January progress toward goals

Cultivate new skills 
January Goal: Make a list of skills I'd like to learn.

1) learn to identify and explain the differences between various power tools, especially saws, and tell what their function is.

2) learn to build a shelf that doesn't wobble.

3) learn to advertise my business, online and offline,

Learn how to find events where I can vend,

Learn how to set up an attractive display,

Learn how to pack a box attractively and efficiently for shipping.

4) learn how to use at least one new power tool this year.

5) learn to make a vendor application/resume that I can send out or give to people.

6) learn to tie a pineapple knot

Save $500 this year. That's $50 a month (If we miss 2 months)

Jan goal:decide where to save the money.

Master says we can open an account just to save money. 

Or we can try to pay off the car early. It is due to be paid off on dec 2017 and I'd like to be done with those payments earlier so we can buy a house sooner.

Church. 

be closer to God.

Praying and considering my faith

Read 25 books.  (2 a month, +1)

Jan- read 3 books

1) the banished of Muirwood

2) Holmes-Dracula file

3) the thief

Make a list of books I want to own. 

Jan - list 10 books I'd like to own

1) the phantom tollbooth

2) the BGF (big friendly giant)

3) howl's moving castle

Make a list of books I own. 

Jan - list the books inside the house that we own

Buy 12 new books (and read them)

January books bought
+ 10     (Full set of 10 Pendragon books (January 4th))
+ 3       The Thief trilogy. (January 4th)

 +1        Ender's Game

+ 1        The Holmes-Dracula File

February new books

(Goodreads) notes on love.... Marriage. By William Benitez 

A conspiracy of kings (book 4, the thief)

(Goodreads) CRO marketing and advertising book

Make 12 sales on Etsy.

Feb goal met, 30 total listings in my etsy store.

1) red/brown flogger pair, to Canada! 

2) rainbow segmented flogger, to UK! 

Spend 3 days a week in the garage, working. Or painting. Or leatherworking. Or putting stuff on etsy. 

Make my business an actual job.

January, work on a schedule. Begin at 11, end by 6 pm. 

Really enjoying this idea. It helps me to stop working myself all the time, there is a time to work, and a specific time when I can stop trying to get things done and take a break, or relax, or take care of me. I like it. It's hard to take a whole day "off" so far though. I end up restless by the end of the day.

Make something beautiful (x 12)

Not forcing this. When I make something I'm in love with, I'll share it.

Make home a place I want to be.

If I don't need/use/want it, throw it out!

Jan- ideas include

Organize my leather room

Make a small coffee table / bookshelf for reading and drinking tea

Find a space and make a comfy reading nook. 

Stop apologizing

Be me. Stand up for myself. Be spontaneous. Be creative.

New painting.

In progress

Last nights nightmare.

I was in trouble, and I was leaving my parents house. Running out of their house. I tripped over a rose bush, one long limb from a rose bush came loose and kept getting caught on my skin every time I pulled it loose. I had thorns imbedded in my skin all up both my legs and my arms. I was pulling the thorns out carefully, one at a time. To get them out without a lot of blood and pain, I had to figure out what angle that had gone into my skin at, and basically unhook the thorn from my skin. Otherwise it would catch painfully and rip skin with it. So I had figured out a system and the thorns were out of my arms and most of them were out of my legs, and Andrew is there and he tells me that as my punishment I have to leave the rest of the thorns in until morning.  The only problem is I still have that twisted long rose branch stuck to my skin and every time I get one part of it loose it catches on my hand or arm or leg. I finally get it out of my leg and it swings back and a big thorn sticks into my neck, about three inches under my ear. The whole limb is stuck on this one thorn and I'm trying to unhook it so I can be done with this limb and go home and deal with my punishment. I'm trying the different ways to twist it to figure out how to get it loose, and my dad comes over to help, but instead of being delicate, he just yanks it out of my neck. It hurts so much. And then I feel the wetness on my neck, and the warmth and there is blood everywhere, and it's running down my neck all over my hands. I try to find where I'm bleeding, try to stop the bleeding and put pressure on it but it's too slippery and  I feel myself getting lightheaded and dizzy. I think I have to get help, I'm dying. I'm freaking out, there's so much blood. 

