time was sex. No more story, no other touching, just penetration, and I think I was stuck too far into reality to make it either way. I don't remember what he did to bump me over the edge, but I remember that he added some other form of distraction/arousal/stimulation and then I was seeing my wrists tied straight out from my sides, leather glove/cuffs tied to them pulling my hands tight, and I saw a doorway opening down a dark hall, and there was a light behind it, and it was opening so slowly and I wanted that door to open so badly. And then I would see Master again, and I would be having sex, and I almost wanted to yell "WHAT are you doing here?" and then I would realize without him I wouldn't be able to see the door, and I would go away again. It was beautiful, and intense, and horrifying in a way that really turns me on.

After the sex, I kept drawing out the original fantasy he told me. Wondering when I get to eat again, and how much torture I could, or would be forced to endure before I would get food. or water... I would do more for water than for food. But the dangers of getting water could be that I would be forced to orgasm over and over again, since I'm a squirter, it could be even more dangerous.

Monday, November 18, 2013

Phiar would like me to give you a friendly notice that she will probably be out today.

-Emily

Friday, November 1, 2013

you can come tuck me in now.

please

Phiar

Recipes I've been looking up lately.

I do too.