Instead of Pain

I want to be totally helpless from You. I need it. I want You to tie me down and take out every frustration You've ever had on me. Call me slut, whore, bitch, stupid fucking cunt, and tell me that I can't do anything about it because I'm tied down so tight even Houdini couldn't get out. Beat me, and tell me that I don't have a choice, I have to take whatever You do to me. Tell me I deserve it. Tell me that I should have listened the first time, and not the second time You told me to come here, or sit down, or stay. This is what I get and You've already given me a chance to apologize, so no, I don't get any mercy. This is Your time now; Your time to do to me the very thing I've deserved since the day we met. What I've been earning since the day we met. "Oh and in case this is too much, or I do anything you can't handle.... Well, that's just too damn bad, because your stupid little safeword won't save you now." (But really You'd just say that to turn me on.) And then beat me. With the paddle. Until I cry. And laugh at me, and hit the same place again to make me yell out. Put something up my ass, hard, as far as it can go, to hear me yell louder. Torture me until I'm too hoarse to scream and then find something worse than anything You've done yet, so that I don't have any choice but to try to scream. You'll love every second of my struggling, because it's pathetic and weak and useless, and I need You to tell me so. Laugh at me, and mock me. Hurt me until I never want to be hurt again. Break me completely. I would hate every second of it, but love it, and love You so much more than I can ever say.

I want to hurt. Right Now. This very minute, being 2:19 am. and I'm so tired.

I broke rule two, but not rule one, and I love You, Master Kyle.