And then I wake up, and I hear myself whimper, almost a closed scream. I start, and put my hand to my neck to see if I'm bleeding. No, no blood. I want to hold my hubby close, I was so scared. But now I know I'm ok. And he's with me. 

I do wish the bad dreams would stop though. Even though this one was really... Interesting I guess.

Non chicken soup for nana

Vegan "Chicken" Noodle Soup

Ingredients:

1 block extra firm tofu

2 cups diced onions (I prefer sweet or vidalia)

1 cup diced celery

1 cup diced carrots

2-3 cloves of garlic chopped

whole grain bow tie pasta

4 grams cocaine (kidding)

sea salt

black pepper

poultry seasoning

olive oil or coconut oil

corn starch

vegetable broth or stock (32 oz)

Instructions:

In a large deep skillet, heat a generous bit of oil (about 3 tbs) on high and then toss in the onions.  Reduced to medium-high and stir now and then.  After the onions have browned some and have started to become soft or more translucent, add in the celery and carrots.  This is a mirepoix base for our soup.  Season the mix with a couple of pinches of sea salt, the garlic, and a dash or two of black pepper.  Continue cooking until carrots become soft.  Do not forget to stir now and then to mix around the flavor and to prevent burning.  

The mirepoix base should take about 30 minutes.

In a large pot (stock pot or dutch oven), bring to a boil the vegetable broth/stock and 3 cups of water.  Stir in the pasta and 2 tbs of poultry seasoning.  I recommend adding a splash of olive oil to help prevent sticking.  Return to boil, cover, and reduce heat to prevent boiling over.  Stir occasionally.

While all this is cooking, drain tofu. In a plastic freezer bag pour about a 1/2 cup of corn starch.  Crumble the tofu and try to squeeze out excess water.  Add the crumbles to the bag, seal, and shake.  Add corn starch as needed until the crumbles are well covered.  Sift the crumbles from the bag using a sifter or colander.  

Add a splash of oil to the mirepoix base, bring up the heat, and add the crumbles to the mix.  Stir fry the mix until the crumbles brown and are not powdery, gooey clumps.  Remove from heat.

Now combine our skillet creation with our noodles and allow to mingle on a medium heat for few minutes so the flavors combine, stir occasionally to mix it all up. 

Soup is ready.

Optional add-in to our skillet mix:  Sprinkle in a couple of tbs of nutritional yeast while stir frying the tofu.

Chesh

Vegetable soup with rice is what I'd do... Easiest way to cook from fresh: celery ,Carrots ,Onion, garlic, oregano. Chop them into bite sized pieces and cook down with a few cups of water. Add in a handful of rice or potatoes for a heartier meal. Other spices/herbs that work well: basil, bay leaves (don't eat them though), sage, thyme.

From Marjorie

2 onions, chopped
2 carrots, chopped
2 ribs celery, chopped
punnet cherry tomatoes, halved
2 cloves garlic, smashed
2 handfuls button mushrooms, sliced
1t black pepper corns
5 cups water

From a blog that tells how to give your vegetable stock more flavor.

Schedule change today.

Since Master has asked me specifically to work on the living room today, I will be changing my schedule a bit.

I still plan to get a lot of corsets done today though! I am ready to work on them!


So, since I'm going to be working on the living room, I will do that first, so that I will be sure not to be interrupted by wandering males. (Major didn't go to school today, and somehow blames this on me)

So I will be starting work on the house around 11 AM, and continuing until probably around 1 PM, and then I will take a short break, walk the dogs, and begin work making corsets for floggers.

Living room
Walk dogs/take break/eat?
Flogger/corsets
Take pictures and upload them to fetlife + etsy.
Use PC to update text details on toys
Done.

I am hoping that at some point Relly will help somewhat in the kitchen with dishes while I'm on my period.

Also, need to set up a date to visit my family, before we visit his family!

oops, I still have paintings to finish. ugh.

