officially bored. as fuck.


-Phiar

last thoughts before falling asleep.

I really wanted to cut last night.

It happened right after Master fell asleep, and I was thinking about some things I haven't had run through my head in a very long time, and I suddenly realized I wanted to cut. I wanted to cry, and I wanted to just talk through it with anyone, and almost went and talked to carly. But I was determined, and stayed in bed until I finally fell asleep.


We've been really thinking about Danny for a few days, and the date is coming up soon.
He's even been trying to design some things for us to try out when it's time. He's been talking to Vicki about them.




And this is a completely random idea that popped into my head after the dream I had with the blow pops, but at the end of the dream I was supposed to call and ask permission to come, right? Well, my idea since you wouldn't have really cared whether I did or not, was to call a random stranger and beg them for permission to cum.   NOW, this is NOT in any way something I ever ever want to do, or would ever enjoy doing, and I definitely don't want this idea to ever be seen by anyone I would ever play with, but I thought it would make you smile, and is at least an interesting idea, maybe for a story or something.

A night alone.

Can't seem to get my emotions under control.

But I really need to be alone.



8 strand handle.   Hate it to pieces. Tried so hard.

20 pushups.  Haven't done pushups in a long time, proud of that.

clean the floor.

consider trying to tie myself up.

cry during a song I love.


try and get the hair off the carpet.

think about asking Danny for help. pretty sure that's the winner.

20 more pushups.

Hope it's not a sign.

Took my first new birth control pill today, and trying to get it out of the package, it broke in half.  Please don't be a sign of things to come. please just mean that this has really shitty packaging.

Something I want to make when we have our own house.

It's a shelf on top, so you can hang coats, purses, umbrellas, hats, keys, and then on top you can have all the things that should go by the front door, like gloves and winter-wear, and dishes that go back home with the person who brought food in it.    It makes me very happy. I want a big one, like this. 

Feeling better

Today is day 5 of this horrible cold, but I'm feeling much better, and with ym ritual morning bowl of soup I realized, I have made the most beautiful,. most perfect bowl of soup I've ever seen.   Well, I need to rotate the picture, but you can still tell it's perfect. And delicious, as much of it as I can taste. 

Also, I really enjoyed kissing my husband while he slept today. 

I have missed watching him sleep. 

I've been cleaning and scrubbing up, to get rid of all of the sickness as quickly as possible. Gonna change all the sheets, wash all the towels and laundry that I can, taking two showers today, one at the start one at the end, even changed out my nail polish (I feel pretty today even though I've been sick) - And I'm hoping to get it all done before my period hits, it's due today. 

Interested in trying this

http://youputiton.com/5-monthly-beauty-box-subscriptions/

It's a monthly fee, and they send you girl stuff in the mail, mostly make-up depending on what package you get.

Sounds really neat, especially the $10 a month ones, that's not a whole lot for a chance to find a brand I might like.   Well, I'd love to hear your feedback on this, let me know