candy

OK, this needs to be put down somewhere because it's starting to become a problem, and I don't want it to get super out of control or anything.

candy is trying to deal with her memories of Danny, and she doesn't know how to. BUT she doesn't want to ignore it, pretend it didn't happen anymore, and she feels like no one will listen to her. Honestly she feels like a little kid because she's getting that reaction.

She doesn't know how to talk about it, or what to say even. But it's eating at her. And I know all of it was in my head, and it's not *real* but it's something she's still trying to come to terms with.

Excuses

OK, so I probably shouldn't even do this, but it's annoying me.

Some random guy is bitching because he can't keep his butt crack covered at some events when sitting down and so when people posted a bunch of crack pictures on some website he apparently frequents he blew a fuse and said it's wrong and bad and horrible and says that these people are bad people because of how they dress  (He goes on to say that you can't tell what a woman is like from how she dresses, and I also disagree with that)  and then to try and support his already completely fucking retarded point, he links to THIS article

http://thinkprogress.org/health/2013/07/25/2357901/fat-shaming-overweight-people-actually-makes-them-gain-more-weight/#

which says that
"The findings were striking. Americans who were overweight in 2006 — but not obese — and stigmatized for it were two and half times more likely to end up obese four years later than those who hadn't been fat-shamed."



and this is where we STOP and take a look for a moment.  
1) What is their definition of fat shaming?  
2) How do they judge whether or not someone has been "fat shamed" or "discriminated against because of their weight"? I'm assuming here, that they ASK the person later, "hey you're fat now, would you say people have been mean to you"? or, "Hey, you've kept a reasonably healthy weight, do people pick on you about it?"
3) Wouldn't it make more sense to say that someone who is obese is more likely to blame everyone else instead of their own lack of self-control, while the people who have taken care of their bodies and been responsible for their own weight are less likely to blame their misfortune on someone else, because they are be definition being more responsible?


http://psych.unl.edu/psycrs/450/e3/chapt/stanovich_c5.pdf  
^ This is my link to support my proposition that the article is biased. 
It tells about (one of my favorite studies ever) a study in Taiwan in 1975 (Li) that found that the strongest measurable variable in determining whether young people would use birth control of some sort was the amount of appliances they had in their home. The more appliances, the more likely the person was to use contraceptives. However, this OBVIOUSLY does not mean that having a blender makes a person more likely to use a condom. There is other data to be taken into account. You have to look at whether it is cause and effect, or something else that relates the two. In this case, the relation is money. People with more money  are typically more educated, typically have more appliances, and as such, are more likely to use birth control. 

It seems highly unlikely to me that the people who gained weight were treated much differently than the people who did not gain weight. What is possible is that the obese section believes they were treated more unfairly. While i said it in a mean way before, that they're whining about it, people with self-esteem issues are more likely to see criticism where there is none, or at least more likely to be hurt by it. 

New song I like by jasmine thompson

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsp7NODvtGY

NAUGHTY BOY LYRICS

"La La La"(feat. Sam Smith)

[2x:]
La la, la la la la la na na na na na,
La la na na, la la la la la na na na na na

Hush, don't speak
When you spit your venom, keep it shut I hate it
When you hiss and preach
About your new messiah 'cause your theories catch fire

I can't find your silver lining
I don't mean to judge
But when you read your speech, it's tiring
Enough is enough

I'm covering my ears like a kid
When your words mean nothing, I go la la la
I'm turning up the volume when you speak
'Cause if my heart can't stop it,
I find a way to block it, I go
La la, la la la la la na na na na na
La la na na, la la la la la na na na na na,
I find a way to block it, I go
La la na na, la la la la la na na na na na [2x]

If our love is running out of time
I won't count the hours, rather be a coward
When our worlds collide
I'm gonna drown you out before I lose my mind

I can't find your silver lining
I don't mean to judge
But when you read your speech, it's tiring
Enough is enough

I'm covering my ears like a kid
When your words mean nothing, I go la la la
I'm turning up the volume when you speak
'Cause if my heart can't stop it,
I find a way to block it, I go
La la, la la la la la na na na na na
La la na na, la la la la la na na na na na,
I find a way to block it, I go
La la, la la la la la na na na na na
La la na na, la la la la la na na na na na,
I find a way to block it, oh
La la, la la la la la na na na na na
La la na na, la la la la la na na na na na,
I find a way to block it, I go
La la na na, la la la la la na na na na na,
La la na na, la la la la la na na na na na,

I'm covering my ears like a kid
When your words mean nothing, I go la la la
I'm turning up the volume when you speak
'Cause if my heart can't stop it,
I find a way to block it, I go

I'm covering my ears like a kid
When your words mean nothing, I go la la la
I'm turning up the volume when you speak
'Cause if my heart can't stop it,
I find a way to block it, I go
La la, la la la la la na na na na na
La la na na, la la la la la na na na na na
La la na na, la la la la la na na na na na
La la na na, la la la la la na na na na na

Pictures of the Thing (not a purse) that I made :/

Tried a drawstring, keeping it shut (and full) helps it maintain its shape.

It's HUGE! they all fit in there. That is the BIG penguin.  he looks so small. 

I sewed a handle, and a straps onto the back. 

They need a little non-sewing work, to stay even. 

the BIG THING beside my normal sized purse. 

In this picture i put one of my cube boxes from my cubby INTO it. 

 and put chicago screws through the drawstring holes, trying a new approach to keeping it more together and less floppy.

That cool red ring I told you about, around my candle. freaky looking.

My new Hair Color!!!

before

 Before

After 

Silly picture

I've been doing a lot of my journalling in my notebook. My Master likes it there. Also, I tend to pick up my journal every night when I go to bed. It's a new habit that really helps me settle. I write down what I want to do the next day, and if I have thoughts about what's going on in my life, I jot those down as well.


He really wants me to come up with things I want for my birthday in May, and I'm thinking about it, but i have no clue what I want yet.