Progress on work schedule

Ideal
Alarm 8 am
Start work 10AM
Walk dogs 1 pm
Done with workshop by 3PM
take/upload pictures/etsy/computer business until 5PM
Done for the day

Actual
Alarm 9 am (1 hour later than preferred)
Start work 11 AM (1 hour late)
Walk dogs 12 pm (1 hour EARLY)
-add in random 2 hour lunch break with hubby-
Done with workshop by 6 PM (WHAT IS GOING ON)
take/upload pictures/etsy/computer business until (8PM )
Done for the day


I am actually starting to approach this as work, which I very much like.
Have to figure out how to handle this work thing with the hubby randomly running around needing things, and figure out how to avoid his superpowers of DISTRACTION!

Really enjoying that when I do focus on work and give myself a set time to do it, I'm actually able to let myself stop trying to DO THINGS at night when I'm "done with work"

Due to the state of my hands (super-dry, so I have vaseline on them currently, which is not a good idea to have while working on leather), my lack of hardware to complete projects until probably 3pm, and the fact that we have scheduled maintenance at around 1PM today, I am taking tuesday off this week.   I may and probably will still end up in the workroom doing things at some point today, but as of right now, I am going to spend my "work" hours doing some needed housework, and figuring out what needs to be talked about at maintenance.

New goal/ vision

Run my days on a schedule like a business. 

I want to get my chores done and be working on my business by ten every day, and then be done or almost done with my goals by five, maybe even by three. 

I am pretty motivated to try this, especially with everything I have to get done before we visit my parents on Thursday. 

Story + dream. Second this week.

Not really sure where the dream ends and the story begins. 

I'm in this big house, it's at least three stories (that I have access to) and all the walls are white-washed cinder blocks. There are stairs (made of cinder blocks) on both ends of the house, but one set we aren't allowed near but it doesn't lead to the main downstairs area. Each floor is huge, and has several rooms. I spend days wandering around, looking in to each room, trying to weigh what I am allowed to touch and what I'm not. I don't know who is friendly and who is not. There are at least nine other kids/teens/young adults. 

The rooms are all well-furnished, sort of. There are three small rooms on the end of each hall on each floor. Some have just a mattress in them, but not a real mattress, not some dingy mattress with just a sheet on it on the floor, no- it's beautiful modern furniture, or a beanbag-style bed made at adult level, not dorm room style. Every piece of furniture is wider than normal and could double as a bed as well as a couch or chair. It's like a super classy furniture arrangement inside a school or hospital, or medical ward. 

One room has a stack of painting supplies in the corner. Watercolor notebooks, sketchbooks, canvas, you name it. At least five painting trays, a bucket of paints, brushes, rinse-containers. But they aren't the cheap ones you see at schools that look like they've been used since the dawn of time. Most of the supplies look new. All the trays are brightly colored plastic, with no paint staining the inside. Four or five easels are in the corner. There are books of artwork on a shelf, and some posters of landscapes are on the walls. 

We are dirty, scared to sleep, scared to touch anything, don't know what month it is or where we were taken from. The man who roams through to check on us is mean, and we stay out of his way. He has a temper. He always seems angry and frustrated. We've seen someone come in to paint a few times, I think it's a woman. She doesn't acknowledge us. 

There are showers and a laundry room in the small rooms. One of the showers is just a shower head out of the wall and a drain in the concrete floor. One of the boys got locked in overnight once. 

Don't remember how they feed us.  Probably a room on the "main" floor. There's a living room at the base of the stairs but most of us don't go down there unless we have to. 

Eventually I go and explore the back staircase. It goes up, and there is a large open "living room" with a  double king sized bed as a couch. There's a beautiful oriental rug, and some nice lighting. The woman is up there, reading. I beg her to let me use the paints, to let me do something, to let me learn while I am being held captive, in between torture sessions. (We get beat twice a day. Before bed and sometime in the middle if we can't find a place to hide from him. We've found a lot of hiding places, but not quite enough for everyone, so at least three of us get beat mid day). She puts down her book, with a bookmark, not on the spine and explains this is how you don't damage the book, then has me crawl onto the bed. 

She wants me to prove that I actually want to learn. That I will obey, and not damage her things. She makes me lie on my back and begins suffocating me with a giant fring-y throw pillow. At first if I'm slow and careful, I can breathe through it. She pushes harder, and I turn my head to the side, and can still get a little bit of air. I try to accept it, they might kill me now or later anyway, so it doesn't matter much, but I have to submit to her will if I expect to have a chance to survive. She reaches under the pillow and turns my head so that I am facing upward, and then his strong hands push the pillow down on all sides of my face. I can't even get air out of me, it's like I can't move my chest is so tight. I try to stay conscious, and I keep closing my eyes, and catching myself, and forcing myself to open my eyes again, and forcing myself not to fight back. And I keep trying to breathe out, or in, or ... Something. The dark and the blue and gold pillow fringe start to blur, and I jerk my arm, and try to push it off my face, I can't even control my motions, and a hand grabs my arms and holds them. They might kill me here, I could never wake up, swims through my head. 

I wake up later.

I begin reading, using the different rooms, learning a skill. They give me new clothes.  They let me use a dresser (cubby sort of thing. Drawers and shelves) closet? , to keep "my" things.  

What I don't know is that they send out packages several times a year as they see fit to the parents of the teens they've kidnapped- Christmas cards, paintings, bird houses, any project that kid has done or worked on. They punish failure and reward progress, and do some random torture as well, but that's less often - with a houseful of kids you always have a reason to punish one of them, so why torture for no reason? Teach a lesson.  After a while we are allowed to pick what to send out. They deliver the packages easily, they never mail from the same place. He maybe drives a truck (or something, plot point?) and uses multiple post offices, or doesn't even mail it himself. He will put a package into a truckers cab while he's away, and the guy doesn't find it for a week or more sometimes. And it will have an address and enough postage, and so some of them drop it in the mail, or open it, or take it to the police. There is a recurring place that is being painted and they can't find it. (It's the landscape hanging up in the art room.)

They always know when someone is thinking about escape. We don't know how. There are no electronics in the place, no tv, computer, cameras. Thankful there is a microwave, and stove and blender. In fact it's a beautiful kitchen with a shelf full of books... 

The ones who refuse to learn or can't keep up progress, or make a mess and don't clean it, or... Whatever, begin to disappear. At first just at night, then sometimes during the day, then for a few days. 

If it's not a tiny-room, it has something to learn in it. Math, science books, technical stuff, animals, effective communication, literature. Languages.  Music. 

Updated New Year's Eve goals

Cultivate new skills 
January Goal: Make a list of skills I'd like to learn.

1) learn to identify and explain the way various types of saws are used.

Save $500 this year. That's $50 a month (If we miss 2 months)

Church. 

be closer to God.

Read 25 books.  (2 a month, +1)

1) the thief

Make a list of books I want to own. 

Make a list of books I own. 

Buy 12 new books (and read them)
+ 10     (Full set of 10 Pendragon books (January 4th))
+ 3       The Thief trilogy. (January 4th)

Make 12 sales on Etsy.

1) red/brown flogger pair, to Canada! 

2) rainbow segmented flogger, to UK! 

Spend 3 days a week in the garage, working. Or painting. Or leatherworking. Or putting stuff on etsy. 

Make my business an actual job.

Make something beautiful (x 12)

Make home a place I want to be.

If I don't need/use/want it, throw it out!

New

Stop apologizing to people who have wronged me.

Stop explaining myself. If the answer is no, say no. Don't say, "no, because..." No one wants to hear that shit.

Don't say sorry for no reason. 

Be me, and don't apologize without good reason.

I forgot the other one I had. 

Monday

Visit school to eat, art institute + j and w tour

Mail flogger to UK

Dream + story

I'm at school, and I have a boyfriend, and it is wonderful. It's the best high school experience I have ever had. I don't want it to end. I'm used to being alone, unpopular, and ignored, jostled, hassled by my peers. Here I start to fit in. I round the corner at the bottom of the stairs on my way to my next class, the last one of the day, and he pins me to the whitewashed cinder block wall by my neck, my feet barely touching the ground, definitely not supporting me. I try to gasp, but my breath is held inside me and won't go out or come in. I smile up at him, and enjoy that I've given him this permission over me. He slides me back down to my feet and kisses me before giving back my air. As trained, I kiss first, breathe later. 

In class I stand until given permission to be seated, which takes forever. I'm only a head taller than my chair when standing, so everyone assumes I'm already seated. Pity, I wanted to make a good impression, even though my kiss cost me the time I would have spent on a bathroom break. I have to pee, and it's so hard to concentrate on the new teachers. 

I like this school better than the last one. This school is for fixers. I think I might have found somewhere I finally fit in.

Makers - metalwork, woodwork, carpentry, house building, bricklaying, medicine, paper, if it needs to be made, you learn it here.

Destroyers - demolition, explosives, lumber, disassembly, crematorium

Fixers - recycle, doctors, repairmen, plumbers, take it apart and put it back together fast and well, psychologists, 

Growers - plants, trees, children, cattle, 

War - strategists, fighting styles, weapons training, obedience training

People - speaking, communication, 

Art - painting, designing, metal, wood, this section learns from all the other schools too

Math and money - Analytical, how do we make it work, number oriented

Cleaning - chemicals, manual labor, safe handling and disposal of dangerous materials, housekeeping, 

Some of the colleges overlap, some trade students. There are more. Some of them have schools within schools to cover all the material for each vocation. 

Students get to pick out of X that are close to where they live that they would like to learn at. If they fail at one, they are allowed to pick from 3 new choices, but each time they swap schools, they get less leeway. One or two is ok. At a seventh rejection, you have to do manual labor/supervised labor / work at McDonald's forever / sent out of the country, which is really bad. 

Need to draw a map for this idea, but don't have my art book right now. 

To do 14th

Make 7 corsets for floggers

Send payment invoice

Paint! Really, paint stuff. Every spare moment. 

Groceries

Bag of frozen chicken

Loaf of bread

Mozzarella cheese

Celery

Mushrooms

Carrots

Milk

Cereal

Snack bars 20 pack

Small pizza crusts

So with that, I can make

Chicken soup

Hot sauce chicken

Broccoli grilled cheese

Mini pizzas

Cereal

Peanut butter jelly sandwiches

Stuff we need to go back to Walmart and buy because I didn't have the cash for it

Pepsi

Orange soda

Dog food

Sugar

Bag of tilapia 

Maybe one more bag of broccoli

Lots of sex. and then, more sex. Perfect day.

He told me the day before that he was going to give me anal.

So when I found out we werent' going to be running errands like I had thought, I suggested a shower, and initiated sex by putting a plug in. He told me to put in a bigger one, and handed it to me. I took the other one out, and asked if he wanted me in a certain position so he could watch. He told me to bend over the seat, and I did. He didn't let me put the glass toy in on my own, he used it on me himself. Then he started fucking my ass. It hurt, but he kept me face down and used me anyway. After a few minutes he fucked me a little in the cunt, and then after that, he started fucking me in the ass with the glass toy again. I begged him to change the angle, and within seconds I was loving it even more. Then he turned the toy around and started fucking me with the angled end. It hurt but I wanted to beg him to fuck me harder with it. I moaned a lot. Then he took the toy back out and pushed into my ass one more time. It went in a lot easier this time, although I don't remember it being hard to get it in the first time. I was overwhelmed by the pleasure, the hot water running down my back and over my face, and then he started pulling me away from the wall as he fucked me, so he could bang my head (and elbows and knees) into the wall with every thrust. He asked if I liked it, and I said no, and when he said "good" and kept doing it, I started enjoying it, too. Then he pulled out and before I knew what was going on he turned off the water. I was almost dazed  because I didn't expect it. I had been about to ask if I could put a toy in my pussy while he fucked my ass, so it would feel tighter to him. I told him this as I dried off, and he brought the toy over to the bed. I had made the bed and put a towel, some clothespins, and some lube on the side so he could use what he wanted. I made sure to put my belt on the bed too, because I had been begging him to choke me with it since the last time we had sex. (When I ruined it. He fucked me in the ass and at a particularly inopportune moment, I screamed and jerked away. It pushed his dick out just as he was about to cum, and he didn't get to cum into my ass like he had wanted.) He made me put the clothespins on and then taped them, pulling my nipples down so the clothespins were flat and wouldn't poke him while he fucked me. I was shaking I was so turned on. I wanted him inside me immediately! Finally, after everything was taped, we got on the bed and he told me to suck his dick. I did, and then he got on top of me and forced his dick down my throat and me back onto the bed. I couldn't breathe, but he would let me breathe every now and then. Sooner than I expected, he was ready, and wiped his dick on my face. I tried to get away from the drool and stickiness, but he wiped it back on my mouth and wouldn't let me wipe it off. He put the belt around my neck and pulled it so tight. It was amazing, and then he locked it tight enough I could feel it ut not tight enough to choke me. He pushed me under a pillow and as he shoved his dick back into my ass he told me "Hush. Don't ruin it this time." It hurt, but I kept quiet. It didn't hurt as much as the last time, since we had been playing in the shower too. He told me I was a good girl for being so quiet, and as I was wishing I could ask, he told me to come if I could. I don't know if I got off but I really enjoyed it a lot. A lot. After, we laid there together a while, with the belt around my neck like a leash, and the clothespins still taped in place. I rubbed his chest. He told me he wanted the bed made for him by the time he came back in, and that I would sleep in my slave-bed tonight. He caught me trying to masturbate with the toy he brought to bed and made me stop.


As we were going to bed I told him I wanted sex again. He said no. Then we talked about his book he had just finished, and he started rubbing my back. He rubbed my inner thighs, and I told him it made me want him inside me more. He kept doing it. I moaned. At some point he started sucking on my nipple and pinching the other one. I wondered if I was going to be told not to masturbate tonight. I thought he was going to see how turned on he could get me and then force me to stay that way until he came home on Sunday. I told him I wanted him inside me. He asked how much. A lot. SO much. Prove it, he said. He told me to suck his dick if I wanted to show him how much I wanted it. I was still afraid he wouldn't. I said but I might suck your dick and you still won't let me have you inside me. He laughed at me. After a minute of me stalling, he ordered me to suck his dick (that he had just fucked me in the ass with) and I did it immediately. I sucked his dick, focusing at first on the head but as he really got into it, I made myself gag a few times by going as far down as I could. Normally I can go all the way down, but I couldn't reach the base of his cock this time no matter how hard I tried. When I gagged I stayed down so he could feel my throat close tight around the head of his cock. He told me I was a good girl and told me I could get on. A quick condom later I was on top of him, rocking as much as I could and for the first time in forever (maybe the first time ever) not hurting from how deep it was while I was on top. He let me control the thrusting and the in and out, which I tried to do a lot of up and down because I know that's his favorite, and he played with my nipples even more. It felt great and I took full advantage. He said when I finished he was going to fuck me in the ass again. I told him I wasn't sure if I was scared or looking forward to it. He said, but you'll take it for me, right? Can you do it for me? I told him I would. I also said I wasn't sure if I would ever be satisfied, I wanted it so much all the time. He grabbed my nipple in his teeth and dug his fingers into my collarbone and started fucking me from under me. I begged for more pain. He dug in deeper with his fingers and I was so close and then he really grabbed hold of the bone and the position was perfect, and I got off. I held my breath and my head felt like it was expanding inside my skull and it was fucking heaven. Then he made me put my feet flat on the bed and I was afraid but he held me up so I didn't fall, and he kept fucking me like that and I couldn't get a breath I was coming so much and so often. I kept begging to come, and I needed it. Part of me wanted him to tell me no at one point, but I'm so glad he didn't, because it worked out perfectly. After about 5 minutes straight of Master getting me off, I told him I couldn't come anymore. I looked him in the eyes and said, "Take my ass." He looked surprised but really happy. And asked me to repeat myself. "Take my ass now, I can't come anymore." He had to roll over and throw me off, I felt too weak to get off of him. I was scared, but I had promised, and I also kind of wanted it too. I was especially worried when he put me on my back, and it went in pretty easily, and the pillow was over my face, and he made me come again, over and over again. It hurt so much and I loved every single second of it. I felt like I would pass out, but I didn't want to stop. Finally I started begging him to come inside me, so I could stop coming, and after a while, he did.

I couldn't stop giggling, I was so high from it. I kept pushing myself, because I could hear my voice as Susy, and I didn't want him to worry. It felt great. I thanked him over and over during the sex for having mercy on me and fucking me. For giving me release. For letting me come, for letting me have him inside me again. It was amazing, and I went to bed satisfied. I didn't even rub, although after writing this I'm going to go do that now for a bit before I have to get ready to go in about an hour.

Thank you again Master for the sex (twice), for choking me, and for letting me get off. You are the best!

Long day tomorrow.

Wake up at 6:30 

Wake master up at 7:00 with coffee

Pack bags

Make sure I have enough money

Get final orders from master

Walk dogs 

Go with Matt, pay for my food? 

Come home, start rainbow flogger order and cut 8 inch dowels.

Relly

Pick up clothes from chick

Send invoice for flogger pair to email address (mail package on Monday) 

Have fun with parents

Take pictures of Micah with new stuffed animals

Text wife every cigarette. Not for permission, just to continue accountability

Take pills

Final goals for 2016

Cultivate new skills 
January Goal: Make a list of skills I'd like to learn.

Save $500 this year. That's $50 a month (If we miss 2 months)

Church. 
Not necessarily "go to church" or "find a church" but what I want from this is a way to be closer to God on a regular basis, even if it isn't going to a building.

Read 25 books.  (2 a month, +1)

Make a list of books I want to own. 

Make a list of books I own. 

Buy 12 new books (and read them)
+ 10     (Full set of 10 Pendragon books (January 4th))
+ 3       The Thief trilogy. (January 4th)

Make 12 sales on Etsy.

Spend 3 days a week in the garage, working.

Make something beautiful (x 12)

Make home a place I want to be. Organize and throw out junk!

Possible to do tomorrow list

Get my measurements

Wrap Christmas presents

Respond to fet Mail

Old fet Mail

Car inspection

Corsets on Phoenix floggers

Read medics yearly goals

Maintenance

Work on bills

Paintings?

Buy supplies from lowes - eye hooks + tung oil.

Post office to calculate shipping.

Short summary

We fucked last night. (There was anal. I won't draw on myself again.)

I started my period today.

As long and tedious and rushed as today was, I am so excited and feel it was a success. We have new people for mast, got lots of donations for a nonprofit charity, and had a good discussion at mast. 

I am very tired though. It is time for bed. 

Master has been very bossy and I like it a lot. Also letting me do things. I like that a lot too.

Truth

It is the deepest yearnings of my heart that my Master be demanding, have unfairly high expectations of me, cruel, and quick to punish, and set me up to take a beating. On purpose. That he push me to my limit for fun, and test me, unprepared. That he not tolerate any dissention, back talk, or objections. 

I don't care if it's busywork, if he decides to keep me busy with a black crayon and four pages of paper and won't let me do anything else until they are all colored in, I hope he would expect me to thank him when I was done. I don't care if he makes me come up with my own list of useful and useless things, but I want it. 

And I think it would help me to stop thinking so much at night.

My requests for limits.

Enough sleep

Personal hygiene allowed

Not to be cold.

Goals for Today

Finish both loads of Major's laundry

Cut some falls for a heavy flogger out of my pretty heavy red leather

Turks heady on glitter flogger one, corset on glitter flogger two.

Paint? Maybe.

Hearthstone too. Or maybe watch Gotham while I make things. 

No garage today. 

Yeah, I guess that's it. The cleaning, I don't plan. It just keeps happening.